Friday, March 30, 2012

Whats going on ?

I think these 2 guys must be taxi drivers








Wednesday, March 28, 2012

ACTING THE GOAT.



I thought I had died and gone to Cuba. Imagine made in 1941 and still going








She got into taxi and another woman said to me to tie her belt and bring her home.
It turned out to be a €6 fare but an interesting one.
Her pal had suggested that they go to the Phoenix park for a picnic.
She had lost her job through "Acting the goat" she had seduced the senior partner in the practice and was now out of a job. Her Friend had brought 5 bottles of Italian wine and they had polished them off between them.
She had had a right skin full and she felt an awful headache coming on when she reached her house.
I told my son about it,he is 19.
His reaction was very mature. He thought that the senior partner being the older and more responsible person involved in the affair should be the person to be punished.
A good point.

Taxi drivers taking detours is another one.
A lady working for our television station in New York got into a taxi who brought her on a grand tour, arriving at her hotel with €65 on the meter. The cost should have been around €20 to €25 so she told the driver that she was from Dublin and that this was the route he had taken. She had written down the complete journey.
She then told him that she was calling the police to allow him the chance to explain the route he had brought her on. The taxi driver took off without being paid.
On checking the taxi out in her office she found out that the roof sign and number plate did not match. A bogey taxi.

The airport has supposed to have all kinds of cameras and scanners in place to stop such things from happening.

This morning a lady told me that she asked a driver to take her to St Stephens Green.
He didn't know where it was so she asked him to pull over to the kerb and got out.
When she was on the footpath she screamed at him that she was sick and tired of illegal taxi drivers posing as qualified drivers.
Good on her, the car drove away.
She wished that she could be sure that her daughters could be safe when they go out at night.
There once was an all female taxi company called Angels cabs but it broke up I hear because you cannot specify one gender over another,
Another lady in Sandymount told me that she got into a taxi on the North Strand and asked him to turn left to go over the Sam Beckett bridge. "Who's driving you or me" he drove straight on and she told him to pull over. "Who ever pays the piper calls the tune, smart arse. Now off you go"
She said she didn't pay.

Every day you hear stories of taxi drivers ripping off tourists, its a world wide thing.

Nice to hear the odd one getting their come uppence




Laladies bras hang from the telegraph wires in Inchicore.
A fundraiser to make money for breast cancer research.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Spring forward



Spring has sprung and the bird is on the wing !

My tree bloomed around 2 weeks ago in all its majesty and tonight the clocks will spring forward one hour







The TV mast at our national broadcasting station

I was reminded on the radio that today is the birthday of Robert Weiss
24th March 1874, he became the most famous magician ever as Harry Houdini.
He took the name from the French magician Robert Houdin.

When I was in Boston I was staying in an anexe of a hotel on Beacon St. Just before dawn I felt something scurry across my chest. I caught and crushed a fair sized cockroach.
Not being used to 8 legged bedfellows I got up and went for a walk towards MIT crossing the Charles river, on the way back I saw a plaque on the railings.
Harry Houdini made his amazing escape from a locked trunk on this very spot.
Harry tells the story about the trunk being dropped into the Charles river and crashing through the ice, with his lungs bursting for air he emerged from the trunk into the freezing waters. But he had drifted away from the hole in the ice, but just before he passed out he heard his mothers voice calling to him, he swam towards her and found a pocket of air, taking a big breath she called him again, he swam towards the voice and at last just before he expired he was pulled to safety.

Nice one Harry, take a look at the date not muxch ice in May!




Another good one was when he was visiting a new town and he was due to meet an associate in a tea shop. The guy came in late and said to Houdini that there had been an awful train crash down the road. Harry jumped up and ran off to see for himself.
The headline on the evening paper read.
"Houdini survives horrific train wreck"

I have 3 books on his fasinating life

Just thought I would share that with you.

Now go and put that clock forward.


The only thing I can say is that I hope they are carrying organ doner cards

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Dying wish

Think of this.

You have reached the end of your life and you are asked at the end of your days what are your greatest regrets?
The lady then wrote this down while she worked in a hospice in Australia, then she wrote a blog which had millions of hits.

Then it became a book."Regrets? I have a few" by Bonnie Ware

So what would be your regrets ?

I bet you don't wish you had played less golf.

So the top 5 regrets of the dying are.

1 I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. (All those unfinished dream projects)

2 I wish I hadn't worked so hard. All those all night shifts which meant that the kids were not brought to football.

3 I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. All that silence so as not to cause upset.

4 I wish Ihad stayed in touch with my friends

5 I wish I had allowed myself be happier. Being happy is a choice.

So armed with this I want you all to start living, like every day is your last.

Then some day you will be right.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Fire causes delays



When I saw this ad I thought .
What are they selling?



A pony makes its way to the market in Smithfield.
This market has been banned at present.



Well I am still here and still farting about!
My life seems to have lost its rudder at present.
I work to pay the bills and then I work again.

Hi Ho, I owe, so off to work I go.

I had a lucky escape the other night. The lady lived in Portabello and was a bit vague as to exactly where she lived. Lenox st. No cross the bridge to Rathmines rd. Into Grove Park, out on to the canal again, turn right then cross the road again.
I turned into where Taylor signs used to be when I heard a mighty crash.
"Mind the chain"
Some arsehole had put a black chain across the parking area and it almost broke my windscreen.
I have had all the small scratches taken out of my paintwork for the NCT and I was seething with rage.
I imagined that there would be scrapes along the bonnet of the car and a cracked windscreen.
She paid me and took her 50 cent change and got out.
The second I started to reverse I saw my problem.
If I had damaged the paintwork driving in, the chain would do more damage while I drove out.
So I turned off the engine and got out for a think.
Eureka! I wrapped my jacket around the chain which lifted it above the car and as I went back the coat slid down the bonnet (OK hood)
Very little damage done (Someone is looking after me)

Today the Luas is not running into the city center from Tallagh,it stops at Heuston.
There was a fire near Benburb St. and they are afraid that the damaged building is going to fall on to the Luas line.
So this morning I got 2 guys from Mauritius going to Ballymount, they didn't understand that the Luas would have brought them to work. It was the other direction that was affected.
Still they were happy to be on the move.
Then when I came back into Heuston station there was a line of taxis way back. So I drove past them. There was a hold up at the top of the queue, people taking one or 2 taxis at the head of the line and waiting for the cars to move up. Instead they should take 6 cars and be waiting for the next 6 to pull up.
So I drove around the block.
When I rejoined the taxi queue Joe came up to me.
"You are one lucky bastard you are, you drove past the queue of taxis in the bus lane and one minute later a police car with a camera in the back drove past us all.
We will all be fined."

One other thing that happened was a girl who had come back from Australia was in the taxi and when she got into town she handed me €24 for a €12 fare and told me to keep the change!
I know what happened. click here In Oz the $10 is blue.
In reality I am annoyed because she was getting out against the lights so even if she had left me short I wouldn't have been able to check it.
Though she lives somewhere close to me, if I see her before she goes back she I will return it. If not I swear it will go to a charity.
She is 9 years in Sydney and said that it would be a very hard place to leave.

I do believe that God tests you.
You find a wallet stuffed full of money, you drive to Foxrock to the address on the driving licence.
There is €400 inside.
You knock on the door and the woman of the house comes out.
"I found this in my taxi,I thought you would like it back"
She takes it,looks inside, counts the money and closes the door in your face.

No thank you, no reward.
But are you are honest the next time ?.

I once returned a wallet by registered post with £600 sterling and around £500 Irish.
Yes folks Punts, real money
I thought I had taken enough for postage only to find that it cost me around £2 extra to post it.

I never even got a thank you.

But I know that things will come around, his fortune will turn and the Gods will remember his mean spirit, it would have only taken him a moment to send a letter or to phone me.

Such is life.

Amazon.com delivered a new mains charger and battery for my camera today.
I mislaid my charger on the trip from Blackpool, so no photos of the big St.Patrick's day.

This is the product they were selling !

Friday, March 16, 2012

After the big parade

So St.Patricks day has been and gone for another year.
As they say on the t shirt

"What happens in Dublin stays on facebook"







On this holiday you have to arrange yourself so that you are well rested.
Then as you head out you will find people heading into town, after the parade they are milling around to get home again. Then later on the people coming out of the ale houses.
This can be a really messy time as the people have been drinking from an earlier time and the are much drunker than normal by say 8 PM.

Anyhoo my first lucky person was heading for the airport, flying to Paris and on to Algeria.
As an Algerian she had a strong dislike of that animal which can be found in Paris.
A very difficult race of people they are.
She was flying to Algeria via Paris to adopt a baby son.
The path for adoption is not easy and the paperwork is endless. One would think that the welfare of the child would be paramount, but sadly it is all paperwork.
I hopped about quite a bit and it took me a while to work out my shortcuts to avoid the routes which were blocked off to me for the duration of the parade.
So you hop from place to place dropping off as close as you can.
During the parade I went home for my dinner and had a sleep.
Then when I went out after the parade there were a lot of people who had been over indulging. "Drowning the Shamrock"

So I said to myself that it was time to quit and to live to fight another day.

But then there was a parade of Rolls Royce cars which had been engaged to bring a group of Italian tourists for a drive through the city from the Westbury hotel.
I had borrowed my sons camera so I hope I can post a few photos of them.
My passenger from the hotel was one the most awful people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. "Why are you going this way? We could have walked faster"
People like that can spoil your day if you let them.
Thank God that the rest of my passengers were normal happy people.

On Friday I met a guy who has probably one of the best jobs in the world. He drives cars back down to their clients from their service center in Northern Ireland. They service Ferrari,Porsche, Bentley and Maserati cars. I think he must have been working for Charles Hurst. He had ben at the Lotus and the other car factorys many times and had driven many concept cars.
What a guy, he reminded me of Jackie Stewart the racing driver.
So I found you this


Ha Ha


The last time I saw a TVR was in Traynors scrap yard near Moy Co Tyrone.
Hardly any damage to the car, a cracked windscreenand the passenger window broken.
The driver had rolled the car without a seat belt and had been crushed by the car.
Now the car itself would be crushed to end any possible distress to his relatives.

This week I went to see a lecture by the magician David Regal.
A working magician from California he lectured in the slickest fashion with quick quips and slights.
When you see a working magician who makes magic his living their actions and movements are so polished it is a joy to watch.
I suppose that is true of most professionals who are good at their job.


Speaking of professionals, When our taxi driver brought us to our hotel when we were in Blackpool he did a clever thing. This cost him nothing. But it earned him an extra job.
"What time is your flight? Will I come back here and collect you then?"
So he earned another £15 while the taxi rank was 20 yards from the hotel door.
So just by asking he got a job without any waiting time.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Great day for the Irish !
























Behind the Tivoli theater there is a car park and on the walls there is some fantastic Graffiti It is no accident that the college of art and design is across the road.

There was a line I read in a book a while back.
"When the pupil is ready to learn, then the master will appear"

I do look on the bright side of things and when he came he told me something which I will pass on to you now.
His father had had a heart attack and all his sisters were wrapping him up in cotton wool and keeping him inside doing nothing except watching television. He told his dad that he had a choice to live a good and normal life or to become an victim of his heart attack.
"Today you are in much better health than before your heart attack".
So he had the choice to live like a normal person or to curl up and die at home.
So his dad decided to come over and helped his son hang a back door and after that they went for a good walk with the dog. His life has turned around again because he has decided to live his life instead of just dying at home.

He then told me that this downturn in the economy will pass.

But perhaps it will give us something that is very valuable while it is here and that is time to spend with our families, time to fix all those things which are broken, time to cut the grass and empty out the garage. In short it is now time to tackle the jobs which have been waiting to be done and take back your life.

I do indeed have a list and the work is now in motion,as the list gets shorter you feel that your efforts have been put to good use and you feel better about yourself.

The last thing he told me was All THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU CANNOT FIX IT,MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU MUST NOT LOOSE HOPE.
YOU OWE THAT TO YOURSELF.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER.
THE WORST THING YOU COULD DO IS TO RELINQUISH HOPE FOR THE FUTURE,
ALL THIS WILL PASS.

Then he paid me and got out. So the apple trees will get pruned, the lawns cut, the gutter cleaned and fixed. The list is long and includes do my income tax

Just today my car is in getting touched up for the NCT and licence renewal.
I can't find the log book or the paper licence so there will be a big hunt on until they are found. I really don't know why you have to bring the papers in as everything is on computer anyhow.
(St.Anthony is a great saint for finding things)
So now I have 36 hours off to experience other things.

Cheltinham would be great1.

Talking about saints!

A certain Polish Pope had St. Patrick removed from the ranking at one time. But for once the Pope was wrong and we will celebrate again. Look here to see what's happening.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Ballymun

There was a film that came out around Christmas about Ballymun,I missed it.
It won a few awards.
This development was a hell on Earth for many years, built to relieve a chronic overcrowding in the city it was never finished. No shops cinemas etc so the people went wild.

Today it has been mostly rebuilt and the area has come on no end, but every taxi driver will have stories of the old Ballymun.

So try clicking here to find the film.
If there is a problem try again here to watch it.

Let's hope that from now on all the tales from new Ballymun will be posative ones.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

International Womens day


Moore St More like Baghdad than Dublin





This was on display in the RHA a few years ago, its super I think


What can I say.
Bless you all.

If women ruled the world there would never be any wars.

Just complete entire countries sulking for years.

Well it is said that you make your own luck.
Now this is not Gospel it varies according to the whims of the Gods.

But it is said that if you have a positive attitude you will attract positive things towards yourself and vica versa.
But if you are a grouch snapping at everyone, then you attract misfortune upon yourself.

One lady got into the taxi a few weeks ago and she was making a toxic brew for herself for sure.
She was a air hostess and I offered to tell her a really good joke.

"Look I don't want to listen to you. I am off duty now so I don't have to talk to you"

So she didn't hear a great joke and created a heap of bad karma for herself.

Then on Tuesday I was hailed by a couple who were having an argument. Instead of jumping in they stood there talking. I was blocking traffic and as the door was not open I drove off. This is a hard thing to do as passengers are hard to find.
Then just down the road I spotted a lady waving on the other side of the road and swung around. She was going to Baggott St. which was a good step away.
The first couple had crossed the road by this time and did not notice that I was the taxi which had abandoned them a moment before.
But the new passenger had a story to tell. Choking tears back she told me that she had been in another taxi and she asked him to stop the car until she sorted the seat belt out which was jammed.
The taxi driver just slammed on the brakes and shouted at her to "Get out of my fucking taxi you stupid bitch, if you're so thick you can't even put on a seat belt then I wont let you ride in my taxi"

So she was then thrun out on the spot.

She had his roof sign number and was going to ring the taxi regulator.

Well I didn't tell her that she was waisting her time.
The powers that are in charge of the taxi industry don't know or even care about anything.

It is a sad fact that in our modern society people simply do not do their jobs.

Still Spring is far advanced and the Flowers are popping up all over the place.
It was a really mind winter. Europe got minus 25/30.
No wonder they are still coming to visit our green island.


The Joke ?

Now if you don't want it read no further.

A guy was walking towards the airport and a young air hostess in a uniform he didn't recognize was walking beside him.

He decided to try a few of the airlines slogans to find out which airline she represented.
"Fly the Rolls Royce way"? BEA
"as smooth as silk" ?Thai air
“It’s the o-o-only way to fly.”?Western Airlines
"We’ll take more care of you"- British Airways-
"We’re National, the Sunshine Airline. Watch us Shine."- National Airlines

Just then she stops and turns around to face him.

WOULD YOU EVER FUCK OFF YOU BLOODY CREEP.

Ah now I know which airline you are Brianair.

Saturday, March 03, 2012

The King is back



















Ah the stone heads that adorn the arches on the fruit market in Francis St.
Someone once told me that they represent the features of the people who live in the countries where the exotic fruits came from.
The market has been closed for many years which is a pity.

Anyhow Francis St. is also the home of the Tivoli theater. Until the 10th there is a really good show on.

Kevin Doyle will be Elvis, the other guy singing in this clip is one of Elvis's origonal backing group.




Just in case you miss it