Wow !!!!

 This has been a real mess.

My computer sat down and I bought a second hand one. A big mistake as it has a mind of its own, passwords applied and unknown.

So here is a story that would make your hair curl.

In the past when money was worth something a developer decided to build houses for £1 million each. At the time you could buy a good house for £60,000. So this was an exclusive development, a quality undertaking. A taxi driver bought one and he paid cash!!!!!

The tongues started to wag and the other kids would not play with the taxi drivers kids, every time a police car saw him they chased him down and searched the car. "Why are you stopping me? I have nothing to hide." So it went on and the taxi man went into the Garda station where the super told him that he knows himself what he was up to and it will be only a matter of time until he is caught.

Taxi drivers have a wide circle of contacts so he started throwing out feelers. 2 private detectives were added to the mix. Then one day when he came home he was met with "Drug dealers out" painted on his front door. The police did nothing when asked but as luck would have it a spy video camera caught the villain.

2 legal eagles who had houses were summoned to court and the local Garda superintendent was ordered to attend, smug in their righteousness, but boy oh boy they were in for a shock.

On the day everyone was shocked to see  the taxi drivers legal team, All high quality the  CC tv was shown and their confidence faltered. The chief of police took the stand and called him a drug dealer. Plain and simple.

The barristers jumped on him and asked him why he never checked up on the taxi driver ?.

The judge said that although he was under no obligation to declare it openly in the court 

He would like to know. 

So an envelope was passed to the judge and the judge said to the superintendent. Everything is legal and in order. A simple phone call would have straightened out the matter.

The taxi driver will sell his house and any deprecation will be picked up by the residents committee. 

The taxi driver also got compensation and costs for the disturbance.

Where did the money come from?

The taxi drivers brother had gone to England and became very successful

He never married and his money came back to his family in Dublin on his death.

The brothers company was very successful I have 5 pairs of Clarkes shoes myself.

If you come into money just say I won €5000. and I mean that. 

A guy I used to work with won €6MILLION IT DESTROYED HIS LIFE

A lady talking noncence

 We have a saying here that one good turn deserves another.

And so my story begins in Sandymount after getting a coffee from the girl with the golden smile. I had just stepped up to the taxi when a black lady from the other side of the green started calling me. So I went over and she said "City West". Which way would you like to go?

Oh Jesus Christ the taxi driver don't know the way.(She is talking into her phone) Do you have a particular route to go? Go to the coast and turn right. She directed me along the road until we hit the M50. All the time she is telling the person on the other end of the fone that she will get drinks on arrival and canapes for the 1,000 guests.My mind kind of switched off as we were  taking the most long route ever. Then as we passed the sign for Ballymount she shouted

"My god the fucking eejit has gone the wrong way we just passed a sign for for Ballymun..I slowed way down and said Look at thee sign for Balllymount the next turn is yours. Any more of the bad behavior and you will be walking.

5 minutes later we were driving into City west. I was shaken and went into the hotel to use the toilet. I said hi to reception which is a good tip as they might be needing a taxi. Outside there was a guy struggling with 2 suitcases on wheels. I decided to tell him that you cannot push anything on wheels on gravel, you have to pull it. So I took one case and he pulled the other. On the way over I told him about the mad woman looking for free wine and food for 1,000 people.Some chance that. Catering for large groups leaves very little profit, if you looked at a breakdown of the figures you would understand extra staff etc. What she is looking for would cost around €8,000

As we walked beck to reception I saw a wonderful sight a Rolls Royce and a Hummer. Wow I said that is fantastic, I love the Rolls. "Take it for a drive I will get the keys" No No No I said. I can't do that. I would be mortified if I damaged such a car. You see I would be very nervous as well. God you are a great guy. I didn't think about that.

So as we reached reception he asked me if I had another job lined up. He went inside and asked in reception and then he lined me up with a cup of coffee and a job to the airport.

I asked in reception who the guy was and was told that he was Mr Mansfield who owned the whole place.

Just as I took my second mouthful of coffee the colored lady stormed into reception and ordered me to take her back to Sandymount, 

But she had to make other plans.

Reception told her to wait for the taxi outside for her taxi.

The Windmills of Your Mind - Noel Harrison

This song is like an anthem for taxi drivers doing long night shifts, one moment of time telescoping into the next endlessly.

On Monday morning at 2am the clocks move backwards one hour. An extra hour in bed.

All the technology will move forward all by itself.

Its easy to remember which way the clocks go. Spring forward and Fall back.

Another thing that is changing the taxi meters, we got a raise.

I love this story about a taxi driver who worked hard and was pulled over for overcharging.

The passenger went to the carriage office who measured the journey in another taxi and he was guilty according to them.

Did you check the day? Was it Sunday? No ! 

But it was Christmas day, extra pay that day for him and for me!.

The driver told me that after all the threats no one said sorry.

I do miss going out and meeting all the different people, I met a wonderful girl from Mexico in Aldi, she was only a few hours in Dublin. I hope her life goes well.

Our city is populated with wonderful people from all around the world. Brazil is well represented ,wonderful girls with a heart full of laughter. We are lucky to have a girl from Argentina who comes in to give us a hand. A wonderful artist.

Clearing up and I find old treasures

 I was clearing up and I found a wad of papers from a bank.

Taxi drivers know a lot of people and some of the people we know have power.

I had a mortgage which was paid by direct debit from my bank account, a large payment went through and there was not enough payment for the loan. A little fecker from the bank rang me and gave me hell. It was really rough although once the shortage was brought to our attention the funds were paid. 

Someone said that I should write to the bank with no reply. So I went into the head office and the little girl told me that they do not have a complaints department. Then I handed the letter into my local AIB in Raheny. 10 days later I got a reply to say that they had investigated the matter and found no problem. A customer advised me to write to the banking ombudsman with copies of the letters and times. A few days later I was asked to clarify a few points.

A customer who had been advising me phoned me and said that my case had shone a light into the darkest corners. He had gathered the offenders into his office and had great fun with them.The head manager had not listened to the tape at all.Everyone nearly died to hear how the staff member spoke to me on that day. Then questions were asked for around 20 mins. In the folder that I came across someone had written on a letter.

"This client may have mental issues"

I have made recommendations said my contact and I feel that heads should roll though that is not up to me.

My compensation £1200...

Letting off steam

 ,

Things happen which makes my blood boil, here are a few. 

Two sets of twin boys living in the UK. Neighbors alerted social services that the children were being neglected.They called to the house and the mother would not let the inspectors see the children. After a month or so they dropped the case.

A fire broke out and in the beginning they herd the children calling they then stopped and the 4 bodies were located under the bed upstairs. Unfortunately they were dead.

The mother had gone shopping and locked them in unsupervised.

She got prison for manslaughter. There was a description of the state of the house which was really very bad.

Then there was the nurse Letby in UK again. She is alleged to have killed as many as 15 babies, convicted of killing 7. The manager of her hospital where she worked was afraid of reporting her or the hospital might have been closed down.

And the last one was the Verizon Computer scandal in the British post office.Loads of postmasters were locked up in prison accused of fraud. The computer system was faulty. What did management do?They lied and covered it up. The head of the post office got an honor from the Queen and the saga sails on. The percent Postmaster got a £30,000 bonus which had not been approved, all this while hundreds still have not received compensation for wrongful imprisonment.

Something really good to finish on.

I got a big surprise in my bank account €220 in payment  from Amazon for the book.

The steering wheel university 

By Paul Malone.

The author drove a million miles and met thousands of people and they educated him.

You can download it on Kindle as well

(Theirs 3 spelling mistakes)

Summer yealds to taxing times

 Death and taxes, nothing is surer.

So I had a business and an accountant made a VAT return every month.Now I gave him the figures in plenty of time but he was late filing the paperwork a few times.(forgive me if this is a repeat) The gay from the tax office decided to come and see me at the accountants office on a set time and day. On the chosen day the accountant decided to go and see France warm up on the Clontarf rugby grounds.

The tax man was livid and he said "Because you have a bad accountant is your fault not his.

I will come to your house tomorrow and I want you to hand me £400 cash or I will take your house from you. At that time I was setting up a detective agency and I had high tech recording equipment, I also knew a guy in the tax office and I asked him if he would like to monitor the situation from the kitchen..

He nearly blew a fuse and told me to do nothing and he would call me back.

They nailed him and they very grateful and they came back and went through the books giving me a  £400 refund.

I went to the accountant and he wanted £600 to give me back my books. "I will be down with big posters saying that you are a blackmailer and incompatant. I got the books back.

Doing burglar alarms was full of problems. A young guy might read the spec for an alarm on his lunch break, the next day he is missing and he is installing the alarm with no insurance and he would not be able to certify the installation when he finished the job. The other biggie is stealing, I used to set traps with the serial numbers of the notes to use as evidence.

3 Minuets was the record to catch a guy stealing, but I was lucky.

Anyhow about the neighbors cat.She comes to us most days and the agreement is that we have with her owner is that we will not feed her. She loves us and brings us presents, a little bird (alive) and 3 baby mice that would fit into a matchbox. You have to be quick.

Its a never ending roundabout of life.

Is Summer really gone?

Gosh this summer went really fast. Its no help that one of the supermarkets have rows of chocolate Santas and snowmen on display for Christmas.

It is only a small thing but I had to say it.

Now here is a strange one for you. A cat arrived at our house and my son adopted her with open arms. Around 6 weeks later a knock came to  the door and it was 2 garda at the door.

The owner of the cat had got the law to get the cat back. Now we had not stolen the cat and after much over and back the cat was returned.

This shocked me when I compare it to times that the law let down the victim. John Clarke who worked with me in another life bought a taxi and he had a job going out towards Tallagh. His passenger had a suitcase and as he landed the case on the footpath a small boy of around 7 years old came up to him. He had fair hair and spoke perfect English.

"Mister could you please help me and bring me back to my Mammy and Daddy"

John was taken aback, then a man appeared "He does this all the time, everything is fine"

John went to the local Garda station and to our dismay they just said that unless we get a missing persons report there is nothing we can do.

Poor John he suffered and we went down to where  the house was but he seemed to be gone.

So I was heading to Heuston train station. As I waited at the lights to change a Black carer with wonderful girl beside him. The carer put his arm over her shoulder and fondled her right breast. The look of disgust on her face shocked me to this day and instead of going left I went straight on and around by the prison and over to the massive establishment which looks after hundreds of mentally challenged are "Looked after"

I spent an hour asking to speak to the person in charge

Absolutely no one came forward, I wrote to all the care hospitals in the area and in Palmerstown. I wrote to all the Garda stations. Not one reply. I wrote to the Garda commissioner twice and I got a phone call saying that unless a Garda saw it happen that there would be nothing that they could do. I said that its a  good job that he was not on the murder squad.

A couple of years later a huge scandal erupted at the Palmerstown facility, It seemed that they were taken aback as they did not know that this was going on.

Well that's what happens when you wear a blindfold.

A quick snatch of the cash

 I have 2 debit cards One is the AIB bank and the other Revolut. I never had any problems with either debit card. A few days ago the account was getting low, so I put in €100. The next day it was refusing payments and I checked the balance...€1.60 Things were bought in Milan, but the account was cleaned out. Revolut will not talk to you, its type a question and they type you an answer, but the outcome was FUCK OFF. I guess I was lucky as the other debit cart I have has more than €11.000 on it. I will close off that cash on Monday.

Cold Play are in action in Croke Park to wild applause. Bruce Springsteen is a mighty act and he was playing here in Dublin. I picked up 3 ladies and brought them to a hotel in Ballsbridge.

The step down from that taxi was quite steep so I held out my hand to steady the ladies, when I saw the second girls face I gasped. "Are you Cynthia Lennon?" She was and I asked if I could give her a hug. Then the first girl said we all need a hug. The first girl was Bruce Springsteen They asked me if I would like to join them for the show. It turned out I had been booked. Imagine me sitting there in the VIP box.

What about the Euromillions  €150 Million.

You better know how to keep a secret.

I checked my Lotto numbers once and it said ITS A WINNER ! I checked it again and got the same result. So in the morning I went off to Abbey St to collect my winnings. The whole secret is to keep it quiet, I went upstairs and handed in the ticket that would change my life forever. She popped it into her machine and said. Congratulations you have won a ticket into the millionaire draw.. I said that there  is a hell of a difference between Its a winner and you have won a prize. Nothing changed so I wrote to them saying that I was with the police and my duty is to talk jumpers down and I had spent 3 hours out on Howth Head talking  a man down off the cliff edge. As part of my duty I visited his home a few times. Lovely kids and wife, he could not handle that his Lotto dream was not a reality.

It was changed

New computer coming

 I would post more often but I have been having computer problems.

First let me tell you of 2 strange things I saw in Aldi on the East wall road last week. 

First of all I was going in and I saw a modern car with its side lights turned on. It hit me like a flash. He got out of the car without switching it off, then the car would not lock and anyone could have opened the door and driven away. I saw that before so my mind clicked into play.

A few years ago a friend of mine flew to New York and picked up his sisters Prius. She showed him how it worked and they drove to Boston.     On arrival at his parents house he rang NY to see how to lock the car. "Use the key fob" came the  reply. She had the key in her pocket. They were lucky that they never turned off the engine for all of the journey,

The other one happened in Aldi as well. Recycling drink cans and plastic bottle is a big hit. So people are bringing stacks of empty cans to run through the machine. One day a lady was loading in the cans and when she was finished she pulled her refund docket and put her bag into the trash. I knew that there was something odd in the transaction and it hit me 10 minutes later. The bag she threw into the trash cost her €3 at least and I bet she didn't get more than €2 for the cans she brought to the shop. By the way you are charged for the cans at the point of purchase.

 There was a huge error in the Garda vetting procedure. A taxi driver was convicted of raping 2 girls. When they looked into his past criminal record they found that had raped a 9 year old girl at an earlier time. What kind of research had they done?

A Chinese friend of mine is going through the vetting process for weeks now. At one point they handed him back the form because his references were all Chinese. Even though they were all Irish citizens.

Here is a story that you could amuse someone with.

My Daddy went away with some of his mates to Blackpool in 1962.

When he came back he had box and inside the box there was a donkey about a foot high. My wife is turning on her fone of to check the weather. 

Back then we had the weather donkey, 

all eventualities were covered.

The instructions were to put the donkey in the garden 15 ft from the kitchen window.

If you looked out and you could not see the donkey? Then it was night time

If the donkeys tail was wet.... It has been or is now raining

If the donkeys tail was dry, then it is not raining.

If the tail is moving around... It is telling you that it is windy

If the tail remained still.....It is not windy but calm

Then one morning the donkey was lying on its side. My Daddy consulted the manual.

It declared that there had been an earthquake

Modern science Could you beat it?

 

Highlights: Clare find extra gear to edge Cork in epic 2024 All-Ireland ...

 

So here we are with the hurling final over and a victory for Clare.

Many years ago I picked up an Italian father and son. They had been given 2 tickets to the hurling final. Not knowing what to expect they were just blown away. The dad was jumping up and down all through the trip. When he got out I had to feel the seat to make sure that it was dry. Thank God that he had not wet himself.

One thing for sure is that the Italian connection was well joined. 

The Olympics are here and boys oh boy they are all so fit, fine tuned to within a minute of their lives. Looking great as well.

I lost a day last Sunday. Every day is the same and I have no dates to meet, so time slips by.

I was in Aldi the other day and a lady was loading drink cans into the recycler. When she finished she put a reusable shopping bag into the bin. My mind took an hour to tell me what had happened. The reusable shopping bag was worth twice the value of the cans redeemed. Upstairs for thinking and downstairs for dancing.

On the road for another year

 The taxi licence is renewed for another year. Hip Hip Hooray

While we were waiting at the office I met Mr Robinson, a guy who has been in the business for many years. He is making electric taxis in his garage at the moment while he waits for the next adjustment in the taxi fares. Thousands of meters will have to be calibrated when that happens. He is also the main agent for the electric London taxi. This is the Rolls Royce of taxis.

On the way home I recalled to my son how I bought a Mazda X Garda Car at auction once, I got it at a good price and one of the guys at the auction told me that the engine was blown. I asked around and Robinsons were agents for Japanese engines at the time. IVI engines.

In and out on the same day. We had that car for 4 years and when we sold it we got more for it than we paid for the car and engine combined.

Here is a story you could tell to your passengers as you go along.

My wife is looking at her fone and is telling me what the weather is doing, its very annoying.

Back in the 60s my Daddy went to Blackpool with a few of his mates. He brought us back a box with a model donkey inside. It was for predicting the weather.

It was about a foot high and it had to be placed around 15 ft from the house.

If you couldn't see it it was night time.

If its tail was wet, it was raining,

If it was dry it was not raining

If the tail was moving around it was windy

If the tail was still there was no wind that day.

Then one day it was lying on its side and the instructions read EARTHQUAKE

RENEWAL TIME HAS COME AGAIN

 Its the little things that catch you out.

To renew your licence you have to have a tax clearance cert.

Then fitness for the road NCT

Followed by motor tax.

Taxi insurance etc. etc

On joining you would have to be vetted by the police. One taxi driver is facing prison at present.

It is said that he raped 2 girls and before he got his taxi licence he was found guilty of raping a 7 year old child. What kind of a vetting process did he go through?

My first taxi licence was Cxxxx and my present one is Jxxxx. When we first qualified there was a rule that you had to be unemployed and there was a bit of a limit to the licences issued.

A friend of mine bought a taxi plate and he handed it back in stating that he could make no money at all. A few months later he saw his plate on a new car being driven by the Garda from the carriage office. He stormed into the office and was detained until he cooled down.

The rules are loose for some and strict for others.

When you are driving along its great to share a joke with the passengers,

"I got a puncture the other day and went to a tyre place. He fixed it in a few minutes and charged me €25. I thought it was a bit steep and I said that the last time I had a flat it was only €5

"Thats right he said the puncture repair is still €5 but it costs €20 to blow up the tyre.

But what can you do Thats inflation for ya"

How to Crack a Combination Lock in Seconds With No Tools!

So the other day I had a 4 wheel combination lock and I locked myself out. I tried for an hour or more and I was on the point of giving up and buying another,

I had an idea and went to YouTube and in less than 20 mins. I had it open.

So here it is in case you need to know.

Famous people I met without knowing.

He was going to the VIP area at the airport and I asked him if her was meeting someone?

Why do you ask? Well I could wait and bring you all back.

"Good thinking, but I am going home."

I am opening a company here to employ 1,000 people and I am looking for an office to house them all. 

An enterprise like that needs to be split up, if your workers were in one office and a fire broke out you would have really big trouble. I am thinking of a campus situation.

I see where you are coming from now. So I gave him the name of Europes biggest commercial property company. 

Could you please give me your phone number?

I never give out my number so I just gave him a wrong number.

As we swung over to the VIP area I asked him what the name of his company was 

Its called GOOGLE. 

I never heard of that one I said. Oh you will.

A lot of the big guys travel incognito and pick up seeds of knowledge along the way.

Many of the big fish are polite and very interesting to talk / listen to

RIP Neno Dolmajian

 A sad case where a man from Montreal was beaten up in Dublin has died. 

He was 41 years old.

The Garda are useless, this happened in O'Connell st. right in the middle of Dublin.

I walk from Amiens St to O'Connell to go to the Magic society meeting. I carry a really good baton which slips up my sleeve it is retractable. Druggies, and thugs walk around with no curbs on them .  

But you have to be alert. I never ever saw a Garda there.

Years ago when assaults on taxi drivers became commonplace the Garda were stopping taxis and searching for weapons, which they then took, leaving the driver defenceless.

A couple of weeks ago a taxi driver got a run into the city centre and he tried to rob the driver at journeys end. A big fight followed and he escaped with nothing but leaving his fleece behind, A big call to 112 and they waited 45 minutes until they arrived. They then decided that it would not be worth their time to follow him as too much time had elapsed.

My abiding heartbreak with them is this.

I came up from the river to turn left on to Heuston station. At the lights there was a black min with one of the patients from the hospital which carers for mentally challenged people. As I stood there he put his right hand over  sholder and cupped her right breast. The look of sheer horror that came over her face will be with me until I die.

I went around via Kilmanham jail and into the complex. I didn't see them and I asked about 6 people where the office was, who is in charge? No help from anyone, The local Garda station were no help. I wrote letters to the Garda who told me that unless they saw it themselves there was nothing they could do. "Glad that you are not on the murder squad "was all I could say. I wrote to the Garda commissioner. He was of the opinion that the guy would have to be seen in the act.

Around 2 years ago a residential institution in Palmerstown almost had to be closed owing to rape and abuse of its inmates. 

If it was my guy it is something that could have been stopped sooner.

My son is driving the taxi now and the world is starting to open up for him. You see a hell of a lot from the drivers seat of a cab.

Dracula

 A book written by Bram Stoker when he lived in Marino.

It is a brilliant book which tells of the living dead.

In my mind I equate the living dead with the vampires. They infect more people and they then live off their blood.

The other day I went for a flat white. There was a tall girl in front of me and when I put in my order I turned to speak to her. God it was like a punch to the gut when you don't see it coming.

She was a drug addict, but one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. 6ft.tall perhaps 5 st. weight wonderful blue eyes and her soul had been taken away. It really startled me.

Such a beauty, her parents must be going through hell, she is going through, you could see it in her eyes.

I saw a documentary on an American pop group, I wont name them but the name begins with B well they had 2 girls who followed them around. Then one day they switched them over to Heroin.   In the TV program the group members laughed about it.

I hope that there will be a hell fit for those lads, and it should be tough.

Orla Tinsley

Things that happen along the way lies dormant in the back of my head and then something happens to bring that moment to the front of your mind again. 

A girl got into the taxi going to RTE our national broadcaster many years ago. She was quite upbeat but very breathless. Have you got asthma? I asked. I wish to God that was all I had, I have CF Cystic Fibrosis. The rest of the journey was spent telling me about her condition.

On arrival at RTE I said that the trip was on the house and she was astounded and asked me why. So I told her that as sick as she was she never complained once and I wished her all the very best.

Her journey in life has not been easy. 

Guess what? she has written a book. Its called Orla Tinsley My Story on Amazon. 

I downloaded it last night.

So not driving around the mean streets has left me without the input that I would normally get. So I have decided to give you bits of knowledge that was given to me over the years.

If you have a dishwasher don't be kissing her like Adolf Hitlers brother did which got him the sack from the Gresham Hotel. (True story)

Dishwashers are in the top 5 causes of domestic fires.

Do never start it working and go to bed or leave it running when you go off to the shops.

It is a design fault. The wires go from the control and under toe door. After a while the wires break and short circuit,

Do you have a life insurance policy?

Where is your money invested? Well ask them to give you a print out of your investments and study them. So I did and looked.

If they make money it will be their bonus and if they loose it will be your money that went.

So I invested in Irish cement Gypsum and a whole slew of building companies. The investor rang me back telling me that building had been stagnant for a long time and he would only transfer 1/2 the money. So I went back at him telling him it was my decision not his and I would complain  to the regulator.

18 months later my investment had risen 150% and I took all the money and invested into pharmaceuticals again with great complaints from the investor expert and thank God for Viagra we hit another big winner.

Where did all the money go?

The tax man took it in a settlement.

Still it was better to have it.

D day

We have not had another world war yet in my lifetime thank God.

So many places in the world are suffering now. That war in Ukraine will cause widespread suffering and food shortages.

So many years ago we took our trusty car and went to France. It happened to be the anniversary of the D day landings and there was loads of veterans and WW2 vehicles on the ferry. Our son was very young at the time, but we were told loads about what happened on the day.

Later that day we stopped for a meal and we placed our order. A young English couple stood up and said how much they enjoyed the meal and asked "Ou est la bord de la Mer?" (Where is the seaside) The waiter took great delight to make fun of them. Walking down between the tables like a circus clown and in a loud voice. My wife speaks fluent French and she stopped him with a shout like a bullet would.

Masseur, are you completely mad ?.

But for the parents of these people and the sacrifice that they made in the war you would be speaking German today. The French did not account for themselves well during the war.

So we will not be eating here today and We will be contacting Ies routiers to inform them of your behaviour.

We left the Café to a huge round of applause.

You don't mess with my wife.

Blackrock clinic

 My wife is ill. Its not life threatening but she is bad enough.

She has sciatica its a pain in the lower back and down the left leg.

It has been going on now for 8 months and this is the reason that I had to hand the taxi over to my son.

We have been to different doctors and we are still no closer to a cure.

We went to the Blackrock clinic and they did a small operation, then 2 or more follow up consultations.

Then the bombshell came that they would offer us no more help !!!!

I phoned and asked that someone would ring me back. When this did not work I wrote again and threatened them with exposure on the blog.

A holy nun rang and spoke to my wife. Absolutely no apology.

We deal in accident and emergencies and special procedures.

We do not provide aftercare !!!

With all their skills and wonderful doctors we are on our own

Perhaps a little bit of thought

 There was a story rattling around about a fathers grief when his 13 year old daughter killed herself. He managed to unlock her mobile phone to find that she was being bullied without mercy. He read some of the texts and said that the phone records were in the hands of the police.

They were going to prosecute in the next few weeks.

It is so important to talk to each other face to face once in a while. Small problems can grow if a person is isolated. "Put away the mobile and talk to me "

There was a big fundraiser here in Ireland called "Darkness into light"

When I drove my taxi I had a couple of people who were suicidal, I started carrying leaflets from the Samaritans and handed them out. 

There is an amazing story in my book called The Steering wheel university (Amazon) about a taxi a taxi driver who was waiting for a job in The summit car park in Howth A lady in her night dress walks past him and.................

Caifornia to Toronto

So I will try to make this quick.

3 Guys having a beer in a pub in Toronto.

One of the guys had moved with his wife to Canada when she got a big promotion.

The conversation came around as to which of them had ever had the shortest time on a job.

One of the guys said "I guess its me, 4 hours"

What happened was when we moved to Toronto I went around looking for work and this place asked me to come in the next morning wearing overalls.

The boss in the front office told me to look at the first car which came and then report to the front office. A lady came in with a warning light on the dash which indicated Mass air sensor fault.

I popped the hood and I found that someone had unplugged the sensor. I plugged it in and then I went into the front office. The boss told me that I was to tell her a whole pack of lies saying that it will cost $800 and we will need the car all day.

I went to the lady telling her what was wrong and that there would be no charge.

Then I told her what the boss had told me to do.

She gave me her business card and told me when I found a place to call her up.

She sent me so much work over the years. All my staff are trained to be honest.

And that is why we have 6 garages around the city.

Remarkable people

 Well time moves on and it wont be long until the Barnacle geese leave Clontarf and fly to Greenland and then the tiny swallows will come here from S.Africa. Things keep on moving.

So the most remarkable person I ever had the pleasure of meeting was Chuck Feeney, he invented something very simple and became a multi Billionaire. He decided after a while that God did not give him the money just to buy expensive cars, big houses and live the high life. So he decided to do good with his fortune. Thousands of college scholarships were given to black kids which diverted them from the Vietnam war. He built a 200 bed hospital in Vietnam and kitted it out. Limerick university and the list goes on.

He gave away 8 Billion dollars.

I wrote to him when I learned what he had done and we stayed in touch for more than 10 years. Sadly he died at the beginning of the year.

Stephen Spielberg was another guy that I did not recognise, I did say that he looked similar, but he said that he was no one famous. I would not have got the fare but I was the only driver who would take dollars. We talked about movies and he asked me what was my favourite movie? Cinema Paradiso without a doubt. The lighting, the cinemaphotography, the casting of characters, God but Sicily is so beautiful, now most people do not know how important music is to a movie. It is totally overpowering. I am the one person who knows how important the music is.

We were going to the K club so we talked loads. At one point he took out a note book and started writing down one to the tales. "You're writing it down?"  There was a bit of a panic as he thought that I was objecting. I had to write that down as I would just hate to forget. I carry 2 note books and 2 pens  and I write down great ideas. When I get home those ideas are written into my diaries. One set of diaries is in a safe in my home, the other in my office. If I am stuck for an idea I will play Russian roulette and find an idea.

If a diary goes missing the  other copy is taken out and duplicated and the search for the missing one goes on.

Seeing as how he was involved in the movie business I told him about a shoot that took place in Tara with princess Hya and a Japanese pop star. (Name dropper) After filming all day I had the camera man sound man etc in the car. The camera man said that it was a totally waisted day as the wrong lens was in the camera. He could not tell the director as he would loose face and he would never employ him again. Stephen said that he would love if someone would look out for errors on his set.

So he asked me to come back that evening and bring him to Dublin and back down again. I said that it would be 4 journeys for me and I would be only paid for 2. Anyhow they have a super limo here and it would be much better. No I want to go with you. 

Measure one leg of the journey and I will give you 5 times that amount.

I am sorry but its my wife's birthday and I don't want to get killed.

So I headed back to Dublin, watching the Late Late show that night Pat Kenny introduced Mr nobody famous Stephen Spielberg who said. Hi John thank you so much for looking after me today and I hope that we meet again soon.

So for the guy I am looking for. He lived around Crossmaglen in the 1940s and he had a farm. A busy wee man he built a wind charger and made electricity. Then he built a valve radio. All the neighbours gathered round to observe the miracle. He built an aeroplane and flew it around until he was stopped as he had no pilots licence. He bought a thrashing machine and when the harvest was over he stripped it down to pieces and asked everyone in to look at the makings of it. They all said that he would never be able to rebuild it. Not only did he get it back he modified the manifold and got 2 horsepower extra from the engine.

So he decided to build valve radios as electricity was coming  into the country areas. He went to the bank manager in Carrickmacross who turned him down flat.  

So he sold the farm and went to America where he got a job in a convent as a handyman. Then one day he met a guy who was working for NASA. As they talked he discovered that the Irishman was thinking in a different way. They brought him to help design the space shuttle. The guy who was telling me this said that they all marvelled at how his mind worked.

When the moon landing happened they put a plaque made of gold on the moon and his name is on it bold and proud.

The guy who was in the car was doing a story about him and he wanted me to drive him, sure thats life. 

If the bank manager had given him the loan we might not have landed on the moon                            

St. Valentines day 1981 Dublin

 Yesterday the enquiry into the Stardust ended. 

From 1981 until now has been a long hard road. 

They say that the fire started from an electrical fault. The fact that the fire escapes were blocked and the fire doors were chained up needs no enquiry as to what caused the 48 deaths of those young people. 

One family lost 3 of their children aged 18,16,and 22. What is beyond belief is that there really has not been a proper investigation in all the time that passed. 

I would love to have a proper legal eagle to go through it all.

Sutton cemetery has a mass grave, just across from Phil Lynott.

Pop in and give them all a prayer.

Christy Moore - They Never Came Home (Stardust Song) | The Late Late Sho...

A moment on a train in London

 Unless you don't know that canaries in cages were used to detect poisonous gases in the mines years ago this joke might go past you.

An assistant in a pet shop says to the lady who just came in. Madam I am not saying that your perfume is strong. But all the canaries in the cage were alive before you came in.

A moment from years ago came back to me.

We were on the train which was packed into London from Heathrow and there was a Russian girl standing beside me. Now I am the kind of person who will talk to a drop dead girl. I asked her if she was a model, she said no and asked me what made me say that. Her blue eyes were fascinating and she carried herself very well.

"Well no. I have just graduated from the London school of fashion" and she was starting her own clothing company to sell clothes on line. Wow that is so different. What is the name of the company. ??

Boohoo ! After a few minutes I said Fashion without tears. I will use that. You're welcome.

We talked on and soon. her station came up and I gave her a lift out with her bags. I put my hand out to touch her shoulder and she just slid into my arms and gave me a kiss on the lips. And she was gone.

Her company went from strength to strength.   Then the press got involved and said that her clothes were being made in third world countries with slave labour.

You know this is happening all over. Iphones are being assembled for 50c

She was one of these Russian billionaire families and her brother is now running the company.

I hope that those fantastic blue eyes are still smiling.

Spring Forward Fall Back (Clocks)

Oh Boy. I am sure that there are a few people going around wondering why their mobile phone had the wrong time this morning. Truth be told the phone was right.

As usual a politician was on saying that the winter/summer time difference should end. It was changed a few years ago and kids were killed walking to school in the dark mornings.

America (USA) has 3 time zones from side to side. Sometimes I wonder if you have to change your watch to go from one side of the road to the other. Our phones keep us right to the millisecond.

I have around 6 watches, I don't even know where the 2 most expensive ones are, but the other 4 only cost me around €10 each !! I bought a watch in a market for £10 and after a while the battery went and I brought it to a jeweller. as he was fitting the battery I asked him if it was a good watch. No its only a cheap Chinese movement he said. Worthless. So 18 months later it stopped again and I went to the late great Tommy Cummins in Fairview.

He opened it up and told me that it had got a blow and that one of the teeth on a cog was broken. I told him to dump it so......."Are you mad? "I could repair and service that watch,  then I will issue you with a certificate of authency any if you brought it to a collector you would make in excess of £!,000. So I told him what the other guy said.    He needs to go back to watch school said Tommy. Tommy was a good man he died of Cancer RIP.

The most celebrated client I ever met was the multi billionaire Chuck Feeney (He is in my book The steering wheel university) 

Chuck invented duty free shopping and became a rich man. He wore a cheap $10 Casio watch though he gave away more than 8 billion dollars. Why would I wear an expensive watch when I could do so much more with the money.

I stayed in touch with him for more than 10 years and the contact was great, he was as wise as a fox.

He died in Jan. The world will miss him.

Thanks to him I know how to invest my future lottery winnings.

I may have told you this before. .BUT

I checked my Lottery ticket before I went to bed.

"Its a winner!" First prize €33 million.

I got ready for bed and checked it again....Its a winner....WOW

So I went to bed and at 7.30 I checked it again Still a winner.

I got the bus into the Lottery HQ and handed in my ticket and I got the biggest kick on the arse that I ever got in my life.

 "Yes you've won a ticket into the Millionaire raffle."

You see the system has to calculate the prize and we do not know until 8.00am what the prize will be.

"Could you not just say, you have won a prize?

I wrote in as I felt so badly about it to no avail.

A couple of years later I had the solution and wrote again.

Dear Sir

I am writing to you requesting that you change the wording on your website from "Its A Winner" to "You have won a prize"

I am employed with the Garda and the fire service and I try and talk down suicide victims who are about to kill themselves. I spent 3 hours with a young man on the cliffs at Howth last week, when we got him to come back it transpired that he thought that his financial problems had been sorted and he could not face life any longer when he found out that his ticket was useless.

Please Please change the wording to "YOU HAVE WON A PRIZE"

And they did it

My cousin Gordon had the best opinion about the Lottery.

This is the best thing I ever saw. 

A tax on stupidity.

The Irish of Montserrat, West Indies 1976

Happy St. Patricks Day

Well tomorrow will be St.Patricks day. A day to be celebrated all over the world.

There is a wealth of stories of how the Irish were sent there as slaves to work in the sugar plantations. Slavery was widespread. The singer Riana is of that stock.

I see that the Black Irish was downloaded and that song of the migrant.

The song was written by a Garda who was travelling on a bus when the song came to hin. He had a pen and note book, so he wrote it down. Bing Crosbie the famous American singer had an international hit. The royalties paid for his house. Then it features in the Quiet man movie the income put his kids through collage, then it appeared again in Stephen Spielberg's movie ET. Which paid for his retirement home in Spain.

One interesting point is that he wrote this fantastic hit song. It came just like that and he never wrote another one.

I found out that they are going to knock down an iconic Dublin pub The Brian Boru on Prospect Ave to make way for the construction of the new metro railway.

The story about this pub that is stuck in my mind concerns a pub across the way The Gravediggers. Just at the back of the cemetery. Well the story goes that one of the Dubliners folk group had died and all the best of Irish talent had gathered in the pub to celebrate his life.

The owner of the pub was (I forget his first name ) Kavanagh and he was very fixed in his ways. After a while a banjo came and when the first chord sounded the owner shouted.

"There is no music in this pub, if I let you sing today that lot over there will be singing tomorrow. And they can't sing a note" 

Everyone to a man finished up their drinks and walked over to the Brian Boru where they sang all night and nearly drank the pub dry.

By the way The Gravediggers is one of Dublin's best pubs.

The Isle Of Innisfree

As darkness falls good night

 As most of you know I have retired and my son David has taken over the job. He is very nervous about it but I suppose we all were at the start. He has people to meet and places to go for sure.

So the main reason that things came to such a sudden stop was my wife's illness. It is nothing fatal like Cancer thank God, but I have to be htre.

So here is a story which hinges on a remark made by a passenger.(Chuck Feeney)I would love to be a taxi driver if I was starting my life again, you hear so much. It only takes one idea to turn you into a millionaire. Chuck invented duty free shopping and became a billionaire. But unlike most people becoming rich he gave it all away.

Look up the book about him "The billionaire who wasn't by Conor O'Cleary. I stayed in touch with Chuck for more than 10 years after we met. Such a great guy.

So on with the story.

Outside London there was a railway station with a car park. People used to commute to London from there. It was busy enough.

If it was raining there was potholes and with the bad lighting people would walk through the puddles. So one day signs went up giving notice about work starting over the next 4 weekends.

Lighting went in, followed by1/2 the car park having drainage done and a fine tarmac top. The following week the other side was done and lines were painted, so People knew where to park. Then came the parking ticket machines. Cheap enough at the beginning, offenders were clamped but things settled down through the years.

One day when the commuters came they found that the ticket machines were all full, they went into the station master who rang the contact number, no reply. He rang the railway company who rang back to say that they had no record of the car park. Locksmiths were called and the parking meters were drilled out, emptied and new locks fitted. 

Some guy had spotted the situation and took it over for more than 20 years. He bought his house, sent his kids to university, he probably bought a house in Spain as well before walking away.

He did no harm to anyone.

Happy St. Valentines day

Did you know that there is a relic to St.Valentine .

It can be found in the Carmelite church on Whitefriar St.

There is a post box inside where you can drop in a note to tell him exactly what you want. "That last fella you sent was no good, he didn't want to work at all"

Anyhoo I should be on my way to Blackpool tomorrow morning, but I have to stay here to take care of my wife. Nothing too severe sciatica.

It has been going on for more than 12 weeks now. All that time with no taxi work. I passed to taxi to my son. But I really do miss the outing every day.

To get back to Blackpool. What's on. 

The Worlds biggest magic convention, thats what's on.

100 +magic dealers selling things to preform the smallest magic trick in your hand to something to make a car vanish and everything in between. Then there are lectures where great magicians share their secrets with keen listeners.

Some magicians are really friendly and Paul Daniels was a great example. I met him a few times and I went to a few of his lectures.

He was coming to Belfast and I sent him an email telling him that I was coming. On arrival Paul was talking to a group of magicians in a corner of the hall. I walked in and Paul shouted over.

"Gentlemen take a look at this fine man who has just come in. Take a good look and you can plainly see that he is very wealthy. After all he won't spend money on good clothes." I don't know where it came from, but I said "Or wigs Paul" to which he replied "Touché". Then I came back with "Toupee"

He ran across and gave me a big hug.

Debbie McGee was at some function as a special guest and she spoke of Pauls death. No matter where we were we drove back home if we did not have another show in the area. Paul would drive and then one day he asked Debbie to drive, then there was headaches, when he finally went into hospital he had a massive brain tumour. But he passed away with no pain.

Magic is so accessible now with the internet.

Look for

Bill Malone. Harry Cardines Santos, Harry Lorayne, Eugene Burger.

All of them do DVDs and soon you will have your party piece.

My favourite one is to take a €5 note and in full view fold it once, twice, three times and then blow on it and it has turned into a €50.

I have a deck of cards and all the faces are different but the backs are the same. A prediction card in an envelope is placed on the table.

I deal face down cards until the person says stop.

Then I deal the other cards from the bottom face up.

There is a prediction in this envelope, I know that it is right.

You open up the envelope and it doesn't match. Front or back.

After a pause you turn the chosen cards over and they match. Front and back.

Rene Levant was in Blackpool and after the show I saw him with a group of people. He was standing at the top of a small curved staircase, near the edge. I went over to congratulate him on his performance. I was waiting for my moment when someone came over from the other side. He stepped back and came tumbling down the stairs. (He only had one arm)I remembered that before I grabbed him in a bear hug and shot back down the stairs backwards with him in my arms.

Was he grateful ? He roared at me in Spanish and he and they all thought that I had pushed him down the stairs. In many ways looking back there is a saying.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Perhaps next year

Romeo and Juliet

 Love and passion hit the paper on Tuesday.

Constance Marten a British aristocrat had a baby and fled from their folks in freezing weather with their new born baby Victoria. Her lover is coloured, so perhaps this is the reason why they panicked. The police found them sleeping in a tent that they bought from Argos in the freezing weather,

A couple of days later they found the babys body in a plastic bag under a pile of branches.

A situation of unbearable pain for everyone.

Today near Boston a lady sleeping in a wheelie bin was tipped into the bin lorry and crushed by the compactor.

The poor are always with us but when you see that Elon Musk wanted to pay himself over 50 billion, but it has been blocked on behalf of his shareholders.

A great bumper sticker seen on a Tesla.

I bought this car before I knew Elon Musk was mad

The worst thing ever

Like many people we do not buy the paper, on line is so much cheaper and quicker. Today in the London Times there was a story of a father and infant son found dead in a house. 

The dad was 20 and the child was 2. 

The father had died of a heart attack and the child died from starvation and dehydration.

Social services were on the case and they went to the house on the 2nd of Jan and got no reply. They reported it to the police who gained access to the house on the 8th and found the bodies.

When I went back to check on the facts the story has been removed.

I have no faith in the police whatever. I tried to report a guy who was sexually molesting a mentally handclapped girl.

"Unless we saw him doing it there is nothing we can do."

That letter went to the Garda commissioner.

I wrote to 4 care homes in the area, none of them would reply.

Another time I had 2 guys who were looking for a guy to shoot him.

Honestly (Its in the book)

The Garda station in Tallagh told me "Don't come in here telling us fairy stories"

One last story from my past. There was a ram raid on an off licence beside the International telephone exchange on Marlborough St. One of the lads called the boys in blue. But they had skidalled before the Garda arrived. A police car waited for the owner to come.

"Thank God I have CCTV said the owner"

So long ago that they didn't know what CCTV was.

When the tape was played back the Garda car was shown to have stolen more than the robbers. 

But we all know he was just holding it for safe keeping.