Just like fishing

 Driving the taxi is just like fishing,you go to your favorite spot where the fish always jump and nothing happens, you wait and then you finally admit defeat and you move on. After cruising around you head for a train station, which is dead as well.

So finally you head for home ween you spot a good job.....Going to the airport €24 Yippee.

He was from Rome and I told him about the wonderful design fault of the Maserati quadroporta.

The air filter is inside the front left wing and to change is a few hours work and the mechanic doesn't do it.

The amazing thing is that a service costs  £1,000 ouch !

Then when he was getting out I told him that I once nearly bought a classic Fiat car once.

What model?   I think I told him the wrong model it was a Topolino. It was garaged for its life and the owner had died. Sight unseen I offered him €2000 and told him that I would be down to Cork in the morning,

My wife overheard the conversation and threw a big bucket of cold water on my plans.

So I found out the next day that the car was worth €12,000 in good condition and the one I missed was driving and ready to go WOW

So my dashcam was giving me problems and I brought it to Mr. Fixit and he said that it is Kaput.

I found another dashcam in the kitchen and wait for it.

It films forwards and inside with LED for the internal camera. A third camera can be fitted to the back of the car. That is not all. The camera is linked to the internet which records your speed, time and date.

As if that was not enough it records your GPS position.

Around an hour after I found it I remembered that an ex.friend of mine had asked me to order it for him. Then when it came he decided that he didn't want it after all.

He bought a much cheaper camera and it has missed 2 chances of helping him.

So get a dashcam When that car comes across the road and hits you.

Remember to unplug the camera and wait at least 10 minutes before taking out the chip. Take it home and one of your children will copy it in to your computer.

So the dashcam I now have is called a Zenfox.T3

Once upon a time I was turning right and a car shot up and T boned me. He was ranting and raving and I put in a claim to his insurance company. They rang me to tell me that I was at fault so I should pay.

So 6 months later I had my solicitor ready and went to court. The other party had photographs and drawing of the area.(before dashcams)

Traffic lights had been erected at the spot in the meantime. He stated that I had cut across the junction while he had a GREEN light. As my solicitor sat down I told him that there was no traffic lights there at the time..

My man stood up again and asked him if his light was green? Are you are sure of that?

Then you are saying that my client went through on Red?

You are sure of that?

There was no traffic lights there at that time. You are making everything up.

I got paid in full.

Back from Portugal

 I told my lady wife that I had seen the running order for the Blackpool magicians convention held next February and that I had booked a place for myself.

"What? you are going to Blackpool while I have not been away for 3 years"

So 10 days in Portugal were put on the cards. We went 5 star as we needed to be pampered. We were extremely lucky as the day before we were due to fly out the airport had a computer melt down and more than 2000 people were sent away. This is why I really don't like the stress of flight travel.

Out and home again went like a dream, the sunshine helped. We had a fantastic lightning storm on the second last night, 3 hours of Gods fireworks.The only down part was killing 2 big cockroaches in our apartment. One of the staff said it was a really big one. I told him that I heard him dragging out the frying pan in the kitchen to cook his breakfast when I got him.

All the people speak Brazilian.

So I went to Aldi and I had just packed my groceries into the boot when this pair of drug addicts asked me to bring them home.

Look I never judge them, another time and place we would be playing opposite rolls. They were going to a sheltered apartment and on the way the man directed me to their drug dealer. While we were there and the husband was doing business the woman told me that this month is really hard for her as her special needs daughter died this month a few years ago.She was just 21.You could tell that it was death by misadventure by her tone.

You do know that I wrote a book complete with 3 spelling mistakes?

"The steering wheel university By Paul Malone". On Amazon

Not my real name.My name was changed to protect the guilty people in the book.

There is a story in that book that I told to a guy in the taxi who said. "If I lived to be a thousand I never would have thought of that" He came on TV that night and thanked me for my service.

Dublin Can be Heaven

Noel Purcell, that will bring the old memories back for sure.

So I was clipping back the front hedge when a lady with a broken arm was passing by. I knew her for sure but I could not recall from where I knew her. So she told me. She had been looking after her elderly mother. The mother had died and her 2 sisters had turned up to the house and started stripping it out.

The mother was dead so they were taking their share of the house ! The bitches never lifted a hand to help her when she was alive and now they had come to sell the house which was my home for 62 years.

She told me that she had to give up her job to look after the mother, she never thought for a minute that they should go and make a will, so that the person who looked after the mother would herself be looked after.

There was a drawing which used to hang up in solicitors offices. It depicts a cow and each side is pulling at it, one end the head, the other side is pulling at the tail end.

And there sitting on a stool with a bucket milking away is the solicitor.

My wife has gone stir crazy. All this covid and monkey pox has driven her mad and she needs to get away

so we are off to Portugal for 10 days. For myself I would prefer to work as I have missed so much time with the changing of my car.

The world comes to me every day, The other day I met a girl from Kazakhstan, I had to look it up as well. It is south of Russia and it borders the Caspian sea. It is roughly the size of India.

A sallow complexion with a hint of Chinese features.She has a doctorate in Political science.

I met a girl from Tierra Del Fueago which is the tip of South America and once 2 fascinating ladies from the North Pole. I only once had a native American Indian.

Anyhow have a good life.