On the road for another year

 The taxi licence is renewed for another year. Hip Hip Hooray

While we were waiting at the office I met Mr Robinson, a guy who has been in the business for many years. He is making electric taxis in his garage at the moment while he waits for the next adjustment in the taxi fares. Thousands of meters will have to be calibrated when that happens. He is also the main agent for the electric London taxi. This is the Rolls Royce of taxis.

On the way home I recalled to my son how I bought a Mazda X Garda Car at auction once, I got it at a good price and one of the guys at the auction told me that the engine was blown. I asked around and Robinsons were agents for Japanese engines at the time. IVI engines.

In and out on the same day. We had that car for 4 years and when we sold it we got more for it than we paid for the car and engine combined.

Here is a story you could tell to your passengers as you go along.

My wife is looking at her fone and is telling me what the weather is doing, its very annoying.

Back in the 60s my Daddy went to Blackpool with a few of his mates. He brought us back a box with a model donkey inside. It was for predicting the weather.

It was about a foot high and it had to be placed around 15 ft from the house.

If you couldn't see it it was night time.

If its tail was wet, it was raining,

If it was dry it was not raining

If the tail was moving around it was windy

If the tail was still there was no wind that day.

Then one day it was lying on its side and the instructions read EARTHQUAKE

RENEWAL TIME HAS COME AGAIN

 Its the little things that catch you out.

To renew your licence you have to have a tax clearance cert.

Then fitness for the road NCT

Followed by motor tax.

Taxi insurance etc. etc

On joining you would have to be vetted by the police. One taxi driver is facing prison at present.

It is said that he raped 2 girls and before he got his taxi licence he was found guilty of raping a 7 year old child. What kind of a vetting process did he go through?

My first taxi licence was Cxxxx and my present one is Jxxxx. When we first qualified there was a rule that you had to be unemployed and there was a bit of a limit to the licences issued.

A friend of mine bought a taxi plate and he handed it back in stating that he could make no money at all. A few months later he saw his plate on a new car being driven by the Garda from the carriage office. He stormed into the office and was detained until he cooled down.

The rules are loose for some and strict for others.

When you are driving along its great to share a joke with the passengers,

"I got a puncture the other day and went to a tyre place. He fixed it in a few minutes and charged me €25. I thought it was a bit steep and I said that the last time I had a flat it was only €5

"Thats right he said the puncture repair is still €5 but it costs €20 to blow up the tyre.

But what can you do Thats inflation for ya"

How to Crack a Combination Lock in Seconds With No Tools!

So the other day I had a 4 wheel combination lock and I locked myself out. I tried for an hour or more and I was on the point of giving up and buying another,

I had an idea and went to YouTube and in less than 20 mins. I had it open.

So here it is in case you need to know.

Famous people I met without knowing.

He was going to the VIP area at the airport and I asked him if her was meeting someone?

Why do you ask? Well I could wait and bring you all back.

"Good thinking, but I am going home."

I am opening a company here to employ 1,000 people and I am looking for an office to house them all. 

An enterprise like that needs to be split up, if your workers were in one office and a fire broke out you would have really big trouble. I am thinking of a campus situation.

I see where you are coming from now. So I gave him the name of Europes biggest commercial property company. 

Could you please give me your phone number?

I never give out my number so I just gave him a wrong number.

As we swung over to the VIP area I asked him what the name of his company was 

Its called GOOGLE. 

I never heard of that one I said. Oh you will.

A lot of the big guys travel incognito and pick up seeds of knowledge along the way.

Many of the big fish are polite and very interesting to talk / listen to

RIP Neno Dolmajian

 A sad case where a man from Montreal was beaten up in Dublin has died. 

He was 41 years old.

The Garda are useless, this happened in O'Connell st. right in the middle of Dublin.

I walk from Amiens St to O'Connell to go to the Magic society meeting. I carry a really good baton which slips up my sleeve it is retractable. Druggies, and thugs walk around with no curbs on them .  

But you have to be alert. I never ever saw a Garda there.

Years ago when assaults on taxi drivers became commonplace the Garda were stopping taxis and searching for weapons, which they then took, leaving the driver defenceless.

A couple of weeks ago a taxi driver got a run into the city centre and he tried to rob the driver at journeys end. A big fight followed and he escaped with nothing but leaving his fleece behind, A big call to 112 and they waited 45 minutes until they arrived. They then decided that it would not be worth their time to follow him as too much time had elapsed.

My abiding heartbreak with them is this.

I came up from the river to turn left on to Heuston station. At the lights there was a black min with one of the patients from the hospital which carers for mentally challenged people. As I stood there he put his right hand over  sholder and cupped her right breast. The look of sheer horror that came over her face will be with me until I die.

I went around via Kilmanham jail and into the complex. I didn't see them and I asked about 6 people where the office was, who is in charge? No help from anyone, The local Garda station were no help. I wrote letters to the Garda who told me that unless they saw it themselves there was nothing they could do. "Glad that you are not on the murder squad "was all I could say. I wrote to the Garda commissioner. He was of the opinion that the guy would have to be seen in the act.

Around 2 years ago a residential institution in Palmerstown almost had to be closed owing to rape and abuse of its inmates. 

If it was my guy it is something that could have been stopped sooner.

My son is driving the taxi now and the world is starting to open up for him. You see a hell of a lot from the drivers seat of a cab.

Dracula

 A book written by Bram Stoker when he lived in Marino.

It is a brilliant book which tells of the living dead.

In my mind I equate the living dead with the vampires. They infect more people and they then live off their blood.

The other day I went for a flat white. There was a tall girl in front of me and when I put in my order I turned to speak to her. God it was like a punch to the gut when you don't see it coming.

She was a drug addict, but one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. 6ft.tall perhaps 5 st. weight wonderful blue eyes and her soul had been taken away. It really startled me.

Such a beauty, her parents must be going through hell, she is going through, you could see it in her eyes.

I saw a documentary on an American pop group, I wont name them but the name begins with B well they had 2 girls who followed them around. Then one day they switched them over to Heroin.   In the TV program the group members laughed about it.

I hope that there will be a hell fit for those lads, and it should be tough.

Orla Tinsley

Things that happen along the way lies dormant in the back of my head and then something happens to bring that moment to the front of your mind again. 

A girl got into the taxi going to RTE our national broadcaster many years ago. She was quite upbeat but very breathless. Have you got asthma? I asked. I wish to God that was all I had, I have CF Cystic Fibrosis. The rest of the journey was spent telling me about her condition.

On arrival at RTE I said that the trip was on the house and she was astounded and asked me why. So I told her that as sick as she was she never complained once and I wished her all the very best.

Her journey in life has not been easy. 

Guess what? she has written a book. Its called Orla Tinsley My Story on Amazon. 

I downloaded it last night.

So not driving around the mean streets has left me without the input that I would normally get. So I have decided to give you bits of knowledge that was given to me over the years.

If you have a dishwasher don't be kissing her like Adolf Hitlers brother did which got him the sack from the Gresham Hotel. (True story)

Dishwashers are in the top 5 causes of domestic fires.

Do never start it working and go to bed or leave it running when you go off to the shops.

It is a design fault. The wires go from the control and under toe door. After a while the wires break and short circuit,

Do you have a life insurance policy?

Where is your money invested? Well ask them to give you a print out of your investments and study them. So I did and looked.

If they make money it will be their bonus and if they loose it will be your money that went.

So I invested in Irish cement Gypsum and a whole slew of building companies. The investor rang me back telling me that building had been stagnant for a long time and he would only transfer 1/2 the money. So I went back at him telling him it was my decision not his and I would complain  to the regulator.

18 months later my investment had risen 150% and I took all the money and invested into pharmaceuticals again with great complaints from the investor expert and thank God for Viagra we hit another big winner.

Where did all the money go?

The tax man took it in a settlement.

Still it was better to have it.