A lady talking noncence

 We have a saying that one good turn deserves another.

And so my story begins in Sandymount after getting a coffee from the girl with the golden smile. I had just stepped up to the taxi when a black lady from the other side of the green started calling me. So I went over and she said City West. Which way would you like to go?

Oh Jesus Christ the taxi driver don't know the way.(She is talking into her phone) Do you have a particular route to go?Go to the coast and turn right. She directed me along the road until we hit the M50. All the time she is telling the person on the other end of the fone that she will get drinks on arrival and canapes for the 1,000 guests.My mind kind of switched off as we were  taking the most long route ever. Then as we passed the sign for Ballymount she shouted

"My god the fucking eejit has gone the wrong way we just passed a sign for for Ballymun..I slowed way down and said Look at thee sign for Balllymount the next turn is yours. Any more of the bad behavior and you will be walking.

5 minutes later we were driving into City west. I was shaken and went into the hotel to use the toilet. I said hi to reception which is a good tip as they might be needing a taxi. Outside there was a guy struggling with 2 suitcases on wheels. I decided to tell him that you cannot push anything on wheels on gravel, you have to pull it. So I took one case and he pulled the other. On the way over I told him about the mad woman looking for free wine and food for 1,000 people.Some chance that. Catering for large groups leaves very little profit, if you looked at a breakdown of the figures you would understand extra staff etc. What she is looking for would cost around €8,000

As we walked beck to reception I saw a wonderful sight a Rolls Royce and a Hummer. Wow I said that is fantastic, I love the Rolls. "Take it for a drive I will get the keys" No No No I said. I can't do that. I would be mortified if I damaged such a car. You see I would be very nervous as well. God you are a great guy. I didn't think about that.

So as we reached reception he asked me if I had another job lined up. He went inside and asked in reception and then he lined me up with a cup of coffee and a job to the airport.

I asked in reception who the guy was and was told that he was Mr Mansfield who owned the whole place.

Just as I took my second mouthful of coffee the colored lady stormed into reception and ordered me to take her back to Sandymount, 

But she had to make other plans.

Reception told her to wait for the taxi outside for her taxi.

The Windmills of Your Mind - Noel Harrison

This song is like an anthem for taxi drivers doing long night shifts, one moment of time telescoping into the next endlessly.

On Monday morning at 2am the clocks move backwards one hour. An extra hour in bed.

All the technology will move forward all by itself.

Its easy to remember which way the clocks go. Spring forward and Fall back.

Another thing that is changing the taxi meters, we got a raise.

I love this story about a taxi driver who worked hard and was pulled over for overcharging.

The passenger went to the carriage office who measured the journey in another taxi and he was guilty according to them.

Did you check the day? Was it Sunday? No ! 

But it was Christmas day, extra pay that day for him and for me!.

The driver told me that after all the threats no one said sorry.

I do miss going out and meeting all the different people, I met a wonderful girl from Mexico in Aldi, she was only a few hours in Dublin. I hope her life goes well.

Our city is populated with wonderful people from all around the world. Brazil is well represented ,wonderful girls with a heart full of laughter. We are lucky to have a girl from Argentina who comes in to give us a hand. A wonderful artist.

Clearing up and I find old treasures

 I was clearing up and I found a wad of papers from a bank.

Taxi drivers know a lot of people and some of the people we know have power.

I had a mortgage which was paid by direct debit from my bank account, a large payment went through and there was not enough payment for the loan. A little fecker from the bank rang me and gave me hell. It was really rough although once the shortage was brought to our attention the funds were paid. 

Someone said that I should write to the bank with no reply. So I went into the head office and the little girl told me that they do not have a complaints department. Then I handed the letter into my local AIB in Raheny. 10 days later I got a reply to say that they had investigated the matter and found no problem. A customer advised me to write to the banking ombudsman with copies of the letters and times. A few days later I was asked to clarify a few points.

A customer who had been advising me phoned me and said that my case had shone a light into the darkest corners. He had gathered the offenders into his office and had great fun with them.The head manager had not listened to the tape at all.Everyone nearly died to hear how the staff member spoke to me on that day. Then questions were asked for around 20 mins. In the folder that I came across someone had written on a letter.

"This client may have mental issues"

I have made recommendations said my contact and I feel that heads should roll though that is not up to me.

My compensation £1200...

Letting off steam

 ,

Things happen which makes my blood boil, here are a few. 

Two sets of twin boys living in the UK. Neighbors alerted social services that the children were being neglected.They called to the house and the mother would not let the inspectors see the children. After a month or so they dropped the case.

A fire broke out and in the beginning they herd the children calling they then stopped and the 4 bodies were located under the bed upstairs. Unfortunately they were dead.

The mother had gone shopping and locked them in unsupervised.

She got prison for manslaughter. There was a description of the state of the house which was really very bad.

Then there was the nurse Letby in UK again. She is alleged to have killed as many as 15 babies, convicted of killing 7. The manager of her hospital where she worked was afraid of reporting her or the hospital might have been closed down.

And the last one was the Verizon Computer scandal in the British post office.Loads of postmasters were locked up in prison accused of fraud. The computer system was faulty. What did management do?They lied and covered it up. The head of the post office got an honor from the Queen and the saga sails on. The percent Postmaster got a £30,000 bonus which had not been approved, all this while hundreds still have not received compensation for wrongful imprisonment.

Something really good to finish on.

I got a big surprise in my bank account €220 in payment  from Amazon for the book.

The steering wheel university 

By Paul Malone.

The author drove a million miles and met thousands of people and they educated him.

You can download it on Kindle as well

(Theirs 3 spelling mistakes)

Summer yealds to taxing times

 Death and taxes, nothing is surer.

So I had a business and an accountant made a VAT return every month.Now I gave him the figures in plenty of time but he was late filing the paperwork a few times.(forgive me if this is a repeat) The gay from the tax office decided to come and see me at the accountants office on a set time and day. On the chosen day the accountant decided to go and see France warm up on the Clontarf rugby grounds.

The tax man was livid and he said "Because you have a bad accountant is your fault not his.

I will come to your house tomorrow and I want you to hand me £400 cash or I will take your house from you. At that time I was setting up a detective agency and I had high tech recording equipment, I also knew a guy in the tax office and I asked him if he would like to monitor the situation from the kitchen..

He nearly blew a fuse and told me to do nothing and he would call me back.

They nailed him and they very grateful and they came back and went through the books giving me a  £400 refund.

I went to the accountant and he wanted £600 to give me back my books. "I will be down with big posters saying that you are a blackmailer and incompatant. I got the books back.

Doing burglar alarms was full of problems. A young guy might read the spec for an alarm on his lunch break, the next day he is missing and he is installing the alarm with no insurance and he would not be able to certify the installation when he finished the job. The other biggie is stealing, I used to set traps with the serial numbers of the notes to use as evidence.

3 Minuets was the record to catch a guy stealing, but I was lucky.

Anyhow about the neighbors cat.She comes to us most days and the agreement is that we have with her owner is that we will not feed her. She loves us and brings us presents, a little bird (alive) and 3 baby mice that would fit into a matchbox. You have to be quick.

Its a never ending roundabout of life.

Is Summer really gone?

Gosh this summer went really fast. Its no help that one of the supermarkets have rows of chocolate Santas and snowmen on display for Christmas.

It is only a small thing but I had to say it.

Now here is a strange one for you. A cat arrived at our house and my son adopted her with open arms. Around 6 weeks later a knock came to  the door and it was 2 garda at the door.

The owner of the cat had got the law to get the cat back. Now we had not stolen the cat and after much over and back the cat was returned.

This shocked me when I compare it to times that the law let down the victim. John Clarke who worked with me in another life bought a taxi and he had a job going out towards Tallagh. His passenger had a suitcase and as he landed the case on the footpath a small boy of around 7 years old came up to him. He had fair hair and spoke perfect English.

"Mister could you please help me and bring me back to my Mammy and Daddy"

John was taken aback, then a man appeared "He does this all the time, everything is fine"

John went to the local Garda station and to our dismay they just said that unless we get a missing persons report there is nothing we can do.

Poor John he suffered and we went down to where  the house was but he seemed to be gone.

So I was heading to Heuston train station. As I waited at the lights to change a Black carer with wonderful girl beside him. The carer put his arm over her shoulder and fondled her right breast. The look of disgust on her face shocked me to this day and instead of going left I went straight on and around by the prison and over to the massive establishment which looks after hundreds of mentally challenged are "Looked after"

I spent an hour asking to speak to the person in charge

Absolutely no one came forward, I wrote to all the care hospitals in the area and in Palmerstown. I wrote to all the Garda stations. Not one reply. I wrote to the Garda commissioner twice and I got a phone call saying that unless a Garda saw it happen that there would be nothing that they could do. I said that its a  good job that he was not on the murder squad.

A couple of years later a huge scandal erupted at the Palmerstown facility, It seemed that they were taken aback as they did not know that this was going on.

Well that's what happens when you wear a blindfold.

A quick snatch of the cash

 I have 2 debit cards One is the AIB bank and the other Revolut. I never had any problems with either debit card. A few days ago the account was getting low, so I put in €100. The next day it was refusing payments and I checked the balance...€1.60 Things were bought in Milan, but the account was cleaned out. Revolut will not talk to you, its type a question and they type you an answer, but the outcome was FUCK OFF. I guess I was lucky as the other debit cart I have has more than €11.000 on it. I will close off that cash on Monday.

Cold Play are in action in Croke Park to wild applause. Bruce Springsteen is a mighty act and he was playing here in Dublin. I picked up 3 ladies and brought them to a hotel in Ballsbridge.

The step down from that taxi was quite steep so I held out my hand to steady the ladies, when I saw the second girls face I gasped. "Are you Cynthia Lennon?" She was and I asked if I could give her a hug. Then the first girl said we all need a hug. The first girl was Bruce Springsteen They asked me if I would like to join them for the show. It turned out I had been booked. Imagine me sitting there in the VIP box.

What about the Euromillions  €150 Million.

You better know how to keep a secret.

I checked my Lotto numbers once and it said ITS A WINNER ! I checked it again and got the same result. So in the morning I went off to Abbey St to collect my winnings. The whole secret is to keep it quiet, I went upstairs and handed in the ticket that would change my life forever. She popped it into her machine and said. Congratulations you have won a ticket into the millionaire draw.. I said that there  is a hell of a difference between Its a winner and you have won a prize. Nothing changed so I wrote to them saying that I was with the police and my duty is to talk jumpers down and I had spent 3 hours out on Howth Head talking  a man down off the cliff edge. As part of my duty I visited his home a few times. Lovely kids and wife, he could not handle that his Lotto dream was not a reality.

It was changed

New computer coming

 I would post more often but I have been having computer problems.

First let me tell you of 2 strange things I saw in Aldi on the East wall road last week. 

First of all I was going in and I saw a modern car with its side lights turned on. It hit me like a flash. He got out of the car without switching it off, then the car would not lock and anyone could have opened the door and driven away. I saw that before so my mind clicked into play.

A few years ago a friend of mine flew to New York and picked up his sisters Prius. She showed him how it worked and they drove to Boston.     On arrival at his parents house he rang NY to see how to lock the car. "Use the key fob" came the  reply. She had the key in her pocket. They were lucky that they never turned off the engine for all of the journey,

The other one happened in Aldi as well. Recycling drink cans and plastic bottle is a big hit. So people are bringing stacks of empty cans to run through the machine. One day a lady was loading in the cans and when she was finished she pulled her refund docket and put her bag into the trash. I knew that there was something odd in the transaction and it hit me 10 minutes later. The bag she threw into the trash cost her €3 at least and I bet she didn't get more than €2 for the cans she brought to the shop. By the way you are charged for the cans at the point of purchase.

 There was a huge error in the Garda vetting procedure. A taxi driver was convicted of raping 2 girls. When they looked into his past criminal record they found that had raped a 9 year old girl at an earlier time. What kind of research had they done?

A Chinese friend of mine is going through the vetting process for weeks now. At one point they handed him back the form because his references were all Chinese. Even though they were all Irish citizens.

Here is a story that you could amuse someone with.

My Daddy went away with some of his mates to Blackpool in 1962.

When he came back he had box and inside the box there was a donkey about a foot high. My wife is turning on her fone of to check the weather. 

Back then we had the weather donkey, 

all eventualities were covered.

The instructions were to put the donkey in the garden 15 ft from the kitchen window.

If you looked out and you could not see the donkey? Then it was night time

If the donkeys tail was wet.... It has been or is now raining

If the donkeys tail was dry, then it is not raining.

If the tail is moving around... It is telling you that it is windy

If the tail remained still.....It is not windy but calm

Then one morning the donkey was lying on its side. My Daddy consulted the manual.

It declared that there had been an earthquake

Modern science Could you beat it?