Friday, December 16, 2022

Happy Christmas

 So here we are with Christmas creeping up on us very soon. And like in the Bible people are crossing borders and finding no room at the inn.

My youngest son is trying to do the PSV test. The plan is that he will take over from me and I can go fishing, it is really difficult which is a bit mad in times of satalite navigation. But people are pawns to the mighty inspectors.

I met a wonderful girl from Iran, a very bright lady. She will go really far. Then I had a couple from Sutton. He had to be picked up at the Mater private and brought home. He was on a home health check machine and late at night the heart monitor went mad. On getting a scan he was close to death, though he did not feel that unwell. He had a stint put in and he will have more to follow.

They lived right beside the garage of the man who had been captured by the Japanese during WW2. He told me about the desperate situation that he had survived through. One thing that he told me really surprised me. "We were liberated and I was only 5 stone weight (He was over 6 ft. tall) My comrades started dying an big numbers, then a young psychiatrist came along. He told us that we have to forgive them. All the hate that is inside you now is killing you all. It was hard but I did it and I survived"

When he was stronger tragedy struck him a very cruel blow.

His entire family had been killed in the London blitz.

He was a hell of a sound man to take all that. He put in a request to go to China with some other soldiers, this was granted and he spent a week in China. Their guide brought them around and one day they were brought to a Silk market. He nearly died when he saw the silk. There and then he bought 4 bolts of silk and put them into his bag. Lucky for him he wrote down their names and addresses.

When he came to London he went to a dressmaker who cried and sighed at the wonderful silk. She had not seen silk for 4 years. He cut it into 2 yard lengths and in a week he had a pile of money. He ordered more silk from China and when I met him he was the biggest silk trader in the UK. He told me that he has a house in China and London and the house in Sutton belonged to his sister in law.

He was a wonderful man. He had forgiven his past, though none of it was his fault.

I have a book called "The knights of Bushido" By Lord Russel of Liverpool. 

It is still in print and it is very difficult reading about the war in Japan.

So I head off into the sunset.

Have a look for my book on Amazon The steering wheel university by Paul Malone

Download it on Kindle

See you in the new year DV

Monday, November 21, 2022

Panic at Twitter and Google

The other day it was so sad to see workers of Google and Meta loose their jobs.

I saw chains of people moving the contents of their friends apartment down the road to another apartment.

They are just kids with no parents to guide them, never having lost a job like this they are in a panic,I really feel for them. Imagine that you are working remotely just to turn on your computer to find that it has been wiped remotely and your job is gone.

Shocking beyond words.

Years ago I had a guy going to the airport, to the VIP area,

Are you meeting someone? I asked. No he said why do you ask?

No luggage, If you are meeting someone it would be a run back into town.No everything I need is on the plane.

He said he was starting a company in Dublin and he wanted office space for 1,000 workers to start.

I suggested 5 offices of 200 well linked together. I knew of a commercial property company which could help him.

But he would have to build. I never give my personal number, I just gave him a wrong number.

So what do you make in your company of 1000 people to start off with?

We make nothing John. We sell information. You are spies I said. He laughed as we pulled into the VIP area. 

What is the name of your company I asked.

Google he said. I never heard of it. But you will he said as he walked to his jet.

He was as polite as anyone, many of his minions they would ignore you when they get into the taxi.

They might even tell you to shut up.

Its a pity that I didn't take his number.

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Got my taxi taxed !

The motor taxation office has been closed for the last few years and there is very little information.

One of the lads noticed that my car was not taxed and he told me to go on line and do it,

So I found a number and I told the lady what I needed. She made an appointment for 10.00am.

So in I went by bus and tram. A half hour later all my papers were stamped and in order.

I gave the number to a bus driver I met outside and as I was coming out he had got an appointment there and then and he was coming in.  He was a happy camper for sure.

We have Saints for all kinds of things.

Patron saint of Ireland S.Patrick

England has St.George

Travelers have St.Christopher

Lost property St. Anthony

Hopeless cases St.Jude

I lost my credit card holder a week ago, high and low St.Anthony said 'Its where you left it'

No help that fella. 

So I looked for around 2 hours and then there it was on top of a box of business cards under a perpetual motion thing. Do you know that you can buy fobs that can track your car, your suitcase, and your credit card holder for under €20. 

Not a bad idea. I had one for my keys once.

Thursday, November 10, 2022

So the DHL delivery man is crossing the river

 So if he brings the fox first.

Then the swan will eat the grain.

If he brings the grain first the fox will eat the swan.

So he takes over the swan and goes back for grain.

When he takes over for the the grain.

Then he takes grain over he takes the swan back to the other side again

Then he brings the fox back over again knowing that he cannot eat the grain 

Leaving the fox and the grain together he brings over the swan again

When he reaches the house he gets a big tip.

An ancient puzzle

Sunday, November 06, 2022

A puzzle

 So a DHL courier was given the job to deliver a swan, a bag of grain and a fox to a very important customer. 

The road ended and there was a river. But there was a boat.

The boat would hold one thing at a time.

If he brought the fox first the swan would eat the grain.

If he brought the grain the fox would eat the swan.

He scratched his head and worked it out.

So you think about it and see how he solved his problem.

Its a golden oldie.

By the way that American lady came up trumps, I guess she just needed a poke.

So back to business.

My Son is sitting the PSV test again and let's pray that he is successful this time.

There are a lot of things going on with the tests.

People who pass the test who cannot speak English and other strange happenings.

Some African countries will not give a character reference for their citizens, yet they become taxi drivers

Sunday, October 30, 2022

Please keep your troubles to yourself.

 I know a lot of people, most people know around 300 people or less. I know between 2 and 3000 people because of my work. I once was asked to show an American lady around Dublin and every few minutes someone would come up. "Hello John" and have a few words with me.After the fifth or sixth time she asked me if I was a film star? I just said I know a lot of people.

A Philipena girl I picked up and in conversation I asked her if she knew xyz ? Yes I do, Do you know Pqr ?

Yow the hell do you know them ? she said.

I just replied that I know a lot of people. Years later I got to know one of these girls better. Her husband had threatened her and kicked her out of her house. She owns the house. Her mother looks after their daughter and she fled to Ireland.Over here she looks after elderly people in the home. She is a wonderful kind and gentle person.This year she has gained a visa to be here.

Have you got problems?

Her sister has developed leukemia and she has 4 kids.

There is no treatment without money.

Her wonderful husband just fucked off and left them there to fend for themselves.

His children cannot go to school as there is no free education.

We help them as we can with money.

But if you came into my taxi to moan about your problems

Just fuck off

Thursday, October 20, 2022

Lost mobile

I really never thought that this would happen again. 

Once upon a time I found a wallet with around £1,600 in it Irish and English money.

I tracked the owner down and rang him. "Take some money out to cover postage and post it back to me please"

After much discussion he told me to open the wallet flat and cover it in cardboard and send it to me by registered post as a book.So I took out £10 and went to the post office. I had enclosed my name and address and phone number with instructions to ring me when it arrived.

It cost me £13 to send it and to this day I have not received a simple thank you.

An Indian gentleman on hearing my story said this.

"Some people do not believe in God, and they do not give thanks.

Some people do not believe in Kismet. What goes around comes around.

There are others who do not believe in Reincarnation.

But my friend some day you will be passing a Chinese shop and something will catch your eye. It will be a waving cat and you will buy it and bring him home.A week or so later it will dawn on you where you saw him before."

It will be that stupid doctor who lost his wallet.

Stupid in the present world and useless in the next"

Well last week the word came that an American visitor lost their fone.

I went to the airport and parked up for a couple of hours. I had to pay €10 for recovery fee as well.

Detailed plans were made for its recovery to California and DHL were chosen for around €100 including insurance.

The call came today and the owner is delighted to have the mobile back and she is going to give us €100 "Reward" 

That would cover the courier not to mention driving over and back to the airport and time wasted.

The other part that is a thorn in my flesh is that she is extremely wealthy and my wife will not let me tell her that more like €200 would cover all expenses.

Anyhoo (As they say in Canada) I still don't see why we should be down money.

Friday, October 14, 2022

Something bad in the paper caught my eye

 In the Times a few weeks ago there was a tragic story which had a happier ending and another one which did not work out well at all.

Mental illness is something where treatment and diagnosis is the absolute key.

A boy showed unusual behavior as a young lad and the doctor fobbed it off, the lad got worse and as he became a teenager he became violent and struck his mother. It became so bad that he was taken away in a van with 2 strong nurses holding on to him. Through the following years he became worse, though little or no medical help was given.

As he deteriorated he was moved to a secure mental institution where he was kept in solitary confinement to keep other patients safe from him and vise versa.

Now when his mother came to see him he was so sedated that he hardly knew her, on other occasions he would plead for help. 

Then one day a knock came to her door, it was a Garda with bad news.

Her son had died.

When she got down to the hospital her son was laid out in his coffin. His face had an angelic smile.

The mother cried with relief and grief, her sons expression said it all.

The daemons inside him had been banished at last, a gentle happy smile on his lips.

A doctor  in a white coat came over to give his condolences.

"He just slipped through the cracks"said the doctor

No treatment just sedation.

How many more are there like him ?

The other story in the UK was heading the same way and they brought a court case against the local authority to provide care at home for their son, and they won, he was receiving inhuman treatment.

Monday, October 10, 2022


 In a small town in Donegal people were going about their business when disaster struck.

An explosion at the local store has left 10 people dead. One of the dead was aged 5 years old and she went into the shop to buy her mother a birthday cake.

It seems at this stage that it was a gas explosion, but they are still examining the scene.

God bless them all and say a small prayer as the funerals begin.

There is a donations box at every post office.

Friday, October 07, 2022

Monday might be a big day

 My son and heir is sitting the taxi PSV exam on Monday.

He has failed it a few times but he is getting over 80% at the moment in the tests on line.

When he takes over I will devote my time to other things.

A taxi driver I knew once who had allowed his licence to lapse tried to pass the modern exam 8 times and failed it before he decided to try something else. 

Tragic I say, with his experience.

So today I had a lucky escape, not in the taxi.

The fluorescent light in the computer room stopped working, so I took out the ladder and had a look.

But when I started to dismantle the fitting WATER came out! I drained the fitting and you could see that the water had shorted out the light I could see that the fitting almost started a fire.


So tomorrow its off to the electrical wholesalers. 

You know, thoughts wing there way back to me,2 stories from my previous life.

An elderly lady asked me to look at her portable phone which was Kaput.

So I diagnosed a worn out battery and replacement batteries were £6.50

She blew a fuse and told me that her nephew had fixed it for £2.00

She was lucky her assistant was there when it went on fire, portable phones need rechargeable batteries .

She listened to me after that. 

On another job I gave the lady of the house a price for a security system, she rang me and told me that her husband had decided that they did not need a security system as they had burglar proof windows.

We were busy anyhow and a few weeks later the call came in."Please come ASAP"

It turned out that the Gurrier who robbed the house threw a gas cylinder through the bay window.

The husband was more upset about his model car collection being taken than he was about her jewelry being taken that the next time I was there they had divorced.

The Beatles Story: In Their Own Words | Part One

So for something completely different.
The Beatles were a watershed in popular music in the 60s
So I found this and I hope you enjoy it.
In one part Paul talks about a tune coming into his head. He hummed it to everyone and they all said that they had never heard it before, weeks later while on holiday in Portugal the words came to him and it became the biggest hit that the Beatles ever had. Wow!

I can't get the computer to drop below the clip.
So enjoy 

Saturday, October 01, 2022

John McDonagh

 A New York taxi driver came to Dublin and preformed his one man show.

Although I had been to the dentist and had had 5 teeth extracted I went to his show.

John had a blog and when I went to New York I appeared on his radio show where we chatted about how easy NY is to navigate(Ist Ave 4th Ave etc) in comparison to Dublin. The show covered a vast array of subjects. A bit like Joe Duffy on speed. When I went back to my hotel the porter had listened to the show and I was a celebrity.Anyhow John drove a taxi for 40 years and the show about those years is really slick.

He explained all about the Yellow Cabs and the medallions. Like a taxi plate the medallion was issued by the city by auction. If you had $1& 1/4 million you could buy one and have 2 drivers working the car.

But the numbers were limited and the pay for the drivers was dropping every year.

John told us that the horses in Central Park were looked after better than the cab drivers.

Then one day UBER arrived and the search for a cab was solved. Drivers were no longer at the mercy of the garages. The got out of bed, hopped into their on cars and turned on the app and hooray.

The Russian mafia owned the plates and they were not happy to see the price of the medallion fall to $20,000 and still falling.

Here is a link

Bur if you google him he is all over the place

Just so you know taxi licences were limited  in Ireland and got a value of more than £90,000 until a taxi driver took the government to court as they had created a monopoly. The cost went down to £1,500 which is when I bought my first taxi. 
 I don't know where the show goes next. But it is well worth a visit

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Just like fishing

 Driving the taxi is just like fishing,you go to your favorite spot where the fish always jump and nothing happens, you wait and then you finally admit defeat and you move on. After cruising around you head for a train station, which is dead as well.

So finally you head for home ween you spot a good job.....Going to the airport €24 Yippee.

He was from Rome and I told him about the wonderful design fault of the Maserati quadroporta.

The air filter is inside the front left wing and to change is a few hours work and the mechanic doesn't do it.

The amazing thing is that a service costs  £1,000 ouch !

Then when he was getting out I told him that I once nearly bought a classic Fiat car once.

What model?   I think I told him the wrong model it was a Topolino. It was garaged for its life and the owner had died. Sight unseen I offered him €2000 and told him that I would be down to Cork in the morning,

My wife overheard the conversation and threw a big bucket of cold water on my plans.

So I found out the next day that the car was worth €12,000 in good condition and the one I missed was driving and ready to go WOW

So my dashcam was giving me problems and I brought it to Mr. Fixit and he said that it is Kaput.

I found another dashcam in the kitchen and wait for it.

It films forwards and inside with LED for the internal camera. A third camera can be fitted to the back of the car. That is not all. The camera is linked to the internet which records your speed, time and date.

As if that was not enough it records your GPS position.

Around an hour after I found it I remembered that an ex.friend of mine had asked me to order it for him. Then when it came he decided that he didn't want it after all.

He bought a much cheaper camera and it has missed 2 chances of helping him.

So get a dashcam When that car comes across the road and hits you.

Remember to unplug the camera and wait at least 10 minutes before taking out the chip. Take it home and one of your children will copy it in to your computer.

So the dashcam I now have is called a Zenfox.T3

Once upon a time I was turning right and a car shot up and T boned me. He was ranting and raving and I put in a claim to his insurance company. They rang me to tell me that I was at fault so I should pay.

So 6 months later I had my solicitor ready and went to court. The other party had photographs and drawing of the area.(before dashcams)

Traffic lights had been erected at the spot in the meantime. He stated that I had cut across the junction while he had a GREEN light. As my solicitor sat down I told him that there was no traffic lights there at the time..

My man stood up again and asked him if his light was green? Are you are sure of that?

Then you are saying that my client went through on Red?

You are sure of that?

There was no traffic lights there at that time. You are making everything up.

I got paid in full.

Friday, September 23, 2022

Back from Portugal

 I told my lady wife that I had seen the running order for the Blackpool magicians convention held next February and that I had booked a place for myself.

"What? you are going to Blackpool while I have not been away for 3 years"

So 10 days in Portugal were put on the cards. We went 5 star as we needed to be pampered. We were extremely lucky as the day before we were due to fly out the airport had a computer melt down and more than 2000 people were sent away. This is why I really don't like the stress of flight travel.

Out and home again went like a dream, the sunshine helped. We had a fantastic lightning storm on the second last night, 3 hours of Gods fireworks.The only down part was killing 2 big cockroaches in our apartment. One of the staff said it was a really big one. I told him that I heard him dragging out the frying pan in the kitchen to cook his breakfast when I got him.

All the people speak Brazilian.

So I went to Aldi and I had just packed my groceries into the boot when this pair of drug addicts asked me to bring them home.

Look I never judge them, another time and place we would be playing opposite rolls. They were going to a sheltered apartment and on the way the man directed me to their drug dealer. While we were there and the husband was doing business the woman told me that this month is really hard for her as her special needs daughter died this month a few years ago.She was just 21.You could tell that it was death by misadventure by her tone.

You do know that I wrote a book complete with 3 spelling mistakes?

"The steering wheel university By Paul Malone". On Amazon

Not my real name.My name was changed to protect the guilty people in the book.

There is a story in that book that I told to a guy in the taxi who said. "If I lived to be a thousand I never would have thought of that" He came on TV that night and thanked me for my service.

Saturday, September 03, 2022

Dublin Can be Heaven

Noel Purcell, that will bring the old memories back for sure.
So I was clipping back the front hedge when a lady with a broken arm was passing by. I knew her for sure but I could not recall from where I knew her. So she told me. She had been looking after her elderly mother. The mother had died and her 2 sisters had turned up to the house and started stripping it out.
The mother was dead so they were taking their share of the house ! The bitches never lifted a hand to help her when she was alive and now they had come to sell the house which was my home for 62 years.
She told me that she had to give up her job to look after the mother, she never thought for a minute that they should go and make a will, so that the person who looked after the mother would herself be looked after.
There was a drawing which used to hang up in solicitors offices. It depicts a cow and each side is pulling at it, one end the head, the other side is pulling at the tail end.
And there sitting on a stool with a bucket milking away is the solicitor.

My wife has gone stir crazy. All this covid and monkey pox has driven her mad and she needs to get away
so we are off to Portugal for 10 days. For myself I would prefer to work as I have missed so much time with the changing of my car.
The world comes to me every day, The other day I met a girl from Kazakhstan, I had to look it up as well. It is south of Russia and it borders the Caspian sea. It is roughly the size of India.
A sallow complexion with a hint of Chinese features.She has a doctorate in Political science.

I met a girl from Tierra Del Fueago which is the tip of South America and once 2 fascinating ladies from the North Pole. I only once had a native American Indian.

Anyhow have a good life.

Monday, August 29, 2022

New glasses, so what?

 So I went to the smaller opticians beside SpecSavers.

I tried to make an appointment 3 times !!!!! I think the lady in the shop doesn't like people ?

Then I got a leaflet from SpecSavers with special offers, so I went.

The smaller opticians gave me 2 forms to fill in on different occasions with no feedback.

So I went to the opposition. Name ? Address? PPS number? 2 seconds on the computer and it was Go Go Go. There were around 8 opticians working, at least that is all that I could see.

Then I picked out the frames.

A week later I was done.

The smaller optician refused to test me because I was 6 minutes late for the appointment.

She said that I would be blocking other appointments. I bought an ice cream and watched while no one came or went.Oh well you reap what you sow as they say.

Years ago I had a right royal row with spec savers.

I got new glasses and they were wrong, really wrong and they refused to look at them.

When they were first put on I said that they must have the wrong glasses, but they assured me that my eyes would get used to them. 4 times I went back to no avail. I pointed out their warranty and they would do nothing to help.

I sent a letter to Spec Savers HQ. No reply. So I sent a registered letter. still no reply.

I had bought a new pair of specs and I told a customer of my predicament.`

"You have a great case for the small claims court. See that you follow it through"

So I started the ball rolling and unfortunately I let it slip to Spec Savers as to what my intentions were.

Come in Come in and sit down. Well I have never seen this before the astigmatism on your eye has changed from right to left to left to right.

He offered me a FREE pair of glasses to replace the 2 faulty pairs.

You know I had such a time dealing with them that I took them and went.

I should have demanded my €550 back in court.

Anyhow that asshole is gone. It is a big pity that the smaller optician cant get their act together.

Friday, August 19, 2022

On the road again

 Well it all worked out in the end. A different car with all the paperwork done ready for another year.

My son David will be taking over when he passes the PSV test. It is very hard. I know a guy who let his licence lapse and he sat the test 8 times and failed it every time before giving up.

So this week was Horse show week in the RDS where the elite horse owners of the world come to compete. It is a big event and it has been cancelled for the past 2 years owing to Covid.

There are a big group of Argentian ladys who turn up every year, they wear identical hats and look very smart.(Its a small world) 

Just so you know 1/2 of America seems to be here at present. If you are coming and plan to drive a car, book it in advance and compare all the prices through a website.AND before you sign for the car turn the video on on your phone and walk slowly around the car, the video will be time stamped as well. That way they cannot say that you scratched the car on return.

The new Prius is around 4 inches wider than the old one and on the second day I went to pull in front of a stationary car and I did not notice that she had her front wheels turned outwards and put a big black mark along the entire side of my car. I know that rubbing compound will take it out and I will be more careful in future.

Schools will be back very soon and I hear that for 3 kids going back the school books can cost €400. Plus uniforms. Someone I know went to live in Sweden and all the books were supplied by the state. In the UK books are free. But one girl from S.America told me that they got a Kindle with the books loaded for the year. At least the weight of that will not cripple the child carrying it around.

So I hope to get a few days work done next week

After I do my income tax

Sunday, August 07, 2022

The long running saga is ending soon (I hope so)

When I sold my old car there was a small Japenise doll hanging from the rear view mirror.

Years ago a Japanese lady got into the car and said Oh you have a Ko keshi doll. Do you know what it means? Ko means child Keshi means deleted. If there was a famine and all of the children would not survive a child would be sacrificed and a doll would be made in its memory.

I went to Amazon last night and bought a replacement as the other on had gone in the old car.

This is a piece which I had ready to go but somehow missed.

 Tomorrow I am f going up to Northpoint to have my new meter verified and sealed.

The new rates are coming in next month. It costs the taxi driver more than €120 to have the meter adjusted, then sealed and it will take 2 weeks to win that money back.

I did an airport run the other day and I had not moved the credit card machine into the new car. After a bit of delay she found cash and I had just given her the bag when a Welsh guy asked me where the taxis were.

Look says I, jump in. He was going to the Mldron hotel which is less than 1/2 mile from the terminal building. He told me how the taxi drivers do curse at him for the short run. 

"Thats life son" You should take the good with the bad. Getting out all he had was a credit card. Look son I forgot to start the meter anyhow so just put a few bob into the poor box the next time that you are passing one. I have to go into the hotel and verify my ticket to get out. He gave me £10 sterling. He was over here because his company looks after all the helicopters for air sea rescue and air ambulance service.

There was also a Brazilian lady from Meta and I told her the tale of a guy going to the VIP area in the airport. Turns out he had his own jet waiting for him. He was trying to establish a company here with 1,000 staff to begin with. What do you make? We make nothing. We sell information.

You are spies ?.  Well sort of.

You know he was as nice a guy that you could ever meet, not like 90%of his staff

I very seldom give out my phone number I just change a digit, even though he asked, I did not give it to him.

I asked him what his company was called?

The name of the company was GOOGLE

Thursday, July 28, 2022

I hope this great guys story ends now.

Some journeys take you from A to B. Sometimes the journey takes longer and stays with you for years. This is such  journey.

From the Westbury hotel to the Guinness hop store. OK

He started telling me his tale straight away.

I was an orphan and I grew up in care of the nuns. Only when I was 10 years old was I adopted by a German couple who took me to America. You have no idea what it was like growing up without a mother and father who loved you, no one to hug you and kiss you goodnight.

So this couple took me to America and I grew up there.

They were German and taught me the German work ethic, with the gift of the gab from my Irish side I was sure to succeed.

I came back to the orphanage in Ireland to try to trace my parents, or to learn something about them

I said that that was a very bad mistake and he said.

When I saw the place again I fell to the ground my heart doing 900 beats to the minute.

My wife and daughter thought I was having a heart attack. Little by little I recovered and spoke to the nuns but they could not or would not help me.

He told me his story.

I worked at a few things and around 18 I teamed up with a carpenter, we worked on a few projects together. Then we bought an old house and renovated it. We bought another and worked on that as well.

In the states its called "Flipping houses" after we had done 12 or more we each bought a house and we went our separate ways.

I found my niche and now I fit out offices!

No it is not so simple to give the proper fit out in today's modern needs.

It turned out that his company covers most of America and Google and Facebook were his clients here in Dublin. 

No bullshit he was the real article.

I had no email or phone contact BUT now you can get access to your birth records

I really wish him well.

We have had the hardest time from the church. There is a plot of land where they have found the remains of 800 babies many thrown into a septic tank.

At Guinness I wished him well and he gave me €40 and told me to bring his wife and daughter back to the Westbury. At journeys end I tried to give his wife back the change.

"If thats what he gave you, then thats what you get"

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

The madness will end

 Sorry I repeated myself again by mentioning Chuck Feeney a few times.

I am bringing my old car to a garage to have it serviced, there is a misfire in the engine, a new set of spark plugs should sort it out. Then in another week I am getting that car stripped, all the old advertising removed. 

Then there is a big job of selling it on.It is well worth while getting your taxi wrapped. People know that you are a taxi from far away and scratches are deflected by the vynal branding.

Never sell a car to someone you know. 

All the potential problems that one can bring you. 

I got the new car passed out now and now I need to have the meter sealed. 

In a day or 2 the new fares will be kicking in and my meter man can put in the new fares and I will be ready to go again I hope.

I brought my old car to a new garage for a simple oil change and to get him to look at a knocking sound in the engine.He rang me back with a list     ........A new back tyre...New wiper blades 4 new bulbs..

I went over and asked him if he was mad or if he would like to earn €100 by betting that all this is true.

He declined and I said that this is not the way to grow his business.

Oh well I will try someone I know to do the rest of the work.

Canadian Broadcasting corporation has a great series of clips on you tube about rogue garages one of the people is a qualified female mechanic.

One strange one came into all this.

We decided to transfer my wife's insurance to the old taxi, as my insurance company says that you can only insure one car at a time, great, cover for 2 weeks. Then when we went to extend it they found out that we were not insured with them at all !!!! We had left that company 2 years ago.Shock horror.

I was not insured at all.

So a little story of one of my eccentric customers.

He is in show business, very rich and lives in Monaco.

He had a meeting in London and went to his hotel to unload his bag.

The receptionist was on a private call, talking about the wedding etc.

He waited and then banged the bell a few times. 

Her reaction was to turn her back on him.

He reached over and cut off the phone. 

She exploded.

She sent for the manager.
The manager took the side of his receptionist.
Ok  Ok I will leave, but if I am charged for the room you will both suffer.

He was charged.

6 weeks later my good man walked back in with a few people behind him.

Do you remember me?

Oh yes of course we do, you are the rude man.
Well no. I am your ex boss. 
I now own the hotel.
Here are your resignation papers, you have 20 minutes to get out.

He turned the whole place around and had pop stars staying over plus a super chef who held gala dinners.
18 months later he sold it, and the profit was around 70% I have been informed 

I have been told that he has done that 5 other times.

Its a funny place Monaco. People hate to be there but hate to pay their taxes.

A sunny place for shady money


Sunday, July 17, 2022

Trouble with the regulator

 So I am waiting to have my new car passed out.

You or I would think that this would be a simple exercise, but it is not.

I filled out the forms and had the meter taken out of the old car and went to Northpoint at the time where I was told that I had no appointment. She checked the system and told me that I was wrong.

So I went home and made a phone call to be told that as I had not arrived that I have had my appointment cancelled and I would have to pay again??????????????????????????????? €195

Now for taxis the office us upstairs, I had all the stickers in my see through folder when I went into the NCT office downstairs. Perhaps the person downstairs should have asked me if it was a taxi? 

Then go upstairs sir.!!! 

I would let it all go but my youngest son wants to take the taxi over, so I can do that for him.

I remember the last time I changed over I had not taken the green stickers from the front and back windows, So I asked the new owner, but she had thrown them out, but found one in the bin.

When I went back to them they told me that they would print a new sticker and then (I kid you not) when it was printed they would destroy it and there was a charge of around €30.

There was a movie made years ago called falling down about a customer going berserk trying to deal with bullshit. I saw on my last visit a Chinese gent passing over his taxi for the NCT and they looked at his papers. Your insurance cert has expired, that is for the current year you need the new Cert.

He was stunned and he spent around 1/2 hour on the phone before going away. A new booking fee and a few weeks delay to follow. He showed me the new disc on the windshield, all fell on deaf ears.You or I or any reasonable person would test the car and then allow him to go home and bring the other cert back.

When the new cert checks out they could complete the transaction.

The Prius has a screen which covers luggage in the back of the car. 

The Taxi people would not pass out my Prius as it was not present in the car on the day of the test.

Would they let me bring it back in an hour?  No No pay again and come back.

Their theory is that in a crash the luggage could be launched into the air and kill the passenger.

Halfords sell a luggage net which works far better and is much more secure.

Here is advice that was given to me from a multi billionaire.

Live within your means and save a little bit.

If you earn €100 a week or a €1000 that is your limit.

When your spending goes out of control it spirals and you might never be able to get things back on track.

Don't get a credit card, they are handy. Provided that you can clear the debt at the end of the month. But never ever live your life in debt. In America you will see elderly people packing groceries at the supermarket check outs. They are working to pay off credit card debt and when they die the bank will take over their homes.Over here now the old reverse mortgages companies are rearing their head again. "Enjoy the equity of your home today" Then when you might need to go into a care home you have nothing behind you.

Remember your kids might need a bit of cash to pass on the grandchildren as well.

He said that if you read the paper and make investments for own future will pay far better than a life insurance policy. They take the profit and pass the losses back to you.

Spread the risk and you cannot go wrong.

On the hand he told me that if he was starting again he would be a taxi driver.

Look don't be negative, you can work when you want, you meet great people and it only takes one good idea to make millions. ( All this from a gay who turned out to be a Billionaire)
You know you have to put up with a lot of bad manners and I told him of an example.

You handled that badly. Stop the car and kick them out. Education is a great thing.

He was right, I did it 3 times after that. the second guy I threw out cried like a spoiled child and offered €100 on top of the taxi fair, Sorry sir education will cost you a lot more I said.

So on the bright side the Euromillions is €230 million on Tuesday next and when it clicks for me I will give Chuck Feeney a call. 

He is the man who gave away $ 8 billion. And yes I will tell no one

A simple idea he invented duty free shopping. 

Sunday, July 10, 2022

A huge jackpot

 Up and at it again.

A full 9 days with Covid.

I worked for a few days and now my old taxi is off the road while I prepare the new car for action.

My son is doing the taxi test and I will pass the taxi over to him when he qualifies. It is a hard test, so hard indeed that  a taxi driver who let his licence lapse went to do the test again. He failed it 8 times before giving up. Yes it is that hard.

One problem with flying overseas is your luggage. I had a lady from Toronto who lost her bag. No one in Air Canada or any of the baggage handlers wants to help her.

Welcome to the new reality. They just look through you she said.

This is why I will not travel for the foreseeable future.

Still the euromillions is €260 million, so I might go. Privately.

My hero when it comes to money is Chuck Feeney. He invented something very simple. 

Duty Free Shopping DFS. 

He decided that God did not give him the money to buy fancy houses or cars.

Secretly (until the day I met him) he used his entire wealth to help people around the world.

Mr. Obama brought out a law that you could not give away more that $2000 anonymously.

Mr.Feeny did not tell me, but I read in the paper the next day that he had used his entire fortune to help people to the tune of $8 Billion.

I wrote to him to tell him how wonderful his actions were and we stayed in touch for around 10 years. He promised me that he will guide me if I win the lottery.

There is a book about him called "The billionaire who wasn't" by Conor O'Cleary.

Look, you might think this is bullshit. But if you let someone know that you came into money your life will change for the worse. A guy that I worked with won £4.7 Punts and he had to go to live in America. 

I told him what a big mistake telling people was. But at that point it was too late.

By the way he was a really good person

Ok tell the family you won €6,000 and leave it at that.

Friday, July 01, 2022

Take time off now boss

 So I came home the other day and with a cough, nothing worse. In the morning I took a covid test and guess what? I have joined the club. Yes I am sure that I am Covid Positive...I am fine, just a cough and a bit of asthma.

I am changing my car and I need to have the meter changed over and do the many things that they ask you to do. While I was collecting forms at the NCT in Balllymun there was a Chinese lad standing to my left with a tester." No that insurance cert is out of date. Renew it and come back" He was shocked and it took him more than 20 minutes before he realized that it would cost him another €70 for a new appointment plus another day off work.

Any right thinking person would pass the car out and hold on to the paperwork till the lad came back.

These guys have no soul.

For myself they failed me for the luggage blind that goes on the back of the Prius. I would have had it in his hand in 20 mins. But no "Do not pass go and pay €70"

One hero was a neighbor of mine John who brought his mother in laws car in for testing. He worked at the airport and backed the car into the hanger, there he tested the emissions. All go with nothing to worry about.

But in the testing facility if failed on the emissions. When he asked that they test it on another machine he was told to fuck off.

But he worked at the airport and rang the head of compliance who asked to speak to the operator.

His attitude changed and the car was re tested and it passed.

They called in that evening and reviewed the footage of the CCTV cameras and proved that the equipment had not been calibrated for weeks. They were asked to bring back all the failed cars and re test them free and they were issued with a nice fine and the operator was requested not to be so cheeky next time.

John told me that he was very nervous going back but with a smile he said

"I guess there was no hard feelings"

Its nice when you can beat the bully.

Saturday, June 25, 2022

Rima Baransi dancing in Trieste, Italy with violinist Ivo Remenec [Horiz...

Well folks today my wife has caught the dreaded Covid. But I am still negative.
Saturday can be a strange day, with so many workers off your workload and pattern of work changes.
By chance I picked up a young lady going to the medical center in Smithfield. We spoke of many things and when I asked her where she was from she said Tullamore, a short while later I asked if she had foreign blood? Yes her father was Cuban,yes she was a looker all right that Latino blood was throbbing through her body. She told me that she was going to become  dancer. I wished her the best of luck with that.
I asked her if she ever saw the footage of the girl dancing? There it is now.
A couple going on a cruise via Barcelona. Lucky feckers.

Then a solicitor from Derry. My brother did law in Derry and after he got a really guilty guy off he gave up criminal law.
My client had worked in America and in different jurisdictions. It is a fact that the best case, totally watertight can be sunk by a simple error.
He had a case of incest and the daughter had had a child and now when his granddaughter was 6 or 7 he started to have intercourse with her. We had him, all the evidence and then in walked this barrister from the UK Sir *******. He requested that we move into chambers where he unloaded an atomic bomb on our case. The arresting Garda had not read him his rights before arresting him.
Case dismissed and no chance of arresting him again.
Its called double jeopardy.
What really annoyed the passenger was the attitude of the Garda who just shrugged his shoulders as if it was nothing at all.  

Boy did he have a taxi story for us all.
Coming back to Dublin early one morning at around 4 am, there was only a few taxis around and he noticed this guy hanging back, when the driver saw the suit and the briefcase he decided that he had caught his man and pulled over to him. Kilmainham said my man. Do you know where it is?
Sure man. and they set off. The solicitor decided to test him and closed his eyes. 
When he woke up they were in Naas. A hell of a row followed and rather than pull into the Garda station in Naas he went back for Dublin. The driver was very aggressive and as they reached Kilmainham he told the driver to take the lane way which leads to the Garda station. At this point he pressed the panic button on an app that solicitors have on their phones to give them instant Police protection.
He told the driver that the Garda station was his flat complex.
Then the fun began with the €600 taxi fair. 2 Garda just walked over and arrested the driver on the spot and the Garda rang him later to say that they had been trying to break this scam for a few years

I would say that the solicitor has a good few yarns to tell

Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Episode I -- TELEMACHUS Presented by David Norris

Happy Bloomsday
and anyone who has read it is a liar.

Not quite
But david Norris will give it a good shake.

Friday, June 10, 2022

Toyota Corolla commercial its a trap

.I just saw that this bit did not publish, so I published it again. A good one for sure.

I am taking the whole day off while I prepare to do my income tax and change my new car into a taxi.
Its not easy, for example the car has tinted windows and the taxi regulator says "Clear glass only"

Look if you are in Dublin and in need of a good car look at CT Cars Raheny farm Lusk K45 TX85
Phone 087 250 4409. Tell him that John the taxi man sent you.

That said there are moments while driving around which put your life into perspective and you then feel happy with your lot. A woman from Kildare got into the car with a mentally handicapped child going to a hospital.and after chatting for a while I told her about the blog and I gave her the business card which starts off with "somewhere over the rainbow"
God that was my husbands wish to have that song played at his funeral.
Then she sang the praises of her child who was around 12 years old, "They said that our son would be dead by the time he was 3. Look at him now"We adopted him and he is the light of my life.
Every day is a challenge. 
But she is a champion fighter and I hope that God will look out for her.

We have Covid in the house now and that means that we are not going to our granddaughters christening.
Well there is no point in spreading it on. 
So my son is on a died of toast, Pizza, Pancakes and anything else that will fit under the door.

Change of car.

 there is a rule that taxis cannot be older than 9 years old.

We got an extra year on account of the Covid. But the time is up for my car.

Fair play to my wife she scanned the internet and came up with a fresh Prius cx. Thats the one that is wider  and it has a higher back with extra boot space.

Lots of work to be done, meter out of old car and into the new car also loads of paperwork,

I need the rest I should enjoy the new wheels. I will get it wrapped and the old car stripped of its branding.

Here is something that you might not think of, but.

You need to put €100 away every week so that you can buy a new car when it is time to do it, or God forbid that your engine might blow. Cash is king so you have to be ready to jump.

This game is based on luck, like fishing. You have to look for the work and it could be anywhere.

I was at Connelly train station today and it was slow, so I crossed over to the bus station and in 5  minutes I was on my way to the airport. A €20 job.

Other times you might wait and wait to get a €7 job only to pick up another job worth €20 or €30 just like that.

As you might know. I have a waving cat sitting in my bay window and he passes good luck to me every day.

So I have very little to say. But I will be busy for the next few weeks.

Tuesday, May 31, 2022

John the wing commander RIP

 The old soldiers are starting to fall and I just got word that the wing commander has died.

We worked in the international telephone exchange when the phones were so different.

Once he confided in me about something that still haunts me to this day.

He was dropping a fare off in the middle of a modern housing estate and when he turned around to close the boot a kid of around 7 years old ran up to him and said "Please mister help me, take me back to my mother and father" Just then a man with a very heavy foreign accent came over and said to John that "he is always doing this" and he dragged the boy away.

John said that the boys English was perfect and the father had almost no English.

So he went to the Garda station where the Garda said that he would make a report and investigate the matter.

Later on John went back 2 times only to be told that they were still investigating.

Nothing ever came of it.

I feel Johns pain

I was heading to Heuston station turning into St.Johns rd. when I saw a carer walking with a mentally handicapped girl. As he stopped to cross the road and put his right hand over her shoulder and put it onto her right breast. She squirmed with disgust and without going to the train station I did a loop and went into the John Of Gods facility to confront the bastard. I spent a good 1/2 hour there asking for someone in charge, all to no avail. I wrote to them twice and I wrote to the Garda commissioner 3 times.

The only reply I got was a phone call 

"We would have to see the sexual assault before we could do anything"  

I hope he never gets a job with the murder squad.

The police here are hopeless. Unless you break the speed limit or the traffic lights.

But for everything else they are a waste of space.

John had one great story.

He was going from Heuston station to the 4 courts with a client.

As he went through the lights at Blackhall Place the lights turned amber as he went through.

A siren sounded and the Garda on a motorbike blocked them in.

Whares the fire said the Garda.

John said What did you say?

Ah Jesus he's deaf as well as blind said the Garda.

The passenger leaned forward and asked him why he had not stopped the other 2 cars which had gone through after us.

This is none of you fucking buisness said the garda.

The passenger produced his business card and said.

This is my exactly my business the passenger told him that he had an appointment with the attorney general in 15 minutes. Write your ticket or not but shut your mouth, you have not heard the last of this.

He told them to drive on.

John went to thank the passenger but was shushed for a second.

Then the passenger gave John his business card with the number on the Gardas tunic and the motorbike number. 

Now he is attached to this station. go there and tell the superintendent  what happened and he gave him an extra €20 to cover his time.

John knew the super when he met him from golf in Spain and he showed him the card.

Not again. Said the superintendent.

He lifted the phone and said Tell Garda Malone to come to my office now. 

There is no one dead but I need him now.

They were having coffee when the knock came to the door and this bull of a man thundered in. 

When he saw John he shrank 4 inches.

You have been given many many chances, each time the power goes to your head.

Put your warrant card on my desk and the keys of your motorbike, go down and change out of that uniform, we will be contacting you with the paperwork later on.

That was it, the monster was slain.

Monday, May 30, 2022

May 25/ 2008

 Time marches on for sure and now I find myself standing in 2022.

Why will I remember that date for so long? At the time there seemed to be nothing special, much later all was revealed.

An American guy at arrivals was asking each car in front of me something and then moving on to the next car. I was around sixth and the question?

Will you take American dollars? Yes ! Great, move up to the door and I will get the rest of my crew. A woman a boy and a girl all piled in. 

The next big bonus question.

Where are we going?

The K club came the answer.

I will show you the sheet so that you know I said. Its €80.

Thats $100 20 40 60 80 100 and off we went.

He was a really interesting man, he was playing with something, I thought that it was a game boy. No it was a Blackberry, the forerunner of the modern phone.

Thought I knew him. But he assured me that he was nobody famous, I did not think that he was famous, but I could not place him.

Its a good spin to the K club and we talked about most things.

I told him about the drug addict who told me of a story worthy of Bram Stoker the author of Dracula. He had a note book and kept notes. Wow he said if I live to be 1,000 I could never have thought of that.

He asked ma if I had seen any movies lately?

I had seen 2 No country for old men and Traffic. Both films about drugs.

One scene from Old country he walks across the desert with the bags of money. What a shot I said.. Yes that was done with such and such a lens with the aperture set at this.

No matter how it was done it was great.

I told him about a shoot that I was driving on with a Japanese pop star. The director was the boss and he never spoke to his crew. He was God.

Princess Hya (The King of Jordans daughter) was the main focus and I was sitting on a bale of straw chatting to her, otherwise she would have walked away. I had no idea who she was.

On the was back the cameraman told me that the shot would never be used as the wrong lens was used. He knew exactly which lens to use but he could not overrule the director.

My man said a very wise thing. Movies are made in cooperation, each person has a skill and when they work together the best result comes around.

I told him about John Hubbard in the distant past. He is a casting director and we would go around giving out scripts. It was some job to get those lazy people to answer the door to get the script from us. The change from "What the hell are you banging on my door at this hour of the morning" and "Its Hubbard Casting. we have a script for you"

So we arrived at the K club. It means Kildare club

John will you come back this evening and bring us back to Dublin and then back to the K club?  No that would be 4 journeys for me and I would only get paid for 2. They have a beautiful limo here its a Mayback and that will bring you up and down in style.

If you measure one leg of the journey I will give you 5 times that amount. The biggest taxi fare of my life. No I am sorry Its my wife's birthday and she would kill us both.

I will just stick this bit in here. the $100 was given to a magician from Las Vegas to help pay for the operation of his baby daughters heart. I met him a year later and asked how the baby was. I am the person who gave you the $100 for her operation

"That was a wonderful gift I put it into a safety deposit box and I will give it to her when she is 18"
So that night he took the limo to Dublin and appeared on the Late Late show and was introduced as Stephen Spielberg. Where he gave me a special thank you.

He is a clever guy, if I had known who he was I would have been asking him about ET and wondering if he had contacted him again or I might have been lounge tied.

One little extra thing. He asked me what was my favorite movie was. Without a doubt it has to be Cinema Paradiso and we both talked about it. He loved it as well and he admitted that it was his most favorite movie as well.We both had the directors cut.

Anyhoo as they say in Canada.
The book can be bought or downloaded from Amazon
The steering wheel university by Paul Malone

Monday, May 16, 2022

Vintage Checker Cab Driver Interview

Hi folks. We are heading 1/2 way through and the tourists are back in town.
All systems are go.(I hope)
So I was too slow to stop a tourist being scammed yesterday. She came out of a hotel and asked to be brought to St.Vincests hospital, but she had not gone to the first car. The driver was reading the paper and as I tapped on his window to get out of his car as she had a suitcase, before he reacted the receptionist came out and said "Madame I have ordered you a taxi, it will arrive in a minute" and she brought her back in. 
This was at the Hilton garden hotel. The scam is either she receives  a backhander from a taxi company or it will be from an individual driver. Either way the customer gets overcharged. 
Perhaps the Hilton Hotel doesn't care?.Who knows.
It has been widely circulated that the manager of the King Sitric restaurant in Howth is encouraging patrons to take a ride to the airport in his special SUV for €60. But the proper cost in a taxi is more like €30. But the taxi carries public liability insurance. The other car is not insured to carry passengers for hire. But the police and the powers that be are refusing to act.
I love stories in which the people in charge have been warned many times of an impending disaster,
"WE knew nothing about any danger warnings" 
Then they are handed all the evidence. No hiding place now.

A phone was dropped under the front seat of the taxi and the owner made contact. Perhaps a 4 mile drive to bring it back. He took it back and said thanks.
Not 10c for my time.
C'est La vie

Are there angels that move among us?
An American girl got into the taxi going to Rathfarnham.
She was a special needs teacher working with severely autistic children, non verbal etc.
She was from New York and her children had just gone through confirmation and she was so happy for them. 
As well as New York she had lived in Hawaii where she adopted a stray dog.
How to bring the dog to Ireland ? It took time ,shots and money. 
Nearly $2000 to be exact.
I very much got the impression that she has no rich daddy behind her, so it was all her own doe.
She had been sitting in the assassins seat directly behind me and when we arrived she was paying by card so I stood out to stretch my back and then I saw her.
Such beautiful pale blue eyes and such a caring wonderful person.
I really believe that she is an angel sent to help us all.
I should have brought her home to meet my son.

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Jerusalem of Gold - Yerushalayim shel Zahav -Ofra Haza- with English L...

I turned on Spotify the other day and heard the wonderful voice of Ofra Haza. Her crystal clear voice rising like the lark on a spring day. I was enchanted and delighted.
Later that evening I remembered about a Jewish man who got into the taxi and I asked him if he knew Ofra Haza the singer? Oh my God what a voice and a really beautiful lady as well.
We will all miss her.
What do you mean, miss her?
Do you not know she died.?
Yes she died from AIDS, the sad part is that she would not take treatment in case people thought that she was sleeping around with many men. But the fact is that if she had come forward for treatment she would be alive today. One theory is that her husband gave it to her, the other theory is that she got contaminated blood after a miscarriage. 
So folks look her up on you tube and admire the gymnastics of her wonderful voice.
She was a great looker as well.

hings are coming back. At the traffic was backed up from Heuston to Lucan and the tourist buses are back in great numbers as well.Perhaps life will begin again.

Our pay rise has gone to public scrutiny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did anyone ask me if it was OK to double the price of beer,or fuel?
Its mad !
I had a lady in the taxi going to Rathmines aged.........................102
She was all there and a lively old thing.. I wish that I could be as good at that age.
A neighbour nearly made it to 103.She gave up doing the simplex crossword at 100 as it was "A waste of time"and she had a good death, she just slipped away, God bless her.

The only joke that I know about death is
"When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep.
Like my father did

Not roaring and screaming like his passengers!"

Friday, May 06, 2022

Where are we going?

Sorry I have just noticed that I published most of this story last week..

The trial of a mother is on in Ireland for battering her 2 year old daughter to death !!!!

Pictures of the child were in the paper smiling in her summer bonnet.

In the UK there has been 2 other high profile cases involving 2 year old children.

Perhaps the saddest one of all is the case of Verpy Kudi who was living in sheltered accommodation left her 20 month baby to celebrate her 18th birthday, the baby died of starvation and dehydration.It was said in the trial that the child had been abandoned so often that she would not cry out.

The judge was amazed as to why she was not looked upon while she was away, or why no one made any check on the baby in the time she was away.

Anyhow the mother got 9 years in jail, I hope she has time to think about her life, I hope she will be sterilized before she is released.

Anyhow I picked up a French family 4 people back into the city. The guy of about 30 sat in the front and he told me that he had lived in Dublin a few years ago. Getting out the lady in the back paid me and as I was closing the door she pressed a coin into my hand."This is for you"

10 Cents. Wow!

I said nothing, this has happened before.

What do you do or say? Sam it down their throat?

The best solution is to Say. 

Take this back I am so sorry that I offended you. Or just give it back and say you need this more than me.

I always wanted to go to Cuba and once we got a chance to go we went.

On research we found that 4 star is best as even 3 star rooms can have mold on the walls.

We stayed in a super hotel close to Havana and then we spent the second week at the Valadero beach resort. Then with about 4 days to go the maid who cleaned the room asked to be tipped, I said no and she said that she would be off when we were leaving.

As it turned out I had been talking to this Dutch guy as it turned out he was the manager, I was wildly impressed with the hotel and he shared his feelings with me of his first arrival at the hotel.

So I gave her around €20 tip.

Anyhow for the remainder of our stay she did not clean the room at all. I saw her chatting with the other chamber maids down the corridor. I could not tell the manager or rightly so she would be sacked.

I might wake up some day with the solution to that problem. 

Probably confront her with the manager and explain to the manager that you do not want her sacked but to be put on notice..

Life is a beach😡😠😵

Sunday, May 01, 2022

May day.

So we arrive at May day and lets hope that Mr Putin and his soldiers go back to marching around Red sq and leave Europe in peace.

I went up to Lidl and I spoke to a retired fireman that I met there and I asked him if he knew my old flatmate called Mick Shore. "A big giant of a man and a thorough gentleman through and through. I knew Mick well. He died a few years ago." 
Time passes.
At that time the milkman delivered the milk to Achill Rd where we lived by horse and cart. The milkman picked up the full bottles and when he dropped in the empties the horse moved on by himself to the next house, automatic service.

I had a hell of a good day the other day,the good folks were heading off for the long weekend and around 4.30 I got a call from an old customer for a short run. Everywhere hands were up one job after another 
In 3 hours I had taken in more money than in the previous fortnight.
Luck is what this job is all about. I never turn down a small job in the hope of getting a bigger one, more often you do a short hop and it puts you in line for a better job.

I have to rush now but I will be back soon,

Sunday, April 24, 2022

You never ever know.

 I have been only working half days for the last few weeks, so not an awful lot of news.

On Easter Sunday I cruised around and picked up a Phillapeno mother and daughter going to mass.

Her husband was a taxi driver and she is a nurse, making small talk I asked her how her husband was getting on with the taxi driving. She said that he was sick. "Covid" I said. No its Cancer.

The poor unfortunate folks. That cancer is an awful curse. It seems to hit the good people all the time.

The other job today was to the equestrian center in Ballyfermott. I didn't know where it was and we asked a few people.(Dr.Google was no help)

As we got closer he pointed me to a bus stop where he had been set upon by 3 men with batons. When they had beaten him to a pulp one of them phoned a girl on a video call. "WE got the bastard look at how we beat him" the reply came "That's not him you stupid shower of retards"

They just walked away after calling an ambulance. Nice people.

He showed me the bruising and scars on his body and arms and legs.

Then back to business.

Down from the equestrian center is the back wall of Wheatfield prison and an exchange of goods was taking place, when we were going back into town he remarked that he was only out 2 1/2 weeks and last week he got 15 mobile phones into the prison without damage.

The thing about this guy is that he will only live for another 6 months if he is lucky as he is doing all the running around and carrying cash and drugs and he is very expendable.

Now for the UK news

Another case where a little boy called Logan Mwangi was beaten to death by his mother stepfather and a teenage boy, his body was thrown into a local river.

The boy was on the list of vulnerable people


On 6 th of August Verphy Kudu abandoned her baby of 20 months for 6 days while she celebrated her  19 th birthday by visiting friends the length and breath of England. There was no one to look after the child. When she came home the baby was dead. The one thing that is strange in this situation the place where she was living with her baby was supposed to be supervised. 

Anyhow she will not be doing any partying for the next 9 years.

It is not much of a punishment for killing a child

Saturday, April 09, 2022

36 Years ago today

 My wife has the memory of an elephant, she never forgets anything. 

She reminded me that it was 36 years ago to the day that we moved into this house. It was the end of one story and the beginning of another.

Our first house was in Blanchardstown on the edge of a large public housing scheme and with a lot of hard work it was mostly paid off and we wanted to move up in the world.You can sell a candle or a box of matches you can also sell a house with no help from an estate agent. No internet back then, so we put a few ads in the evening paper, many people hung up when we said that the house was beside Corduff. We painted a sign and put it up on the embankment beside the house and a man came. "I've come to buy your house" (The kids later called him the cross man) Everything was put into motion to find a good house and we cornered one in Portmarnock beside the sea. Offers were made and rejected, while we increased our offer several times. No go.

Then we tried to get our buyer to pay a deposit of around £2,000. No he said. 

"Me word is me bond"

So I wanted to nail him down as he was moving from a corporation house and he was getting a grant.

I told my solicitor to take £1 deposit and he blew his top. My brother who is a solicitor in the UK told me that his purpose was to act on my behalf and he must act as per my instructions.So £1 was paid and we moved a step closer to the end. Two weeks later he told us that he would move in 2 weeks !

Back to Portmarnock NO GO ! A friend of ours who had been an estate agent told us to walk around the area day and night, there might be a drummer living next door, you only have one chance to find out.

Then on the way back home we cut up a road in Clontarf where they were putting a for sale sign on a house and the lady told us that she would let us see it on Monday. Viewed it on Monday, Survey done on Tuesday. We told the auctioneer that our house was sold and that we had been approved for a loan. So this was a cash offer.We could move in in 2 weeks another £300 closed the deal.

2 weeks later as we were moving out the phone rang and it was the auctioneer from the Portmarnock house to tell us that our offer had been accepted. Poor man was flabbergasted when I told him he was too late.

"You could not close a sale so quickly" he said. I said for him to ring back in an hour and talk to the new owner. 

I knew a guy who lived in the area and the Portmarnock house went unsold for a further 6 weeks.

Yes fun and games often backfire.

Monday, April 04, 2022

Caught myself out !

 Hello folks, nice of you to pop around. Did you get caught by an April fool gag? I fooled myself!!!

I went up to visit our baby granddaughter in N.Ireland the day before. Our roof signs are detachable and it is a 4 hour drive up and back so I took off the roof sign and put it in the dining room. There was a bit of frost on the windscreen in the morning which I scraped off and away I went, I noticed one or two punters putting out their hands and taking them back down again, I thought nothing of it. Then I got a job from Bolt and the customer seemed a bit reluctant to get in.

I got another 2 bolt jobs with the same hesitation before they got in. Then the bombshell came. Where is your roof sign? Back at home came the answer. But the final customer was easy with the situation, he was a part time actor, so I filled in the rest of the trip talking about what a great playwright Arthur Miller was. As it turned out the customer had acted in the Crucible. Arthur was never happy with his work, he kept changing and re writing again and again. I probably told you about picking up a guy at the Abbey theater once and I was raving about View from a bridge which I had seen a few months before. I was ecstatic about how good it was. Then he said "Thanks be to God that you liked it. I am Joe Dowling I directed it" I got a €10 tip as well.

Praise from someone who dosent know is true praise indeed.

Still when you see a great play done well there is nothing better, or a song well sung, done badly there is nothing worse as you sitting there knows knowing how great it could be.

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Spring Forward Fall Back

 They tell me now that this is the last time that the clocks will change for sure, but I think that once upon a time they tried this before and children were killed walking to school in the dark.

When this time comes around I think of something which happened many years ago.

I pulled up at the Hilton on Earlsfort Terrace one Sunday morning and started to read the paper.

After a few minutes the concierge started to blow his whistle like a madman. I drove forward and he threw their suitcase into the boot and slammed it shut, an English couple jumped in and the woman shouted "Airport". Really loud with no please or thank you.

As I was 10 minutes into the journey the woman shouted "Why are we going round the houses? I didn't ask for a sight seeing tour" I assured her that this was the correct route and continued.

They were arguing like 2 dogs growling at each other.

Plan B is to turn the car off the main drag and kick them out, but I didn't

At the airport drop off point I had their change in my hand ready.

"I hope that you have given yourself enough time?" I said

"What ya taking about you stupid cunt" he replied.

The clocks ! They went forward an hour last night.

You could see his face change as I smiled that Karma had struck a blow for free speech.

With fancy phones everyone is on the ball, though it takes a while to adjust.

A quick tip for the wise. You buy a new washing machine 3 years warranty.

Great then after 2 years it breaks down and you go for the receipt.

 Wow it is just a blank piece of paper. 

If you still have the credit card receipt ?  Great 

If not you would wish that you had photo copied the receipt when it was fresh which is what I do.

Friday, March 25, 2022

BOLT is the future

 St.Patricks day came and went with an absolute bang.

We had visitors here from all over the world.

I was visiting my little granddaughter in Northern Ireland so I missed most of the action.

The day after I was back in action and it was like old times, one job after the next.

I got a run out to the airport and as I was clearing the meter a Canadian couple came over.

Their story was awful. They were flying out and checked on the internet to see what papers they might need and found nothing.So they had a covid test and the negative result was sent to them by text !

Ok so they had the all clear?. No said the guy at the check in, we don't accept texts. So they sent them down to a far off spot to be tested. While they were waiting for the result they went back to departures only to be told that they were too late.So I took them to a hotel close by to fly out the next day. (At vastly inflated prices) I went to England a few weeks and I had my Covid cert at the ready and was not asked for it once.

Today I was working the Bolt app and its hopping, very busy. One job on top of the job you're doing at present.Apps have killed the radio cabs now for sure. One fault that I find is that you don't know your pick up point and your destination, you are shown on Google maps. That is Ok but I got a job to the Hermitage clinic out beside the Liffey Valley shopping center and the Google took me off to the left just before it. Which brought me to Blanchardstown and back. Being professional I stopped the meter and absorbed 2 tolls to get him there.

I did ask him where he was going during the trip but he told me that he was going to (the name of the clinic).

Still life is an experience then you die.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

March 17

Just a short one to wish you all near  and far away 
A happy St. Patricks day

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Feed the dove and starve the wolf

 With this war going on it is very hard to see the good side of anything.

There is an American Indian saying "Inside every person there is a wolf and a dove.You must starve the wolf and feed the dove"

The body of a wonderful looking woman Bernadette Connolly was found washed up on the beach at Blackpool recently. Her poor daughter was making pleas on Facebook and social media, it is heartbreaking.

Suicide is so hard on the people who loved them. One day a guy that I knew  asked me to come and have lunch with him.Three other people were present but he only asked me. I had popped into the wholesalers for supplys and the crew were waiting on me for the gear. I congratulated him on his big promotion to European head of operations and went on my way. 4 days later I was in the wholesalers again and the boss asked me why I had not been at Rorys funeral. He had gone out to Killiney and hung himself less than an hour when we had parted company. He was married to an air hostess, owned a fantastic house and no visible problems.

Years later I had a psychiatrist in the car and I asked him.

"You friend had reached the departure gate when you spoke with him. Sad to relate that even if you were trained to look for the clues it is very hard to turn them around once they have reached that point."

I went to the Samaritans once and I asked them to produce stickers for the back of taxis, just to get the message out there. At the time they did it. But with all this madness thats going on we need more

Feed the Dove and starve the Wolf

Monday, February 28, 2022

Back from Blackpool and never again

 I don't know if this post was published back in Feb

Most times when I go to this magic convention I come home whacked and say never ever again.

Until the next year around December when the names which are due to appear arrive in my email.

The names are big and the magic dealers will all be there. I spent £24 on props last year, nothing really.

I worked too hard coming up to the event and I fell asleep through much of the action.

So never again for sure. 

Flights were affected by weather and trains were cancelled both ways. The train to Manchester airport was cancelled and coming back was very chancy. But I got a train to Preston and from there to Manchester Piccadilly. No one I asked knew if there was a train coming to bring us to the airport. Then I asked one guy in uniform and he told me to get the tram! Where do I get it from? and he told me. No luck! I asked 4 people to find the tram, instead of saying they didn't know they sent me in a different direction. Then I asked a taxi driver and was finally on my way.

The tram was very slow. It took us through some of the most deprived areas of Manchester that I have ever seen. Shit! but the UK is in a really bad way.

I was in Newcastle a few years ago and I went into a bar to try the famous Newcastle brown ale.

The barman said I could have a small glass not a pint as it would "Blow yer ed off" He was right it was strong, so I had a few words with the lads at rge bar and not one of them had a job, they had skills in the shipbuilding and the work was gone. One of the lads pointed to a man at the end of the bar. "Ya see im dn dere E is a right romeo him he is a postman, a job, holidays. A great catch for the women"

I bought the 4 of them a pint and was amazed when I went outside to see that WW3 had broken out Police in paddy wagons with Alsatian dogs and clubs breaking up fights.

One thought always stays with me is of groups of 10 to16 year old ferrule kids running wild. I asked Nobby how come they are out going wild ?." These kids are dealing drugs. The parents are on drugs or they are alcoholics, or the parents just don't just give a shit"


So I arrived and had a sandwich and tea. Big mistake! I headed down to security and it took over an hour and a half to get through security. Bags were being taken from the front of the conveyor belt while others were being placed in a queue. No order to the method. An American lady standing beside me told me that her bag had been placed up at the back and no one was paying any attention to it for the last hour. 

Her flight was soon.
I saw these Zombie like people drop my bag on the floor and I exploded.

I let a roar which woke them all up and in a few minutes security and a supervisor came.

What's the matter Sir? Look into that guys eyes he is on drugs, stoned out of his mind.

This lady here, her bag is way up the back and she is heading for Hollywood.

He grabbed my bag and hers and started to whip his staff into shape.

The lady threw her arms around me and gave me a big kiss. What a wonderful perfume.

She was crying with relief as she ran for her gate.

I ran for my gate only to see.


So I ran for it anyway away in the far end of the airport it was.


The Guy standing there called me by name was glad to see me and he let me in. 

HOORAY FOR RYANAIR. (I thought that I would never say that again)

Covid saw a lot of staff laid off and replaced by minimum wage with no skills and no one to train them.

A young lad from up the road worked on cruise ships. A while ago he went back to work with no pay, The trainee staff will not be paid for 6 weeks or will the regular staff. But they will have a place to stay and be fed until they sail again. Now the BOSS has a salary as big as a New York phone number is taking a zero hit, the other big one was P& O shipping, they parked the ships and let all the skilled men go.

Many things happened, one thing in particular comes to mind.

The engine stopped and the novice crew rang for help to start it. It was a calm night, but the ship was drifting. No one knew how to start the engine..Panic. A tug headed out and if he landed a line on the ship he could claim it for salvage. But before it got there a captain was air lifted to the ship.

Big fines followed..

by the way I am paid up for Blackpool in Feb,

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Christy Moore "They Never Came Home" (1985)

Valentines day massacre

 This year it is 41 years since the disaster struck Dublin. 

Young people turned up to a dance in the Stardust ballroom.

A fire broke out and the fire doors were padlocked shut 200 kids were injured and 48 were killed.

The owners of the ballroom were well connected and they got compensation for the damage to their property.

No jail time or massive fines for them. For the survivors it has been a lifetime of pain.

A few years ago I was in Blackpool at a magic convention and a lecture was being held in one of the ballrooms. A few thousand in one giant room. When I went in I was in shock. No gangways and all the fire escapes were blocked because of building work. I had to go, though I wanted to see the lecture.

When I got back to Dublin I rang the police in Blackpool and was greeted with "This is not our job"

I said that she should ask someone to tell her about the Stardust disaster and that I have told you and if you don't follow it up it will be your problem.

The next year there were at least 3 fire safety officers going around.

I have been in many places where the fire doors are blocked with beer cases and rubbish.

Sometimes I make a call.You never know.

Sunday, February 06, 2022

Let the games begin

So it has come to pass that the 6 nations rugby kicked off and thousands of fans came to see Ireland beat Wales. Not a simple task. They are on a par with the all blacks of New Zealand for skill and ability.

So right from when I got up the ball started hopping for me. One job after the next. Wonderful after all this time.

But I know that Monday will be back to slow jobs. This is the nature of the job.

One poor unfortunate lady was Mary Hanafin, She left her return ticket back to Thurles, it cost her €43.98,it was stuck into the slot for the seat belt in the back. If I had seen it in time I would have brought it down to the ticket office and she would have had a great surprise. I am going on a train next week from Manchester to Blackpool  that is a fair hop. But if you book your tickets on you get a great price. Return ticket Manchester to Blackpool €22.64 that is nearly half the price. 

Still you have to keep your travel documents safe.There is heartbreak when tickets and passports go astray.

One day I was walking towards the gate in Dublin airport when a guy in front of me dropped his passport. I picked it up and went after him. He didn't even say thanks and then he dropped it again. This time I stood behind him at the security gate and let him sweat for a few minutes before I gave it back to him again. I told him that it is important to say thank you, what do you mean? I just told him that if I was a different kind of person I might have thrown his passport into the bin to teach you a lesson. He might learn some day. 

Good manners cost you nothing.

At the airport with an English man, €18 on the meter, he said "Give me a receipt for 20. so I wrote it and he grabbed it and ran off. I was shouting for him to come back. There was a Garda there and he asked me what the problem was. So I told him that the guy had not paid and just ran off and can I run after him?. No you can,'t. I will look after this, so he got onto his radio. 20 minutes later the passinger was 

was brought back by a Garda to the taxi.

You didn't  pay this man. 

Yes I did I have a receipt to prove it

Now sir the taxi driver says not, but we can go down to the police station and play you back the footage  from his camera and if it happens that you did not pay we will convict you for theft.

He paid €18 and then the Garda said the receipt was for €20, so I got the €20

I have missed my bloody flight thanks to you he roared as he turned to go.

The Garda looked him straight in the face and said this is all your fault, now be on you way and enjoy the rest of your day.. 

He was really boiling as he went off. 

The Garda had radioed ahead and the other Garda waited just as he went through the first security check, then dragged him all the way back to us.

There are bad days and great days  

Sunday, January 30, 2022

Sunday Bloody Sunday

 If you are Irish you will remember this day 50 years ago when a protest march of unarmed people were met by a group of British Paratroopers who without warning opened fire and killed 14 people.

In the British way no one was punished.

They had inquiries and one line which sticks in my mind was that the soldiers were 

"bordering on the reckless" 

Things like this prolong the pain for their relations who lived on.

Though the term Bloody Sunday came from 1920 when a football match was taking place in Croke Park.

A couple of Armored cars came on to the pitch. Facing the crowd who were now silent the opened fire with a hail of bullets.

That was in retaliation for a nights work from Micheal Collins.

The British had sent in an elite group of assassins into Dublin. 

Their purpose was to take out all the IRA leaders in one night. Micheal Collins and his gang killed them all in one night. 

So the Brits opened fire on the crowd at the match.

A man from India asked me if I had ever heard of the Vallanwala  Bagh massacre

In India Apr 19 1919 The soldiers opened fire as the people fled, some jumped into a well to escape. The soldiers came over and shot the people in the well. The British said that 350 people were killed.

The Indian government said that it was over 1.000 people who were killed,

Friday, January 21, 2022

Murder most fowl again.

 A poor unfortunate music teacher out for a jog after school was attacked and in murdered in broad daylight.

The Garda have him (We hope).But people do not feel safe especially women.

OK Enough doom and gloom. 

I did a few mornings, it was slow VERY slow, but I am healthy in mind and body so I will keep going.

On the brighter side restrictions are being relaxed and we can creep out from our hiding places once more.

The Blackpool magicians convention is a go. 150 Magic dealers and scores of the Worlds top magic names.

A few years ago I met up with this well dressed American magician and we talked for a while. He suggested that we stop for coffee, so we sat at a table and after 10 minutes this fantastic looking woman came over (Kiss Kiss) and sat down, then a second one even more beautiful. Then a third. Wow

I had to ask him what his Cologne was called? Why do you ask he said?

Its attracting the women like bees to the honey jar.

No John you don't understand I am Franz Hirrari and these are my showgirls.

In the trade showgirls are known as box jumpers.

A joke I heard a few years ago about Las Vegas.

A guy and his wife went there to celebrate.

They were going to walk along the strip and go for a meal.

His wife was very slow getting changed so he said that he would meet her at the entrance. 

On leaving the lobby he met a Goddess of a woman with an over exadurated bust and make up that would put any woman to shame,she caught his glance and she came over.

"What do You think honey ? Would you like to have some fun for$200 ?"

Sorry that is too much.

"Well give me an offer and we might do something"

$50 is what I would spend.

She stuck out her ample chest and said. This you will never get this for $50 and off she goes.

As they were coming home after dinner they meet again and the Lady looking at his wife says


Saturday, January 01, 2022

2022 Cheers

But I won  in spite of all that 2021 threw at me here I am 1/1/2022 are  kind of stuck by a bug we cannot see.

This reminds me of 1999 wen the Mellinium bug would strike and kill us all.

Computers would stop and planes would fall from the sky as the computers clocks would not recognize the 00 in the date.. But we survived. Just about.

Now the bug changes by the month, but most people who get it are fine in 24 hours.

Something seems the same about the big panic and the reality of the situation.

Folks my new years resolution is to stop doing the lottery. Today was my last day. 

But I won !!!!!!

A few years ago I checked my ticket on the scanner and it said "Its a winner"

First prize was 30 Million Euro..Happy days. I checked it again and went to bed.

The next morning I double checked it and went into the Lottery HQ with my bank details, passport etc..

"This ticket is a winner I said" she put it into the machine and said "You have won a ticket into the millionaire raffle". That was a non winner.

I argued with the young lady that it should say "You have won a prize" which is very different. 

But I digress

I won €45 with no 00000 following

A guy I worked with once won £4.7 million Punts

His brother rang me and asked me to come to the party of celebration.

I declined as I was starting a big electrical job the next day.

Months later I saw Terry (Not his real name) on Talbot St. He looked like he had been beaten up.I stopped the taxi and he told me how a shower of thugs turned up at the party he held and wrecked the pub. Then he was getting 2 sack fulls of begging letters every day.

The end for him came when the IRA (Or someone calming to be ) contacted him and demanded £1 Million or they would kidnap his nephews and nieces.

He went to the Garda and they told him not to worry that they would "Look after everything" So he asked them who it might be? and they said "We don't know.

So he went to live in the USA, in Montana and after around 6 years he came home.

He is a nice guy, too nice!

You have to have a plan B.

If you read this trash you will know that I met the most generous man in history once. God what he told me on the trip in from the airport would sell for thousands.

So who was he?

Chuck Feeney       Google him ! There is a great book

The billionaire who wasn't by Conor O'Cleary 

Mr.Feeney invented duty free shopping 

He decided that God did not give him the money to spend on a lavish lifestyle.

So he used his fortune to improve our lives, He built Limerick university, he invested over $1 billion in Irish education. He also built a 200 bed hospital in Vietnam, Cancer research and altzimers study. and all in secret. His office was on Baggott St.

So folks if you do win tell no one Not even the cat.

The only way I found out about Chuck Feeney was thanks to Obama !

He wanted to know who was giving money to other political party's, so he brought out a LAW that you could not gave away more than $1,000 anonymously

So I drove him to the press conference where he declared that he had given away $8  billion dollars

Such a humble man. I only found out who he was when I bought the paper the next day.

I know that he will help me to distribute my huge Lotto winnings wisely

But my new years resolution is to quit the Lotto.

But to the rest of you I wish you good luck and remember

The lotto is just a tax on stupidity !