This lockdown has me driven mad

Poor Judy, she went back to China for 3 weeks to visit her parents 4 months ago


Great for me I won the Lotto, if you could call €4 a win.Still "Manys a Mickle makes a Muckle.
So when I was picking up a few groceries I handed in my ticket and asked for a quick pick without a +
She scanned my ticket and then rang up for a new one. She was not used to the job and ran the ticket in with a plus. I never give back a ticket in case I am throwing away a winning ticket.
The ticket came to €3.50 and she asked me for 50c. No you owe me 50c.
She just couldn't see it.
Luckily there was a supervisor who jumped in.
"He gave you a ticket worth €4 and he bought a ticket worth €3.50?"  Said the supervisor.
"So he owes me 50c" Said the girl.

The supervisor reached into the register and took out the 50c. Thank God

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

On taxi driving you have to keep your wits about you all the time.
When I am giving change I count up. The fare was 21.60 Here is 40c brings it to 22 plus 8 that is 30.
The money that the punter gives you you place on the dashboard so that there is no dispute as to what you were given. So I went into Northwood and a tall Brazilian girl came out.
AIB, AIB. Where is that? AIB she said again, so I just said show me.
It was the Allied Irish Bank in Santry!
As we were turning into the bank she gave me €20. "You hold on to this,"
Then when we stopped she said wait for me. Can you give me 2 tens?
At that point I said we are all square now,so off she went.
She came back and we drove back to Northwood, on arrival she said (which didn't surprise me)
"Just take it from the €20 I gave you"
The row kicked off and then I said.
"Look at that blinking red light. That is a camera.
We will go down to Santry Garda station and sort this out now".
As quick as a flash she paid me and hopped out.

She must have done that a lot as she had it so well rehearsed.
Still there are a lot of prostitutes in Nothwood.
I am not saying that she was one, but that is such a sad road to be on.
I found an organisation to help.
Ruhama 01 8360292 or support@ruhama.ie
Sad to say I do believe that some Garda turn a blind eye to what is going on,

One more day

Well the eBook launches for pre-order tomorrow, then it will arrive on the 19th.

It is in lockdown now so I cannot add to it.
Many tales have come back to me but this one missed the bus.
In Sandymount there is a terrific coffee shop Cafe Java and I was coming out when an African lady started to shout at me from across the road at the pub.
I drove over and she got in. "City West" "Which way do you want me to go?"
"God damn it the bloody driver doesn't know where it is"
I stopped the car. "Do you have a preferred route to go? I would go over by the canal"
So she directed me along the coast to Dun Laoighre and along the M50.
She was talking on her mobile fone so loud that my ears were nearly going deaf.
As we passed the sign for Ballymount she roared. "Jesus I don't believe it the fecking eejet has gone the wrong way, we just passed a sign for Ballymun"
I was fuming, and told her to put the fone down from her face for a minute, learn to READ that sign is Ballymount, the next one will bring us to the Naas rd".,
So she started talking again at full volume.
She worked for a company and they were holding a reception in the City West hotel for 1,000 people.
She was going there to get free drinks on arrival and canapes for the guests.
She paid me and got out, I went into the hotel to use the toilet,lucky that I did.
When I came out there was an old guy pushing a trolley with 4 suitcases on it.
I decided to help him. I told him that anything with wheels has to be pulled on gravel. If you push you are pushing it into the gravel and making work for yourself. I pulled it along with him and I told him about my lunatic friend that I had brought to the hotel. He said "You might not believe this, there are only 3 venues here in Dublin that can cater for that many people to do what she wants would cost €8000 or more,extra staff, breakages etc. That will not happen. As we were walking back to the hotel I saw two Hummers and a Rolls Royce parked to the side. "Wow they are wonderful cars" I said.
"Would you like to drive one?" he said "I will get the keys"
"No No, If I damaged the car we would both be very upset, its best not."I said.

"You are right, that would be a tragedy alright"

"Is that your taxi?
Do you have a run back into town?
Come inside to see if there is anything going soon?".
There was a run to the airport coming up in 20 minutes.
So he shook my hand and ordered me a coffee and walked away.

When the receptionist came back with the coffee I asked her who was the old guy?
"Do you not know him?
That is Mr.Mansfield he owns all this"

Then the African lady came waddling over fuming with temper.
"Take me back to Sandymount"
I was delighted to tell her that I had another job on.

To this day I believe that she had a screw loose in her head.

May Day

To all the workers
Happy May day.

So It is finished if you go to Amazon and put in eBook "The steering wheel university" you will see it.
I have a few days to make changes and when I get someone to help me to size the cover I will get it printed, still the eBook should keep you busy.
Over the many years of driving I have met many people, some I would not like to meet again.
But others were pleasant and interesting.

Just a small one.
I had an investment manager in the car and I asked him had he any hot tips?
This is what he told me.
"Shopping centers, we believed were a great investment and we had invested several hundred million in them. One day I had a flash of inspiration and it changed everything.
The world has changed, rents are far too high. People now shop on Amazon.
Did you ever notice how shoe shops and book shops are disappearing.
Why?
Amazon ! Everything has changed.
We sold all our retail investments."
So I asked him what was good "Gold is best"

It reminds me of the story of the Polish man whose family had come to Britain when the war began.
They were weavers and settled in Yorkshire and opened several spinning mills making cloth.
He himself moved to London and when the older generation died out he inherited property and a gold tiara. To keep the property safe he got a storage box in a bank.
He put the tiara a very precious family heirloom into the strong box.
The cost of storage was paid by direct debit and he went about his life.
One day he needed to get the deeds of a house out of the box and when he went to the bank and opened the box the cash and the tiara were missing.
This is incredable
He went to the bank manager who said that the bank is not responsible for goods left in a storage box.
After all who knows what is in the box.
The way these things work is.
You go to the bank with your pass and ID a clerk takes you into the vault and he uses his master key which allows your key to open the box. Then you take it to the table and when you are finished the clerk comes back and you both lock it back in, neither one alone can operate it.
So there was no forced entry!
Cash and valuables were missing.
He went to the police, they said that as there was no sign of a break in there was nothing they could do.
He requested that the CCTV footage from the vault be reviewed and the bank refused.

So he took out a full page advertisement in the Times newspaper explaining his plight.
He must have taken legal advice because banks like to sue.

So be like Chuck Feeney, spend your wealth don't hoard it away.

This is why God made me poor.
But he made me rich in other ways.

I knew a Muslim girl who was having a very tough journey through life.
She had marriage and landlord problems and I helped her to move house.
When the final load was brought in I said that of all the people I know
you would be the first person that would benefit if I won the lottery.

Her eyes opened wide.
Never say that If Allah herd you and granted your wish the devil would take away
the one thing you have that is so precious.
Your wonderful sense of humor.

I hope that she got her life back on track.
I have not met her in years

narju 'an tarqud fi 'aydi allah 

May she rest in the hand of God

So in the book there is one very important chapter on the day I met this very remarkable man.

Its coming to get you RUN RUN

If I put what this is about it would be taken down.
Watch it now it will be gone soon.


Its coming  Run Run away

You are locked in so you have to listen to this.

War of the Worlds

This whole thing is mad!
My wife will not let me leave the house except for walks in the park.
Our son is sent to do the shopping which meant that I have time on my hands.

So I got stuck into the book, chapter 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9and10 So I went to Kindle publishing and tried to download my work (To keep it safe) After 6 goes it said I had downloaded it successfully, I went to bed.
I opened up word and my 10 chapters are gone. I hope the nice people in Kindle have it or I will have to start it all again.
It is really strange how the stories which have been held in my head pop out for their moment in the sun.

Remember the "War of the Worlds" how a whole nation were shocked into believing that the Martians were coming? and peole went wild in the streets.

I feel like this whole Covet19 is like that.
But with the complete idiots in charge of government there is no real way of knowing where facts really lie.

Something is not right for sure.

Perhaps it is a foreign power sabotaging my efforts.

There is one taxi book that beats the hat of anything I could write
"Tales in a rear view mirror" By Donal Ruane 

Just a minute the nice people from Amazon are going to help !!!!! 



 

 

Fall back or spring forward

Good manners is the mark of a man as my granny used to say.
Well I was at the Stakis Hilton now called the Conrad in Earlsfort Terrace.
Things were slow enough when the concierge called me forward.
I was getting out to open the boot when the concierge had thrown the suitcase into the boot and slammed it shut.
"Airport" came a womans voice with a heavy English accent.
Nothing else was said.
"They are making a movie over here I wait until you see the cars and buses from the 1920s"
I said. Then she leaned forward.
"Driver we are not fucking stupid, no sightseeing tour, just you get us to the fucking airport."

They were having a huge row, like 2 dogs growling at each other. They had come to con someone and the deal fell apart and each one blamed the other.

That would have been a throwing out offense by any means. But it was a slow morning.
25 Mins later we pulled up at the departures gate. 20p short of the £20 on the meter.
I had the change in my hand.
As I straightened the handle of his suitcase I said.
I hope you left enough time ?
Corse we ave ya feckin moron.
No its the change in the hour, it fucked up my whole day.
Whats ya talkin abt.

The clocks went FORWARD an hour last night.

His face said it all.

I thought it but I didn't say it. (Who is the feckin moron now)

This would not happen any more with our fancy phones.


This virus is tiny but it has killed off commerce and around the world,
not to mention all the dead. RIP

My God daughter Judy went back to China to visit her children and she has been housebound for more than 10 weeks now.
Her wonderful husband died of Cancer and she was left with 2 small children to bring up.
We help out but with a career you can't give children the attention they demand, so she brought the kids back to China for her own father and mother to care for..Ask any Chinese person and they will tell you that the Chinese education system is far better there than here in Europe.
Her WatsApp went dead when her phone ran out of credit, we topped it up and but still can't get WatsApp back on.
The isolation is having a huge effect on everyone.
Then there are the taxi drivers who will see this as a chance to make  extra money.
I wonder if they are considering that they might be bringing home the virus which could kill someone else in the house.

Happy St.Patricks day to one and all

On the 17th of March Irish people celebrate the saint who came to Ireland and drove away the snakes.
He also took up a shamrock to explain the Blessed trinity, 3 leaves to represent the Father,Son and Holy Ghost.
Parades were scheduled to take place all over the world,but something so small that you cannot see it has put a stop to everything.

Coronavirus-19
As it sweeps the world the countries which did not heed the warnings are paying the price.
Hundreds are dead in Italy and Spain.

One day I picked up two girls that I will never forget. They looked different so I asked them where they were from. Canada came the reply. No I am wondering about your enthaincy.
"Oh we are Inuit, you might call us Escamos, but that means snow eater, BUT WE DO NOT EAT SNOW" 
They were going back to the hotel for tea and then off to the airport.
So they got that ride for nothing, and the tea. 
But I did charge them for the ride to the airport.

Did you know that up in the Arctic circle it is dark for months at a time  and the radio and TV signals get distorted by the magnetic north. So this lack of communication leads to drug and alachol abuse.
The other problem is that because they are so isolated incest is common which leads to big health problems.One of the girls was a psycholagest, the other worked for an airline.

So the big question was why have you come to Ireland?
Everywhere we have been in the World we meet Irish people, so we wanted to see what kind of a place it is. 
And there opinion was?.
"Why would anyone ever want to leave such a wonderful country?"

Well it goes back to the trouble with the British, economic missmanagment and a hope of better things across the sea.
But no matter where you go it is never home.

There is a book called "Wherever Green is worn" By Tim Pat Coogan,    
It is about the Irish dyaspria, right around the world.
Did you know that thousands of Irish people were sold as slaves to the West Indies? 
The flag of Montserat has a harp on it and perhaps they are remote enough to be having a parade today. 




Perhaps next year



 This video shows Dublin in such a good light I would nearly go there myself.

 

Cheltinham races

Friday 13th
I hope everything went well for you.
This is the end of week 2 in isolation for me.
I do go out but not in the taxi.
I have been doing plumbing and tiling.
I guess my wife has not checked up on my life insurance policy yet

A bad plumber split the toilet cistern and the new one was narrower, so I had to strip off the tiles and re tile the back wall. I don't know who sent that guy, but we haven't seen him since.
I bought an electric yoke and a kind of electric disc cutter which are useless
So I finished up with a thing called a "Grout rake" which does the job just dandy.

So the races are on in Cheltenham and thousands are mingling, why it was not called off we will never know.

So there was a businessman who would have a lull in his business at this time of the year.
He loved horse racing and he decided to take his entire staff off to the Cheltenham races for the week.
The staff  loved it and he met many of his customers there.
When he was leaving he paid the hotel for food and drinks and he would pay for the hotel for the following year.

Then there was a Foot and Mouth epidemic in England and he rang the hotel.
"Just transfer the booking fee to next year"
The English hotel managers falls into the hall of fame of things not to do.
"The payment will not transfer until next year."

He had a think about it and he rang his brother who was a priest close enough to the hotel.

He rang the hotel.. "My party will be arriving at 5 Pm on the chosen date.
A minibus arrived with the priest and 7 of the dirtiest and maddest people you ever saw.
The manager said that they could not stay, "But they are booked in, and you would not transfer my brothers deposit"
"Ok I will transfer the payment until next year"
After a brief call to Ireland the money was refunded (in Cash)

"What do you want me to do with this cash Tommy" said the priest.

"Take those poor people off to a decent Chinese restaurant and feed them well then use the rest of the money to help the poor.
It seems as though my business was not appreciated in that hotel "

I am sure most of you have noticed that if people don't look after their customers.

Someone else will.

Look at Norway, most fans by far !!!!

Norway	249
United States	166
Germany	133
Turkmenistan	119
Ireland	107
Unknown Region	30
United Kingdom	28
France	19
Indonesia	17
Brazil	11

One man that loves to win at the races is Mister Ryanair Micheal O'Leary