Back from Blackpool and never again

 I don't know if this post was published back in Feb, but I will let it rip now.

Most times when I go to this magic convention I come home whacked and say never ever again.

Until the next year around December when the names which are due to appear arrive in my email.

The names are big and the magic dealers will all be there. I spent £24 on props last year, nothing really.

I worked too hard coming up to the event and I fell asleep through much of the action.

So never again for sure. 

Flights were affected by weather and trains were cancelled both ways. The train to Manchester airport was cancelled and coming back was very chancy. But I got a train to Preston and from there to Manchester Piccadilly. No one I asked knew if there was a train coming to bring us to the airport. Then I asked one guy in uniform and he told me to get the tram! Where do I get it from? and he told me. No luck! I asked 4 people to find the tram, instead of saying they didn't know they sent me in a different direction. Then I asked a taxi driver and was finally on my way.

The train was very slow. It took us through some of the most deprived areas of Manchester that I have ever seen. 

Shit! but the UK is in a really bad way.

I was in Newcastle a few years ago and I went into a bar to try the famous Newcastle brown ale.

The barman said I could have a small glass not a pint as it would "Blow yer ed off" He was right it was strong, so I had a few words with the lads at the large bar and not one of them had a job, they had skills in the shipbuilding gone and the work was gone. One of the lads pointed to a man at the end of the bar. "Ya see im dn dere E is a right romeo him hes a postman, a job, holidays. A great catch for the women"

I bought the 4 of them a pint and was amazed when I went outside to see that WW3 had broken out Police in paddy wagons with Alsatian dogs and clubs breaking up fights.

One thought always stays with me is of groups of 10 to16 year old ferrule kids running wild. I asked Nobby how come they are out going wild ?." These kids are dealing drugs. The parents are on drugs or they are alcoholics, or the parents just don't just give a shit"

FUTURE WHAT FUTURE?

So heading back to Manchester airport.

So I arrived and had a sandwich and tea. Big mistake! I headed down to security and it took over an hour and a half to get through security. Bags were being taken from the front of the conveyor belt while others were being placed in a queue. No order to the method. An American lady standing beside me told me that her bag had been placed up at the back and no one was paying any attention to it for the last hour. 

Her flight was soon.
I saw these Zombie like people drop my bag on the floor and I exploded.

I let a roar which woke them all up and in a few minutes security and a supervisor came.

What's the matter Sir? Look into that guys eyes he is on drugs, stoned out of his mind.

This lady here, her bag is way up the back and she is heading for Hollywood.

He grabbed my bag and hers and started to whip his staff into shape.

The lady threw her arms around me and gave me a big kiss. What a wonderful perfume.

She was crying with relief as she ran for her gate.

I ran for my gate only to see.

MY FLIGHT WAS CLOSED.  

So I ran for it anyway away in the far end of the airport it was.

A BIG RED SIGN FLIGHT CLOSED.

The Guy standing there called me by name was glad to see me and he let me in. 

HOORAY FOR RYANAIR. (I thought that I would never say that again)

Covid saw a lot of staff laid off and replaced by minimum wage with no skills and no one to train them.

A young lad from up the road worked on cruise ships. A while ago he went back to work with no pay, The trainee staff will not be paid for 6 weeks or will the regular staff. But they will have a place to stay and be fed until they sail again. Now the BOSS has a salary as big as a New York phone number is taking a zero hit, the other big one was P& O shipping, they parked the ships and let all the skilled men go.

Many things happened, one thing in particular comes to mind.

The engine stopped and the novice crew rang for help to start it. It was a calm night, but the ship was drifting. No one knew how to start the engine..Panic. A tug headed out and if he landed a line on the ship he could claim it for salvage. But before it got there a captain was air lifted to the ship.

Big fines followed..

by the way I am paid up for Blackpool in Feb, as from today it is a definite no

Christy Moore "They Never Came Home" (1985)

Valentines day massacre

 This year it is 41 years since the disaster struck Dublin. 

Young people turned up to a dance in the Stardust ballroom.

A fire broke out and the fire doors were padlocked shut 200 kids were injured and 48 were killed.

The owners of the ballroom were well connected and they got compensation for the damage to their property.

No jail time or massive fines for them. For the survivors it has been a lifetime of pain.

A few years ago I was in Blackpool at a magic convention and a lecture was being held in one of the ballrooms. A few thousand in one giant room. When I went in I was in shock. No gangways and all the fire escapes were blocked because of building work. I had to go, though I wanted to see the lecture.

When I got back to Dublin I rang the police in Blackpool and was greeted with "This is not our job"

I said that she should ask someone to tell her about the Stardust disaster and that I have told you and if you don't follow it up it will be your problem.

The next year there were at least 3 fire safety officers going around.

I have been in many places where the fire doors are blocked with beer cases and rubbish.

Sometimes I make a call.You never know.

Let the games begin

So it has come to pass that the 6 nations rugby kicked off and thousands of fans came to see Ireland beat Wales. Not a simple task. They are on a par with the all blacks of New Zealand for skill and ability.

So right from when I got up the ball started hopping for me. One job after the next. Wonderful after all this time.

But I know that Monday will be back to slow jobs. This is the nature of the job.

One poor unfortunate lady was Mary Hanafin, She left her return ticket back to Thurles, it cost her €43.98,it was stuck into the slot for the seat belt in the back. If I had seen it in time I would have brought it down to the ticket office and she would have had a great surprise. I am going on a train next week from Manchester to Blackpool  that is a fair hop. But if you book your tickets on trainline.com you get a great price. Return ticket Manchester to Blackpool €22.64 that is nearly half the price. 

Still you have to keep your travel documents safe.There is heartbreak when tickets and passports go astray.

One day I was walking towards the gate in Dublin airport when a guy in front of me dropped his passport. I picked it up and went after him. He didn't even say thanks and then he dropped it again. This time I stood behind him at the security gate and let him sweat for a few minutes before I gave it back to him again. I told him that it is important to say thank you, what do you mean? I just told him that if I was a different kind of person I might have thrown his passport into the bin to teach you a lesson. He might learn some day. 

Good manners cost you nothing.

At the airport with an English man, €18 on the meter, he said "Give me a receipt for 20. so I wrote it and he grabbed it and ran off. I was shouting for him to come back. There was a Garda there and he asked me what the problem was. So I told him that the guy had not paid and just ran off and can I run after him?. No you can,'t. I will look after this, so he got onto his radio. 20 minutes later the passinger was 

was brought back by a Garda to the taxi.

You didn't  pay this man. 

Yes I did I have a receipt to prove it

Now sir the taxi driver says not, but we can go down to the police station and play you back the footage  from his camera and if it happens that you did not pay we will convict you for theft.

He paid €18 and then the Garda said the receipt was for €20, so I got the €20

I have missed my bloody flight thanks to you he roared as he turned to go.

The Garda looked him straight in the face and said this is all your fault, now be on you way and enjoy the rest of your day.. 

He was really boiling as he went off. 

The Garda had radioed ahead and the other Garda waited just as he went through the first security check, then dragged him all the way back to us.

There are bad days and great days  

Sunday Bloody Sunday

 If you are Irish you will remember this day 50 years ago when a protest march of unarmed people were met by a group of British Paratroopers who without warning opened fire and killed 14 people.

In the British way no one was punished.

They had inquiries and one line which sticks in my mind was that the soldiers were 

"bordering on the reckless" 

Things like this prolong the pain for their relations who lived on.

Though the term Bloody Sunday came from 1920 when a football match was taking place in Croke Park.

A couple of Armored cars came on to the pitch. Facing the crowd who were now silent the opened fire with a hail of bullets.

That was in retaliation for a nights work from Micheal Collins.

The British had sent in an elite group of assassins into Dublin. 

Their purpose was to take out all the IRA leaders in one night. Micheal Collins and his gang killed them all in one night. 

So the Brits opened fire on the crowd at the match.

A man from India asked me if I had ever heard of the Vallanwala  Bagh massacre

In India Apr 19 1919 The soldiers opened fire as the people fled, some jumped into a well to escape. The soldiers came over and shot the people in the well. The British said that 350 people were killed.

The Indian government said that it was over 1.000 people who were killed,

Franz Harary Mega Magic Touring Show

Murder most fowl again.

 A poor unfortunate music teacher out for a jog after school was attacked and in murdered in broad daylight.

The Garda have him (We hope).But people do not feel safe especially women.

OK Enough doom and gloom. 

I did a few mornings, it was slow VERY slow, but I am healthy in mind and body so I will keep going.

On the brighter side restrictions are being relaxed and we can creep out from our hiding places once more.

The Blackpool magicians convention is a go. 150 Magic dealers and scores of the Worlds top magic names.

A few years ago I met up with this well dressed American magician and we talked for a while. He suggested that we stop for coffee, so we sat at a table and after 10 minutes this fantastic looking woman came over (Kiss Kiss) and sat down, then a second one even more beautiful. Then a third. Wow

I had to ask him what his Cologne was called? Why do you ask he said?

Its attracting the women like bees to the honey jar.

No John you don't understand I am Franz Hirrari and these are my showgirls.

In the trade showgirls are known as box jumpers.

A joke I heard a few years ago about Las Vegas.

A guy and his wife went there to celebrate.

They were going to walk along the strip and go for a meal.

His wife was very slow getting changed so he said that he would meet her at the entrance. 

On leaving the lobby he met a Goddess of a woman with an over exadurated bust and make up that would put any woman to shame,she caught his glance and she came over.

"What do You think honey ? Would you like to have some fun for$200 ?"

Sorry that is too much.

"Well give me an offer and we might do something"

$50 is what I would spend.

She stuck out her ample chest and said. This you will never get this for $50 and off she goes.

As they were coming home after dinner they meet again and the Lady looking at his wife says

"NOW THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR $50"

2022 Cheers

But I won  in spite of all that 2021 threw at me here I am 1/1/2022 are  kind of stuck by a bug we cannot see.

This reminds me of 1999 wen the Mellinium bug would strike and kill us all.

Computers would stop and planes would fall from the sky as the computers clocks would not recognize the 00 in the date.. But we survived. Just about.

Now the bug changes by the month, but most people who get it are fine in 24 hours.

Something seems the same about the big panic and the reality of the situation.

Folks my new years resolution is to stop doing the lottery. Today was my last day. 

But I won !!!!!!

A few years ago I checked my ticket on the scanner and it said "Its a winner"

First prize was 30 Million Euro..Happy days. I checked it again and went to bed.

The next morning I double checked it and went into the Lottery HQ with my bank details, passport etc..

"This ticket is a winner I said" she put it into the machine and said "You have won a ticket into the millionaire raffle". That was a non winner.

I argued with the young lady that it should say "You have won a prize" which is very different. 

But I digress

I won €45 with no 00000 following

A guy I worked with once won £4.7 million Punts

His brother rang me and asked me to come to the party of celebration.

I declined as I was starting a big electrical job the next day.

Months later I saw Terry (Not his real name) on Talbot St. He looked like he had been beaten up.I stopped the taxi and he told me how a shower of thugs turned up at the party he held and wrecked the pub. Then he was getting 2 sack fulls of begging letters every day.

The end for him came when the IRA (Or someone calming to be ) contacted him and demanded £1 Million or they would kidnap his nephews and nieces.

He went to the Garda and they told him not to worry that they would "Look after everything" So he asked them who it might be? and they said "We don't know.

So he went to live in the USA, in Montana and after around 6 years he came home.

He is a nice guy, too nice!

You have to have a plan B.

If you read this trash you will know that I met the most generous man in history once. God what he told me on the trip in from the airport would sell for thousands.

So who was he?

Chuck Feeney       Google him ! There is a great book

The billionaire who wasn't by Conor O'Cleary 

Mr.Feeney invented duty free shopping 

He decided that God did not give him the money to spend on a lavish lifestyle.

So he used his fortune to improve our lives, He built Limerick university, he invested over $1 billion in Irish education. He also built a 200 bed hospital in Vietnam, Cancer research and altzimers study. and all in secret. His office was on Baggott St.

So folks if you do win tell no one Not even the cat.

The only way I found out about Chuck Feeney was thanks to Obama !

He wanted to know who was giving money to other political party's, so he brought out a LAW that you could not gave away more than $1,000 anonymously

So I drove him to the press conference where he declared that he had given away $8  billion dollars

Such a humble man. I only found out who he was when I bought the paper the next day.

I know that he will help me to distribute my huge Lotto winnings wisely

But my new years resolution is to quit the Lotto.

But to the rest of you I wish you good luck and remember

The lotto is just a tax on stupidity !