Another day another dollar

 Most of us give a bit of time to YouTube and Ticktock, I saw a good one the other day.

A person claimed that he had a right to property and he produced papers to the court to prove his point.But someone was not sleeping and examined the papers."So this is the paper that was signed  in 1964 giving you the rights to the property. Is that correct?"

If it pleases the court to examine the font of the document in question.

The font is Callibri which is a font which was not in use before 1971.

Its nice when the bad man gets caught.

There is an elderly (90) retired solicitor who is a hell of an interesting guy. He asked me to do jobs for him from time to time. One day I drover to his house for a 7 AM start. It was stormy and I came across a lady with a flat wheel. No jack, so I told her of a company which comes out to fix the Tyre. She wanted me to take her to Wicklow, I couldn't do it, so I brought her to a spot where there was more traffic.When I arrived at the house my man just said. "Its too stormy I have changed my mind"

He could have rung me hours before and I took the hump! I blocked him. After the job that I turned was over €40.

Two weeks later a number I did not recognize called me. Sorry to disturb you, my name is XXXXX I am the attorney general. A colleague of mine has been trying to contact you and he is very upset. If you could unblock him WE would appreciate it. "You never know when you might need us"

He was unblocked the next day.

The gems of information are priceless, points of law. Did you know? etc

He is made of great stuff, he had a heart operation and was hopping around a week later.

Hi dog walker is like a film star, another lady to clean and yet another beautiful lady to cook.

C'est la vie as they say in France.       

I am not sure if I gave you this one before.

A guy who makes his living from "Thinking of ides"

He approached a toothpaste company. 

I can double your sales figures in 14 months, with no cost to you and you will pay me £1 Million.

It will cost you nothing. The money will be held in an Escrow account, If my idea does not work you get the money back. So really they had nothing to loose.

The guy took a pair of clippers and cut 1/4 off the nozzle and Voila the toothpaste flowed with ease, doubling their sales. He got the cash and moved to the next project

I must think of something quick

The Tripoli Brigade (part 1): anti-Gaddafi forces enter Tripoli

Lucky Lucky me

 The sister of a friend of ours from the Philippians died from cancer. 

She had 6 kids.Aged between 7 and 16. Her husband went off and left the whole mess behind him.

If you are sick or you want to go to school you have to pay, so on top of everything her sister in Dublin and her mother are all trying to keep the ship going. Not an easy task by any means.

Just to say that I contacted a guy who was in the taxi. He wrote 2 great books.

The Russians are coming. Which is fantastic beyond belief and the second book is about attorneys in America and how they behave, that one is called Stingback, He used an ailius Geoffrey Allen

The second man was Sam Najar "Soldier for a summer" I picked him up in Portabello and was instructed to take him to the airport and no port tunnel Plus I was to stop at an internet cafe to print out his boarding pass. I nearly blew a fuse and got him to the airport in time. On the way he told me that he was meeting people to sell the film rights to his book. I asked him what the book was about. "I let the foreign brigade in the overthrow of Ghidaffi. Go to youTube and put in tv5 the foreign brigade. There he is fighting better than Rambo.

I asked him if he had an agent or legal advice? No was the answer.

They could pay you and then depict you as a drunken clown and you could do nothing about it.

We parted as pals in the end and he left word for me in the local coffee shop.

Muammar Gaddafi - The Tripoli Brigade (part 2)

KARMA

 Well St.Patricks day has come and gone and boy O boy did we have an American invasion.

The hotels let themselves down badly by charging shy high rates.

They will learn.

I am going to keep this short. An American who works with the embassy waved me down. They are building a new embassy on the Jurys hotel site. He mentioned the earthquake in Turkey and told me of one that he had witnessed in Nicaragua, same thing, the town flattened. What did they do? They built the new town around 40 miles further down. It looked great I looked out over the lake and I noticed something very strange. No birds, No swimming, No sailing. So I asked. Oh Signor when they built the town they had on money over for a sewage system, so the raw sewage just flows into the lake. Imagine the troubles that are coming. 

Now tonight your clocks jump forward one hour..

Years ago I was at the Stakis Hilton on Earlsfort terrace, looking at the paper.

The porter came out blowing on his whistle like a station master, I moved forward from the taxi rank and before I got a chance to get he had thrown their suitcases into the boot with a wallop.

"Airport" said the woman, then after a block she said "Driver, do you think that we are fecking stupid? Stop driving round the auses and just get us to the bloody airport".

The proper way to deal with a customer like that is to drive them down an alleyway throw out their cases and tell them to fuck off. But I didn't. They were fighting  like 2 dogs growling at each other. We reached the airport and I pulled out the suitcases.

"I hope you allowed enough time for your flight" Corse we ave ya fucking moron.

"The change in the hour fucked up my day" What yo talking abaut.

"The clocks! they went forward an hour last night, "I still laugh at how his face went through 30 shade of purple.    

Now I have 3 clocks in the house that change themselves, when you change the battery they pick up the time signal and all the phones are clued into the change.

Still I like to think that it was Karma bighting them on the backsides

The Isle Of Innisfree.Happy St Patricks day

This is the song of the emigrant, full of longing and dreams of home

I've met some folks
Who say that I'm a dreamer
And I've no doubt
There's truth in what they say
But sure a body's bound to be a dreamer
When all the things he loves are far away

And precious things
Are dreams unto an exile
They take him over
The land across the sea
Especially when it happens he's an exile
From that dear lovely Isle of Inisfree

And when the moonlight
Peeps across the rooftops
Of this great city
Wondrous though it be
I scarcely feel it's wonder or it's laughter
I'm once again back home in Inisfree

I wonder over green hills
Through dreamy valleys
And find a peace, no other land would know
I hear the birds make music fit for angels
And watch the rivers laughing
As they flow

And then into a humble shack I wander
My dear old home and tenderly behold
The folks I love
Around the turf fire gathered
On bended knee
Their rosary is told

But dreams don't last
Though dreams are not forgotten
And soon I'm back to stern reality
But though they pave
The foot ways here with gold dust
I still would choose my Isle of Inisfree

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Richard Farrelly

St. Patricks day

So in a few days time it will be St. Patricks day. God bless you all.

A man from America told me that it will be nothing like it used to be as loads of Irish pubs have closed down in Boston, so I told him the news that I heard in Blackpool, In a pub called Albert and the Lion, they are closing 1,000 pubs. If they do not do this the entire business will fail.

It is a huge number for sure but if you imagine a ship in heavy sea with a heavy cargo. The captain has to jettison cargo to stay afloat.

Weatherspoon pubs are up and down the country, they provide cheap meals and cut price drinks. Tim Martin is its founder and when he was at school one of his teachers said that he was useless and he should leave school and get a job as a lorry driver, so he looked at him and said "OK Mr Weatherspoon" and just to prove him wrong he named all the pubs after him.

The guy who brought McDonalds to Ireland was refused a loan, he got going and lodged all his takings at the bank that refused him. Just to rub their noses in it.

Its not only pubs that are going, 2 banks closed in Ireland, the Ulster bank and KBC bank.

I feel sorry for the workers but I hope that they can re train their skills. 

One day I went to the bank to check on something. I was buying 2 cars in Japan and needed to make a transfer, so I went in and the teller looked at me with a sour expression, (I dress down as I don't want gold diggers chasing me ). "Put in your PIN number" There was around €40,000 in the account. Her face lit up like Time square on New year. 

Remember that money is a tool, use it wisely.

There is so much tragedy in the media that I feel like unplugging myself.

A titled lady and her baby a few weeks old went on a rampage together and the hunt started, around 2 days later they were located with no baby. After another 48 hours the body of the child was found. Madness by any standard.

Here is a story that I will share with you. If you know an adopted Chinese called Andrew you can tell him.

The mother was crying and her husband was consoling her. They had a new buggy and the child was dressed in new clothes as well. The mother had a bag filled with bottles nappies and spare clothes.

Only when we reached our destination did the enormity of the situation hit me.

Andrew was to be handed over to his new parents.... The poor mother was sobbing from the depths of her soul, she stroked Andrews cheek before she brought him into the adoption society.

Andrew no child was ever loved more than you.

Stanley Holloway - The Lion And Albert