12 th of July

 A big day in Ulster tomorrow as they celebrate the 12th of July with bonfires 40 ft. high made from pallets and marching bands all over the place.

Most people take the day off and head to the seaside. 

I must keep a note book and then I can organize my thoughts.

An elderly couple went to the doctor together and the doctor declared them in good health. There is one thing that you can do to help your lives run more smooth. Saying that he handed them 2 note books with pencils stuck into the back. If you are asked to pick up a message just write it down and there will be no problems with your memory,

So they are at home that evening and they talked about the doctors visit and they sat that there will be no need for the note book.  

Watching TV the husband asked  if his wife needs anything from the kitchen?  Yes indeed she says, there is ice cream in the fridge, get me 2 scoops and put a strawberry on top/  No bother 2 scoops and a strawberry on top.

He is in there quite a while and when he comes back in he has a full breakfast on a tray. 2 sausages bacon and fried eggs.  

She laughs and says. 

That doctor is right you really are slipping. 

Why are you saying that?

You forgot me toast ????? 

 

I saw that joke again on YouTube...Ronald Regan, he was a really funny guy.

Funny is a different way from the present guy. 

Wasting loads of oil ?

 The other day I was making a stew and I found that we had no onions. So off to Freds shop and I got some. I was chopping up one of them when the label caught my eye.

Where were they from? Ireland? Spain ? No they were from Senegal...Its a few countries south of Morocco with Cape Verde islands off the coast.

You might think that the goods could have been used locally instead of dragging them half way around the world. Did you ever buy  green beans in Lidl or Aldi ? Morocco or Egypt for example.

Well today I bought mangetout (beans) All the way from Peru! Have we all gone mad ? 

As my kids often say. "If you feel so badly about it you should write a letter to them"  

I know if you have read a lot of this blog you will have heard this story before.We had a montage with the AIB bank. Our wages were paid into a different bank and a direct debit sent on when the payment was due. Everything going on fine until one day the transfer did not happen.

No phone call or letter. Then one day this chap came on the line, "Whats going on ya bollox? Ya haven't paid yer mortgage," He went on calling me names, really rough stuff.

My wife told me to write a letter which I did. No reply.

10 days later I handed a letter to the banks HQ. No reply

Then I handed another letter into my local bank.

Here is the interesting twist. The wife of a friend of mine worked in the bank and she told me to write to the banking ombudsman. Giving times and also what happened. 24 hours later they rang me back to clarify the way that things had gone.

Well 2 weeks later I got a check for €1400.

Later I was talking to Mary and she told me that she had sat in on the enquirey and it was dramatic to sat the least.  The tape of the call was played and the young lad was sacked on the spot. His uncle had vouched for him for the job and Mary told me that the poor man nearly had a heart attack.

I found out later that Mary is a director of the bank although she just monitored the complaint.

One other thing that she told me was that I should appeal the settlement. 3 unanswered letters ??

Doomsday book !

 We went to Spain a few years ago and we went from Madrid to Barcelona by train.

Train is a really great way to go and after you settle down you can chat to the fellow passengers.

One guy I will never forget told me about security and how pickpockets can really spoil your entire holiday. He said that copies of their passports were stored on the web (Whatever that is) and he had a little black book which had all the details of their credit cards and the help numbers.

I asked him what would happen if he lost the black book.  No problem at all. I will show you,

Each card has 4 banks of 4 numbers, as I am writing it into the book I increase the second digit by 2 and reverse the following 2 digits. Useless to anyone not knowing the code.

Now we have guys who are carrying card readers who scan your cards in your pocket, You must have a RFI card holder from Amazon, While you are at it get a key box and eve a blocker for when the key is in your pocket. Did you know that car thieves can scan your keys from outside your front door?

Here is one for you.

You get into your Prius and start the car. You then pass it over to your sister to go to Limerick.

She stops the car to go to the shops,. She has no key to lock it ! Then she needs to start the car and no key!

She phones you up OOPs you have the key in your pocket !

I am told that this works. Press the phone to the key and your sister presses record for 1 minute.

Now tell her to hold the phone while in normal mode and the signal will start the car.

It is really mad what the modern cars will do. My Tesla makes Americano coffee ready at 7.30 every morning,

I will finish with this one. 

There is small row of new house just at the bottom of Vernon Ave. There was a man and he had locked his keys in his new car. He asked me if I knew someone who could help and I rang him. The deal was £120 and if he could not open it there would be no charge..No charge for time.

He was adamant that his new car would not be damaged. The locksmith looked through the windows and then said "money up front". He went back to his van and took out a box the size of a cigar box. Then he pulled up the aerial and turned a few dials. In less than a minute it opened.

"I am not giving you £120 for that" He put the keys back into the car between the front seats and locked the car. Off he went and the search for another guy went on I think for sure it was a lot more expensive.

The locksmith told me that device had cost him more than £2,000 and he had to produce his license. 

 Keys, Keys ,Keys If I know who invented them I would lock him up and THROW AWAY THE KEY

 

Wonderful sunshine at last

 https://youtu.be/vxuvFGbh9TI?si=rVgVvlUKuqtFQk6R

I hope that the link above works, George Burns. 

The song reminds me that I am not as young as I once was. Though I am still here.

So yesterday I was in the Omni shopping center remarking how many units are closed down when I noticed a girl with a fantastic sun tan and I spoke to her. 

She was from Chile and she had the most wonderful beautiful eyes. I remarked about how great they were and she said that she took them from her mother. 

(I didn't drop the line "How can she manage when you took her eyes?")  

But it was time to go. 

There was something special about the shape of her eyes, something kind of Oriental. Then it hit me Aztec blood, how wonderful.

She landed here last night and met me the next day. Pity I didn't give her my number. 

We are blessed that so many good people have come here to work. We were once the nomads of the world looking for work in England, America, Australia and everywhere else.  I picked up 2 girls from the North Pole once. They had met so many Irish that they had to come and see for themselves.

What did they think?   MY GOD such a beautiful country, green with gentle rain. Why would anyone go?

A history lesson followed and they landed at the airport, A big hug and they were on their way,

300 meters down the road a girl waved me down, Where are you from? Terra Del Fugue, The very tip of S.America. 

Taxi drivers should be schooled to tell a few jokes, to lift the mood.

So I went for a few pints the other night and I took the bus into Clearys pub. After a few pints I was heading home. I decided that when I got home I would take my clothes off downstairs and slip up the stairs and into bed. My plan was going well and when I reached the top of the stairs I realized that something was badly wrong.

I was still on the bus ``` Naked on the top deck 

A trouble shared

 I went up to get a haircut yesterday and I met a taxi driver who was charging up his electric car.

I told him that I had been a taxi driver and the conversation went on for a while longer.

There was a lull in the conversation and then he told me about his troubles.

He was divorced and he brought up his son by himself from infant to youth.

Then one evening he was riding his bicycle along the cycle lane a car plowed into him and killed him instantly. The driver was drunk and was in the process of overtaking 4 cars in one go.

It had happened recently enough and he still had the mental scars of the tragedy.

I look forward to dying he said, so that I can hold him in my arms again up in heaven.

I hope that God will give him some peace. 

 

 

 

40 years ago where was I ?

 I was not always a taxi driver. At that time I was on the night shift in the international telephone exchange. Fielding calls to and from the whole world. 

A Greek youth was doing the same job once upon a time. He was very naughty he listened into peoples calls and with that information he became one of the worlds richest meh. Aristotle Onassis.

Anyhow around 5,30 am a call came in from Moscow "I order you get me this number. Sorry no reply. Then the caller cut in. There has to be a reply that is the RTE number.

There has been an explosion in an atomic plant here in Russia.

One of the other operators overheard and said The switchboard is closed now it opens around 8.30. He panicked  and I said that I would link him to the Times and the Independent newspapers than I would call him back at 8.15, So it happened.

The Moscow operators were not so patient, but they were shocked with all that was happening that day. 

What kind of an organization would have a room full of reporters without a direct phone line.

A ship sank a few years later....... still ne direct line.  

Just one more thing

 As the detective Colombo would say.

I have a book in my collection called Navajo weapon. The Navajo code talkers by Sally McClain.

I hope that it is still on Amazon. 

It is very detailed. An American Indian called Mike Shand contacted me through the blog and led me through a bit of his world. The link to his blog is there on the side. I hope that it is still active.

 

Fairwell to the last whisperer

 During World 2 the signals between naval ships were being read by the Japanese. The allies came up with a very clever solution. They went to the Navajo Indian reservation and decided to use them to pass messages. One Indian passed the message and the receiver translated it back to English, making sure his mike was off.The Japanese never cracked the code. One guy from America told me that a "Bodyguard" was with each Indian. Not to protect him but to shoot him to avoid capture.

I do believe that they never got a pension or medals. But Obama did take steps to correct the situation. 

I think that they are based outside of Las Vegas.

Google has it