KARMA

 Well St.Patricks day has come and gone and boy O boy did we have an American invasion.

The hotels let themselves down badly by charging shy high rates.

They will learn.

I am going to keep this short. An American who works with the embassy waved me down. They are building a new embassy on the Jurys hotel site. He mentioned the earthquake in Turkey and told me of one that he had witnessed in Nicaragua, same thing, the town flattened. What did they do? They built the new town around 40 miles further down. It looked great I looked out over the lake and I noticed something very strange. No birds, No swimming, No sailing. So I asked. Oh Signor when they built the town they had on money over for a sewage system, so the raw sewage just flows into the lake. Imagine the troubles that are coming. 

Now tonight your clocks jump forward one hour..

Years ago I was at the Stakis Hilton on Earlsfort terrace, looking at the paper.

The porter came out blowing on his whistle like a station master, I moved forward from the taxi rank and before I got a chance to get he had thrown their suitcases into the boot with a wallop.

"Airport" said the woman, then after a block she said "Driver, do you think that we are fecking stupid? Stop driving round the auses and just get us to the bloody airport".

The proper way to deal with a customer like that is to drive them down an alleyway throw out their cases and tell them to fuck off. But I didn't. They were fighting  like 2 dogs growling at each other. We reached the airport and I pulled out the suitcases.

"I hope you allowed enough time for your flight" Corse we ave ya fucking moron.

"The change in the hour fucked up my day" What yo talking abaut.

"The clocks! they went forward an hour last night, "I still laugh at how his face went through 30 shade of purple.    

Now I have 3 clocks in the house that change themselves, when you change the battery they pick up the time signal and all the phones are clued into the change.

Still I like to think that it was Karma bighting them on the backsides

The Isle Of Innisfree.Happy St Patricks day

This is the song of the emigrant, full of longing and dreams of home

I've met some folks
Who say that I'm a dreamer
And I've no doubt
There's truth in what they say
But sure a body's bound to be a dreamer
When all the things he loves are far away

And precious things
Are dreams unto an exile
They take him over
The land across the sea
Especially when it happens he's an exile
From that dear lovely Isle of Inisfree

And when the moonlight
Peeps across the rooftops
Of this great city
Wondrous though it be
I scarcely feel it's wonder or it's laughter
I'm once again back home in Inisfree

I wonder over green hills
Through dreamy valleys
And find a peace, no other land would know
I hear the birds make music fit for angels
And watch the rivers laughing
As they flow

And then into a humble shack I wander
My dear old home and tenderly behold
The folks I love
Around the turf fire gathered
On bended knee
Their rosary is told

But dreams don't last
Though dreams are not forgotten
And soon I'm back to stern reality
But though they pave
The foot ways here with gold dust
I still would choose my Isle of Inisfree

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Richard Farrelly

St. Patricks day

So in a few days time it will be St. Patricks day. God bless you all.

A man from America told me that it will be nothing like it used to be as loads of Irish pubs have closed down in Boston, so I told him the news that I heard in Blackpool, In a pub called Albert and the Lion, they are closing 1,000 pubs. If they do not do this the entire business will fail.

It is a huge number for sure but if you imagine a ship in heavy sea with a heavy cargo. The captain has to jettison cargo to stay afloat.

Weatherspoon pubs are up and down the country, they provide cheap meals and cut price drinks. Tim Martin is its founder and when he was at school one of his teachers said that he was useless and he should leave school and get a job as a lorry driver, so he looked at him and said "OK Mr Weatherspoon" and just to prove him wrong he named all the pubs after him.

The guy who brought McDonalds to Ireland was refused a loan, he got going and lodged all his takings at the bank that refused him. Just to rub their noses in it.

Its not only pubs that are going, 2 banks closed in Ireland, the Ulster bank and KBC bank.

I feel sorry for the workers but I hope that they can re train their skills. 

One day I went to the bank to check on something. I was buying 2 cars in Japan and needed to make a transfer, so I went in and the teller looked at me with a sour expression, (I dress down as I don't want gold diggers chasing me ). "Put in your PIN number" There was around €40,000 in the account. Her face lit up like Time square on New year. 

Remember that money is a tool, use it wisely.

There is so much tragedy in the media that I feel like unplugging myself.

A titled lady and her baby a few weeks old went on a rampage together and the hunt started, around 2 days later they were located with no baby. After another 48 hours the body of the child was found. Madness by any standard.

Here is a story that I will share with you. If you know an adopted Chinese called Andrew you can tell him.

The mother was crying and her husband was consoling her. They had a new buggy and the child was dressed in new clothes as well. The mother had a bag filled with bottles nappies and spare clothes.

Only when we reached our destination did the enormity of the situation hit me.

Andrew was to be handed over to his new parents.... The poor mother was sobbing from the depths of her soul, she stroked Andrews cheek before she brought him into the adoption society.

Andrew no child was ever loved more than you.

Stanley Holloway - The Lion And Albert

Money Money Money Money Makes the world go around

 It would be easy not to read the small print and borrow until tomorrow.

But   

Never use a credit card use a debit card, that means that you live on money you have.

If you go to America you will see folks in their 70s and 80s packing groceries in Wallmart.

These people have lived all their lives on credit cards and now they have to work or they will loose their houses. When they die the bank will take their homes and their kids will have to bury them. So live within your means whether you are on €100 a week or €1,000 a week like me.

This advice came from the greatest celebrity I ever met. Chuck Feeney the man who made $8 billion and he gave it all away. (Google him)

When I was young I borrowed £800 to buy a car and the interest was 5% or so the bank said.

My dad looked at the paperwork and told me that I had been conned.

How so ?"they gave you £800 and they added on 5 years interest and divided the total by 60 That is more like 40%. 

Number .1 On the day you borrow the cash you don't owe 5 years interest.

Number 2 when you make your first repayment you no longer owe them £800.

Go back down to the bank and deal with it."

So the bank manager told me that there was nothing I could do as I had signed the papers.
The local schoolmaster overheard it and he said "What happened to the cooling off period"?

There was a bit of verbal table tennis between us and in the end I got a term loan at the same 5% rate.

There was hell of a difference at the end of the day.

The other one I have mentioned before. It has been around before and it was called 

"Seniors money" 

They give you money against the equity on your house and you can have a wonderful holiday, no need to worry about paying back.

So I got some practical figures from my Blackpool landlady.

Her mum died in 2011 and that was when they found out about the £15,000 borrowed on equity release. The company was Aviva and my dad needed to sell the house to move  closer to her daughter. Aviva added an £8,000 penalty clause as the dad had not got a medical cert to say that he needed support. It went on and eventually the reached a penalty of £6000 and would not budge any further. Remember there was no mention of this in the small print,

The house was valued at £80000 and the finally sold it for £77500

Aviva took their money and all that was left was £16,000

Anyhow this is stone cold facts.It was much worse than I had hoped.

Talk to your parents and give them a small allowance if they need it.

Its a really tough lesson

Back at last

I am back in Ireland after visiting the Worlds biggest magicians convention.

It really is massive with the worlds biggest stars of magic preforming and giving talks.

There was around 150 magic dealers selling cards, videos and props.

Ryaniar to Manchester and a train to and from the venue.

Blackpool itself is very much on the decline with many homeless and addicted people going round.

With all that is happening in the world I would have been happier not to go, but it was booked 8 months ago.

God bless all the people affected 

Close-up card magic with a twist | Lennart Green

Three of Clubs by Juan Tamariz