Thursday, January 25, 2007

4 Fares

I know I go on about how different people are. One person can be so different that you might think they were a different species of animal. A lamb getting out a snake geting in.
Well here is a story of four such people.

Going up Talbot st I met two guys coming down carrying hired out suits. They got in and asked me for ***** St. I knew the story, there had been a shooting there a few days earlier.
Sorry for your troubles buddy I said. There was no way I could pretend I knew nothing.
They were sharp blokes and the people at the top of the pile never give taxi drivers heartache.
Though its the people nearest the very top who are the real problem, both in crime and Law.
Its the people who support their lifestyle who cause all the problems.
If these lads drove their own cars they would be stopped all the time. They have the money anyhow and taxis are needed by them all the time .
They were talking away and all the junkies that saw them in the taxi shouted over.
It was a bit like having the Cray twins in the car.
Suddenly one of them spotted a 07 car, I'm going to buy me a new fuckin car, with an open top so that I can throw Pineapples (handgranades) out without opening the windows.
Jesus hold on lads aren't things not bad enough? I said.
We didn't start this! but as sure as hell were going to finish it, for once,and for all.
When we turned into the street where they lived there was cops all around the street.
Here buddy take 15. a 6 euro fare

Today the cops have found a stash of mines and handgranades during a drugs raid.

He was on the North strand cars flying past him. I stopped. I knew he was a drug addict.
You can spot them a mile off. sallow colour, skin sort of drawn tight around the face. They allways look like shit.
I am sure they feel that way too.
Thanks for stoppin buddy. I feel really bad the way those taxis were passing me by.I never did anything to any of them. I never robbed or mugged and they look at me with a look of hatered and fear.They know nothing about me, I feel bad enough already without that in the mornin.
Take me to the Blue Lion in Parnell st, wait for me then back here.
He spoke non stop, how he had been working at the building game till he got sick and as a courier.
I'm really big into photography now, I have taken thousands of photographs on my computer I have.

He was going into Foleys chemists.
I waited and there was a sizeable group of Polish men outside. Many of them were well past "their best before date" (like myself) and you could just know that the dream of arriving in the land of golden opportunity was becoming a sad reality, no english,no skill, no job and nearly no money.The hopes for their familys back at home fading fast.

He came back out.So were heading off to the Strand again.

Methadone clinic? Yes, is it that fucki'n obvious?.

Well its a fucking dissaster whats happned in this town says I.
So he tells me how his life spiralled out of control. Now I will fight to stay off the Heroin. I never injected it I hate needles (a lot of drug addicts hate needles) I only smoked it. Its the Methadone that has me looking like this. All I want to do is to be around to help me son and family.
I'll beat this bastard yet.
9 euro Heres 12. Look after yourself and he was gone.

Heading down the quays for home before the rush hour. A guy at the bus stop hails me, I pull over a bit and get hemmed in between two buses. Then I see he is pissed drunk and I can't move.
Clondalkin ! take me there.
He has only one finger and thumb on his right hand so he needed help to put on the seat belt.. I'm Dinny Ward I'm a traveller man!
Not only was he drunk but he kept on thinking I was someone else..
Each time he spoke to me I was a different person. It became very spookey.
Clondalkin did I say I was going there ?40 times he said it!.
Then he got very agitated when a motorbike passed.. Mikey take his number write down his fuckin number..The bastards on the motorbikes tried to kill me twice and you could be next if you don't take his number..
Travellers have a very vicous inter clan disputes which are settled with shotguns, slashooks and even machene guns.
It was touch and go. So I kept him going by calling him Dinny. While he called me Patrick, Jimmy, Mikey and Shamey.
Why do they want to kill me ?.
I was wrecked! when we got there.
We arrived up in Bawnogue as the light was fading with 25 euro on the clock. I had listned to him enought to be able to know to get the money( I hoped). He hands me a 10euro.
Here you are..
This is no good. its 25 on the clock.
Thats all your going to get.
Then I'll go in and tell your woman what you did... Straight out with a wad of 50s. 25 change back.
We were best friends then,
So then Dinny then tried to sell me the wifes car..

One time before a big fecker of about 25 stone from the PENTHOUSE started that messing and his wife of 5ft gave him such a box on the mouth.. ( It was sharp like a rifle shot in the van) Don't make a show of me !. Pay the man and give him a tip. He was as quiet as a mouse.
I was only jokin Maggie he shouted after her
Ill give you fuckin jokin when you get inside!

Yes travellers are afraid of their women.

There's a little shop up the way so I went in to buy some phone credit and 7up.
It kills me how in the poorest areas of the ciry things are more expensive as the shopkeepers know that the people don't have cars to go elswhere so they rip them off.

Then to the other end of the spectrum

Today I went to the Airport and got a fair into town.
An Asian business lady, quite chatty asked me about places to eat etc. between calls. Works out of Milan but lives in Prague, works in finance. VERY important, off to the Morrison..19.60 she hands me the 20. Aqwkward moment as she pauses for her change. I press the 40 cent into her hand.
No really.You can keep the change.

No I should have thats your change,not a tip.

As a customer said to me once. Tipping is a bit like cleaning your arse after you go to the toilet.
If you don't do it right it can be very mesey when you go back there again.

Right on.

There you are 4 fares with differing levels of humanity, tragedy, death and despair.
One person staying in the best hotel, on expenses thinks 20 cent is a tip!

While a recovering Heroin addict gives me 3euro tip and says , sorry thats all the loose change I have.

The whole feckin world is mad.

Still want to be a taxi driver?

Become an ACTOR you will still starve but you will be admired.


  1. Anonymous2:23 AM

    Your right Dubb, I had a nwe 06 car and I had to change all of the tyres to non directional. He said I might get a puncture and then put the tyre on the wrong side after the puncture was fixed.Are we not on enought sreain allready?

  2. Anonymous3:02 PM

    That Asian bird might have wanted a ride and you dir=dnt deliver

  3. Anonymous4:52 AM

    This is my first visit to your world and I will be back. Pissed myself at the tipping / cleaning arse analagy. I always tip big by the way.


  4. Great post! I look at the tip as an expression of the giver's level of affinity toward the driver or sometimes just toward everyone. And as all cabbies know, it has nothing to do with the tipper's economic situation. That's why rich people (who are often rich because they're conniving, greedy, and cutthroat) are not known for being decent tippers.